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Ra.One – Bullet Point Report

2011-12-01T04:07:00.001-05:00

All the scenes involving Ra.One - except for the climax - are well executed. Sadly, the movie has other scenes too.

This has to be one of the worst opening sequences in any film, ever.
Its official; SRK should not ever do long hair again (unless he plays Lizardman or something similarly reptile-like).

The special appearances are yawn inducing. Rajnikanth looks old and haggard – did Red Chillies run out of money to apply the Photoshop touchups ;)?

What is it with SRK and Tamilian spoofs? He did a terrible one is OSO, and the one here is only marginally better – at least, in terms of Tamil dialogues (expecting the right accent is too much, I guess). The noodles scene was gross, though.

The child acts reasonably well; just the fact that his emotions registered under that hideous wig says a lot.

Kareena is terrible here – reminds one of her Khushi days. The sole saving grace is the “Chammak Challo” number. She still delivers that one moment, where she turns and smiles with the red in her eyes.

After Cash and Ra.One, it is evident that Anubhav Sinha should stop doing any kind of humor and concentrate only on songs & action sequences. Designing video games would be a good career option as well, IMHO.

As for SRK, he tries hard to make the movie work, but succeeds only to some extent. As the bumbling game developer, he is a bit endearing despite the hamming and the Tamil stereotyping etc – especially in the sequences where he tries to reach out to his son. However he screws up G.One by playing him as a mixture of Terminator II and Rahul.

It is when you watch the forced humor here that you get to appreciate what someone like Karan Johar can do with his screenplay and dialogue-writing skills.

SRK seems to be alluding to the rumors of his being bisexual as he cups Kareena’s breast and Arjun’s balls – both scenes were downright silly.

To me, Ra.One was marginally better than Krish and Drona, as it seemed to be spoofing itself most of the time. However, it isn’t even in the same planet as Enthiran. To put things in perspective, Ra.One is sort of the like the mosquito episode in Enthiran.

7-am Arivu: Bullet Point Report

2011-11-28T04:20:00.003-05:00

7-am Arivu is Surya’s “Dasavatharam”, and I certainly do not mean that as a compliment. The first 20 minutes is paisa-vasool; but the next 2 hours provide several cringe-worthy moments that almost make you forget the first half.

The Chinese song sounds so much like “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...” . Did Bodhidharman introduce this song to the world too? Just asking ;).

The whole circus background was so unnecessary. I initially thought Murugadoss was trying for some parallel to “Apoorva Sahodarargal” , but alas – or perhaps thankfully – not.

After the movie I thought this was the 3rd superhero movie during Diwali – for Shruti Hassan could do genetic engineering, history research, ride an elephant, take up cudgels on behalf of Thamizh culture, distract museum guards, pontificate about cancer…wow!

Except for the Bodhidharman portions, this was a disappointing performance by Surya – especially considering that he generally manages to impress even in a masala flick like “Singham”.

It’s final. Shruti is not – NOT – a chip off the old block. She deserves full marks for trying though – very earnest:).

Murugadoss finds a kick-ass villain, and still botches it up big time. First he overdoes the hypnotism bit until the audience groans at the umpteenth hypnotism sequence. Then he does it all over again with the zombie portions. I am sure both ideas sounded great one paper (and they do work well for while), but end up being poorly executed.

Music sucks, especially the BGM.

At the end of the movie, I fantasized about substituting Surya and Shruti with Vijaykanth and Namitha; the quality of the climax was firmly in “Dharmapuri” area by then. The scene where Shruti berates the scientists for not talking in Tamil was a major contributing factor in this assessment as well.

If Aamir Khan remakes this, I’d really like to see what he concocts out of this mess of a movie.

Favorite Nazi Movies

2011-10-03T03:50:00.003-04:00

The first week of October is historically significant, for it marked the first crack in the wall for the Nazi regime (Naples fell to the Allies on Oct I, and marked the beginning of the end). I wanted to take this as an inspiration on some of my favorite Nazi movies.

Saving Private Ryan: A Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg collaboration, this one was an absolute masterpiece. The first 15-20 minutes were absolute cinematic genius.

Downfall: This German movie depicts the last days of Hitler holed up in his bunker, and his deterioration from a in-control leader to a spluttering, ineffective old man. Bruno Ganz provides an acting masterclass in the lead role. Also, this is a heavily researched move - several quotes are used.

Schindler’s List: Steven Spielberg goes against type in this brilliant cinematic depiction of Oskar Schindler’s life, as he saves the lives of over a 1000 Jewish/Polish refugees during the war.

Life is Beautiful: A “haunting comedy” based on Jewish persecution during WWII is perhaps the only way one could describe this movie - but mere words do not mete out justice to this masterpiece. Roberto Benigni stars and directs.

American History X: Not a Nazi movie in the strictest sense of the word (although it does involve Neo Nazism), this is more a commentary on white supremacy and bigotry. Ed Norton mesmerizes in a performance that is perhaps his greatest to date (which is a great compliment in itself).

Inglorious Basterds: Only Quentin Tarantino could spin a yarn as far-fetched as this one, and actually pull it off. Christopher Waltz is suitably menacing as Hans Landa, and there are enough dialogues to drive Tarantino fans (such as myself) into raptures.

The Great Dictator: Charlie Chaplin. Enough said.

Boys from Brazil: A truly fantastic plot (saying any more will be a desservice to those who have not read this book); the book by Ira Levin is also a fantastic read.

Conversation with a Saint: Bullet Point Report

2011-05-20T04:48:00.002-04:00

“Pranchiyettan …” is, I believe, director Ranjit giving the finger to those who had labeled him a “Hinduvta” director after a series of movies such as Devasuram, Ravanaprabhu, Nandanam, Prajapathy etc.

There have been several movies based on the Kottayam Christian milieu; however movies set in Thrissur are rare. Other than Padmarajan’s Thoovanathumbikal, I can remember no other movie that has used the town and its slang as an important facet in the movie.

It is refreshing that the movie has no “villains”. Siddhique is portrayed as Pranchi’s main rival, but Ranjit has resisted the temptation of having either the hero or villain import a dozen ruffians from several different places, and indulge in an outlandish fight sequence.

The whole bit about hints around the hypocritical lives lead by Siddhique and Khushboo was uncalled for – a cheap shot, really. Could Pranchi not find his happiness even as his childhood sweetheart and her husband lived happily too?

The whole speech sequence was awesome. It reminded me a bit of the iconic “balatkaar” sequence from “3 Idiots”; but the one in “Pranchiyettan…” was more about the fear of public speaking.

The whole concept of “Padmashree-chasing” was a riot. Ranjit clearly has a ball here, with digs at all and sundry.

Jagathy could have been avoided. He added absolutely nothing to the movie, and did nothing new (other than demonstrate a few Yoga poses) either.

Finally, what does one say of Mammootty? This amazing performance is most un-Mammootty-like; in fact it is almost Mohanlal-esque, except for the spotless Thrissur slang (which I think Mohanlal could not have quite managed). We all know that Mammootty excels in statuesque roles, but to see him excel as the self-deprecating Pranchi reminds us that the veteran still has unexplored depths. More innovative scripts please!

More Sequels – Malayalam Cinema

2011-05-03T11:40:00.002-04:00

The dearth of interesting story lines in Malayalam cinema continues. As a result, there are more sequels being planned in Mollywood:

Pranchiyettan vs. Manickyam: Mammootty in an exciting double role re-enacting his memorable roles from the two blockbusters. A special wig has been ordered from Washington D.C.

Osama: Major Ravi exposes how the real Osama assassination went down in 2011. The focus of the story is Brigadier Mahadevan (Mohanlal), who had personally assisted the US SEAL team in bringing down the fugitive, but ended up losing credit in the end.

CBI Umpteen: K.Madhu, S.N.Swamy, and Mammootty reunite to reprise Sethurama Iyer, one of the most memorable characters of Malayalam cinema.

Indhuchoodan: Amal Neerad brings back the iconic Indhuchoodan. Alphonse is doing a re-mixed version of the Narasimham theme music that is being rendered by Jassie Gift.

Ormayundo Ee Mukham: Suresh Gopi is back as Bharatchandran I.P.S, the character that elevated his career. Renji Panicker directs, and promises a thriller that reflects the latest political happenings in Kerala.

Rajavinte Makan: Shaji Kailas remakes this Mohanlal classic with Prithviraj in the lead.

20-80: Prithviraj Sukumaran stars and produces the sequel to 20-20, and re-unites the entire Malayalam film industry. Dileep will appear in a special item number sung by Aditya Narayan as an additional attraction. The great-grandfather of Malayalam cinema, Mr. Joshiiee, will be directing the sequel as well.

Tees Maar Khan – Review

2011-01-10T03:15:00.001-05:00

Much has been talked about of SRK’s split with Farah Khan (heck, SRK even did one of his famous quivering eyebrows teary-eyed act on Koffee with Karan that predictably had Karan sniffing and shedding a few tears of his own – one of the more nauseating television acts I have had the misfortune of seeing), but if all of Farah’s future films are going to be scripted / lifted by her husband, then SRK has probably done the right thing. Kitsch as they might be, MHN and OSO were smart, and had some genuinely funny moments. TMK has (maybe) one LOL moment, and predictably this is a scene without Akshay Kumar in it. But then, even SRK could not have salvaged TMK. SRK definitely has the last laugh here.

The first 10 minutes are fun, and that is about it. The next 2.5 hours leave you reeling with the agony of watching an impossibly painful movie. Don’t believe me? Take one of those mindless Priyadarsan remakes (Hungama, Hulchul etc); multiply the inanity and screaming by around 75%, and substitute Paresh Rawal (who for all his faults can definitely conjure up at least a grin in an hour) with a bunch of un-funny non-actors – you would pretty much get something similar to TMK.

For a non-actor, Akshay Kumar has had a pretty good run at Bollywood. However, he needs to select his scripts with better care. A smart-aleck act and a gummy smile can only be tolerated so far; a few slick action flicks are the want of the day. Frankly, AK is intolerable in TMK.

Katrina Kaif looks hot, and acts as if she is acting badly – not that she has to try too hard. However, all is forgiven with the Sheila Ki Jawani number. Akshaye Khanna hams it up to the hilt; he makes the most of what is really a role meant for Johny Lever. Arya Babbar looks interesting. The rest of the cast deserve to be spoken about (nay abused) in the filthiest of epithets.

Farah Khan has clearly lost her edge; perhaps she cannot do a film that is not a Bollywood spoof. At the very least, she should desist from any future collaboration with her husband (for films!), and write her own scripts. Eating humble pie and teaming up with SRK again would probably be a terrific idea as well.

Verdict: DO.NOT.WATCH.

Bhramaram (A Circular Journey): Review

2010-06-03T10:05:00.001-04:00

After the disappointing “Calcutta News”, Blessy bounces back into some semblance of form with “Bhramaram”. Although “Bhramaram” is certainly not up to the high standards set by the director’s own “Kazhcha” and “Thanmatra”, it is nevertheless an interesting watch ably shouldered by a burly Mohanlal.

From the time Mohanlal (Jose albeit Sivankutty) lands up at stockbroker Unni’s doorstep at Coimbatore, there is an air of foreboding about “Bhramaram”. Lal’s furtive glances and expressions add to the suspense. The movie proceeds on more or less a familiar path, until that stage of the film which reveals that Unni is about to embark upon the journey of his life with Sivankutty – not exactly the most amenable of companions. It is post-intermission that the movie comes on to its own, and hurtles toward the inevitable tragic climax.

*** Spoilers ahead ***
“Bhramaram” falters mainly in its pace. For one, character development is long drawn, and not particularly effective. For instance, Blessy hammers in again and again the fact that Sivankutty loves kids (as if Mohanlal would play a paedophile in a mainstream Malayalam film). In a similar fashion, there is a completely unnecessary sequence involving a run-in with truck drivers – that whole segment ought to have been edited out. The first half of the film totters about with no real aim (except maybe to “tell” the audience again and again that Mohanlal is playing an eccentric, unpredictable character) while the second half is fairly eventful. Worst of all, the sudden “guilt-attack” and subsequent confession looks awfully forced and hurried – almost as if the producer cracked the whip or something! My gut tells me that “Bhamaram” would have worked awfully better as a true road move, with a firm editor holding the scissors. Bharathan’s “Thazhvarom” is an excellent example of a film in a similar genre being handled in a much more controlled manner.

In the end, it is once again Mohanlal who hoists the film to a different level altogether. His burly demeanor, furtive body language, and expressive eyes convey a lot more than most of his dialogues, making them redundant. Mohanlal gets completely into the skin of the eccentric Sivankutty, except during the silly flashback where everybody hams (especially the irritating kid). Suresh Menon does a good job – a very effective foil to Mohanlal.

Verdict: Mohanlal makes this a must-watch, especially as interesting movies from him seem to be becoming extinct.

Kerala Cafe: Review

2010-06-02T11:40:00.002-04:00

Ranjith (along with Blessy, to a lesser extent) seems to view himself as the torchbearer of quality Malayalam cinema for the future – not that this is a bad thing; amongst execrable fare like “Alexander-The Great”, “Pappi Appacha” and “Pokkiriraja”, Ranjith’s recent films stand tall.

“Kerala Café” is a rare conceit for Malayalam cinema – a collection of short films by an ensemble of directors. The last time we saw several directors at the helm was for “Manichitrathazhu”, which delighted the masses and critics alike. Unfortunately “Kerala Café” is no “Manichitrathazhu”, but is nevertheless an interesting and brave attempt.

M.Padmakumar’s “Nostalgia” focuses on the hypocrisy of a Gulf expatriate (Dileep) who waxes eloquent on his homeland while outside the country, but can only find cause of complaints once in Kerala. Dileep pitches in with a decent performance, but the subject lets him down badly. Not the best way to begin a collection of short stories!

“Island Express” was weird – I need to watch this one again. It probably did not help that I watched this one after a couple of beers on a hot Chennai night! My apologies to writer-director Shankar Ramakrishnan, who has clearly put a lot of thought into over-complicating this short story!

With “Lalitham Hiranmayam”, Shaji Kailas proves beyond doubt that both Suresh Gopi and he are best suited to the loud, overbearing, abusive cop dramas that they have become famous for ever since “Ekalavyan” and “Commissioner”. Suresh Gopi has a perpetual muddled expression here, perhaps reflective of the director’s state of mind. The actresses do what they can to salvage this short film on the emotional consequences of adultery, but to no avail.

“Mritynjayam” shows all signs of a forced entry into this collection, perhaps to include the “horror” genre in this ensemble. While the director Uday gets the mood right, he falters in the selection of the plot, which is not fresh at all. Fazil's son looks a lot less effeminate here though, after his previous outing in "Kaiyyetha Doorathu".

“Happy Journey” by Anjali Menon is – thankfully - refreshing fare. It is a commentary on how easily the average man on the street can be scared with the mere mention of a bomb. Jagathy plays his role with aplomb. Anjali Menon – take a bow!

B.Unnikrishnan helms “Aviraamam”, which is a take on the effects of the economic recession on a family. The actors – Siddhique and Shweta share a warm camaraderie – rescue the weak plot. Moral of the story - one should not expect much from the director of “Madambi“, “IG” etc.

“Off-Season” from Shyamaprasad is once again a take on the economic recession, but an unexpectedly humorous one. Right from the opening scene (a laugh-out-loud motif of a recent Oscar-winner) to the “remixed” version of an eternal classic, this short film entertains. Suraaj is his usual loud, wise-cracking self, but eminently likeable for a pleasant change.

Anwar Rasheed directs the best short film of the collection - “Bridge”. This is one of those few times where I had the experience of watching an Indian (short) film of international quality. The director is scores visually, aesthetically, and – most importantly – conceptually. It would be a pity if Anwar Rasheed goes back to directing mindless potboilers like “Rajamanickyam”, “Chotta Mumbai” etc when he clearly has the potential to do so much more.

Revathy crafts “Makal” - a story of poverty and exploitation that is a tad manipulative, but nevertheless effective. The story begins (spoilers ahead) with the close-up of a waiter @ Kerala Café (which is the common denominator across all the stories, of course), who is then revealed to be a girl set up for adoption. The director manipulates the viewer into a sense of security, before taking the breath out of you by delivering a blow to the solar plexus.

Lal Jose’s “Puram Kazhchakal” ends “Kerala Café” with a flourish – the director just lets the actors (especially Mammootty) be, and cranks up the expectation levels before delivering a wholly unexpected, heart-touching finale.

Verdict: A laudable attempt. Watch it for “Bridge”, “Makal” and “Puram Kazhchakal”.

3 Idiots

2010-01-12T22:26:00.002-05:00

It's probably not very far-fetched to think of Raju Hirani with a wand, infusing his own peculiar brand of humor, cheer and charm into these stories where another director might have probably gone a different route (Farhan Akhtar and Shimit Amin come to mind, for instance). Although "3 Idiots" is not quite as charming as the "Munna-bhai" series, it is neverthless very enjoyable fare.

Aamir Khan acquits himself remarkably well as the college-goer (notwithstanding the rumors of air-brushing the wrinkles). Although he went a little overboard with the shuffling body language initially, it soon wore off and Aamir soon got into character as the "different" Rancho. However, this is probably the zillionth time Aamir has undertaken this character graph - the I-don't-care brat who slowly comes to terms with where he has gone wrong and straightens up (Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikandar, Ghulam, Dil Chahta Hai, Akele Hum Akele Tum etc). Neverthless, he never gives us the "seen-it-before" feel, and summons up a warm camaraderie with the rest of the college-going crowd.

Madhavan is as dependable as ever. He gets some of the best one-liners in the movie (the one after the child-birth scene is priceless). Sharman Joshi, funnily enough, does not get to flex his comical skills much (I thought he was unbeliebably funny in RDB). However, he shone in the "interview sequence". The actor who played Chatur was the best of the lot - he was just spot on. Kareena had nothing much to do. Boman Irani was, quite frankly, a major disappointment - this is a performance unbecoming of his talent.

In the end, this is completely a director's movie (unlike a "Ghajini", where it was the stars who moved the movie forward). There were some superb directorial flourishes - the whole sequence with Sharman's parents was very well conceived; without resorting to the typical cliche, the point was made, and with humor too. Chatur's "balatkaar" speech, the re-union scene, and the many one-liners scattered throughout the movie ensured that there was barely a dull moment.

However, there were quite a few "boring" sessions as well - most of the songs were not required. Sharman awakening from the coma took quite a bit of screen time - this is a flashback, and we have already seen Sharman hale 'n' hearty, for chrissakes! The birth scene, while a nice high-point in the flow of the story that finally showcases Rancho's inventiveness, went on for too long - and the "all is best" motto was downright stupid.

However, all said, this was leagues above the regular stuff that Bollywood turns out. - extremely enjoyable movie.

Back Again

2010-01-12T22:01:00.003-05:00

I am back after a brief hiatus, and I hope that I will be able to do justice to this blog. I know that I have been guilty of ignoring this space for the last 6 months or so - all I can say is that I will try my best not to let this happen again.

The last 6 months have been a whirlwind of activity. In fact, it feels like the whole of 2009 has been pretty much so.

In March, my wife and I had our baby daughter Medha. Of course, with the delivery being in the US, much ado was made about every single thing - Lamaze, names, tags, baby seats and what not. With me wise-cracking about the baby's hearing abilities after birth (she never cried even when an alarm bell clanged right next to her, and my family is notoriously semi-deaf) and her then failing a "hearing test" at the hospital (she wanted to give us a brief scare, I guess!), and then the cops pulling me down while taking the baby home from hospital (after all those Grisham and Steve Martini potboilers, I finally got to see a US courtroom first-hand!), March was downright crazy.

In July, we relocated to Chennai, India. Between packing, throwing away stuff and airline restrictions, it feels as if we threw away enough stuff to furnish a new house. A lot of people asked me about adjustment problems - strangely enough, we did not many (except that I miss the weather!! Christ, its hot!). We are pretty much well settled now, with regular work schedule and all that (not much of a schedule, working all the time!). With the baby, its been difficult to catch up with many movies - have started going out to movies again just recently.

What I miss most are libraries and books - its been ages since I discovered a new author or a good book. I checked out a couple of online libraries at Chennai, however either their book collections are not impressive enough (as my wife quips, its pretty hard to have a book collection that satiates me), or they have delivery problems - not within city limits and all that. The nearest library is around 8 10kms away - at my reading speeds, I am still in two minds whether to join up or not.

We are now trying to buy a flat - staying in a rented apartment has its limitations. Negotiations with Arihant are almost through, and hopefully things will work out.

So thats most of my updates over the last few months. Now let's get onto business as usual.

Naan Kadavul

2009-04-05T21:49:00.007-04:00

After watching the much hyped 'Naan Kadavul' from Bala, who is one of the few directors whose movies I await, my first impression was - is this all Bala could conjure up after the wonderful 'Pithaamagan'? A lot of the faults that Bala had appeared to shed with Pithaamagan (and with Nandhaa, to a lesser extent) - coarse melodrama, for one, - have resurfaced here with a vengeance.

Rudran (Arya) is abandoned by his father on the recommendation of an astrologer. After 14 years (a 'clever' reference to the Ramayana, no doubt), his family comes to re-claim Rudran. Rudran, however, is an Aghori mystic - which is apparently an excuse for Arya to do his best Chithan impersonation. With much ado and fanfare, Rudran leaves Kasi for a small village in TN.

This village is the abode of a villain who wouldn't be terribly out of place in one of those crass movies that Vinayan gets to make every now and then. He runs a merciless beggars' racket, populating the group with new beggars every now and then. Hamsawalli (Pooja) is one of these new recruits who gets slapped, kicked, and violated in all perverse ways before Rundran finally 'rescues' her.

As far as performances go, the film is alright. Arya does a okayish job (although reminiscent of Chitthan), Pooja is decent. The group of beggars do a marvelous job, and in a couple of sequences they actually manage to make this work. The daily-life humor works quite well - with the beggars, and even with the fake sanyasis.

However, when a director loses the plot, there is little the actors can do. Bala fits in a lot of throwaway references to mysticism, our esteemed epics and gods, exploitation etc. However, a lot of the movie appears so crass and steeped in melodrama (when one expects the finesse showcased in Pithaamagan, no less) that I was completely disillusioned by the proceedings. I do hope Bala recovers and hits his groove next time.

Verdict: Avoidable.

The Rotten Coconut Awards

2009-03-20T12:33:00.022-04:00

Best Movie Titles:

College Kumaran: With Mohanlal in the title role. Perhaps a better title would have been College Kumarante Achchan.

Sound of Boot: Very apt, as the audience 'booted' it out of the theatres without a qualm.

De Ingottu Nokkiye: Nobody gave the movie even a first glance, despite the director trying to milk some controversy from some canned scenes.

Innovative Concepts:

An ex-major who has resigned his post (with no apparent repercussions) and opted to run the college canteen, with occasional forays into activities like coaching students, taking on corrupt politicians, helping out orphans in distress, bashing up stray goondas etc. Extremely original.

A love story starring Mammootty prancing around in leather outfits in Singapore, I presume. There's even a fashion show where M struts his stuff - (s)exciting, huh?

Suresh Gopi in yet another 'different' role, this time as a sanyasi detective - bet even Agatha Christie couldn't have thought of this one.

Dileep (Mulla) is a hardened criminal, who is forced to care for a baby. Within some days, the baby changes his behavior, arousing and developing the sense of empathy and humanity in the cold blood killer. Very, very original.

The English Scholar Award:

Move over, Suresh Gopi and Mammootty - M.G.Sreekumar is here. With buzz words like 'Audien' and 'Criticization', rumor has it that Renji Panicker is planning to cast M.G.Sreekumar in his latest abusive saga of cussing, swearing, and filpping the bird.

Best Director:

Balachandra Menon for De Ingottu Nokkiye (roughly translated to Hey! Look Here!). Not content with writing and directing this neo-classic, the director also appeared on several channels accusing others of 'chopping' his creation. Never miss a trick for publicity, huh?

Comeback of the Year:

Jayaram should have been a cakewalk for this reward; he had his first post-millennium hit, riding on the petite shoulders of Gopika, and worked hard to revive some of his old mimicry tricks.

However there was another unexpected comeback in 2008 that had audiences whistling in joy, and dancing in the aisles. Yes - I am refering to the one actor in the history of Malayalam cinema who encompassed all emotions into one expression; who modulates his dialogue delivery like no other; who screeches like a jackal when delivering the only authentic karate kick of Malayalam cinema - none other than Babu Anthony in 20-20.

Performances of the Year:

Mohanlal in College Kumaran lends new expression to the word sleepwalking. In a role he is clearly disinterested in, Lal barely goes through the motions - leading to the question why exactly he signed the movie.

Mammootty in Annan Thambi on the other hand, is loud, ebullient and thoroughly irritating - I almost prefered the sleepwalking Lal. I can at least figure out why Lal walked through CK in a daze; but why Mammootty invested all his energy into a movie as inane as AT defies logic.

Old Wine in New Bottle Award:

Unanimously to Sathyan Anthikkad for re-inventing, re-polishing, re-painting, and re-selling the same wheel over and over again.

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-19T07:15:00.004-05:00

It is indeed funny how Hollywood cinema seems to have taken a fascination for all things Indian over the last 5-6 years or so. Using Indian songs as playback scores for various big budget Hollywood disaster movies etc, over-hyped Broadway Shows such as Bombay Dreams (hope that the Broadway version of LOTR will not be as amateurish) that dare to claim partial ownership for ARR's soaring global popularity today, Bollywood actors (other than Om Puri, I mean) being cast in decent roles in Hollywood movies, studios setting up big time to produce Indian films ...- the Indian cinema industry has never had it better. Indian cinema is hot in the global market right now - and SDM makes its entry just the right time.

Many have attacked SDM for taking potshots at the underbelly of India - riots, poverty, beggars etc. Although there is a ring of truth to these accusations, there is no denying the fact that the unique plot, screenplay and above all the director Danny Boyle's vision makes SDM a very refreshing movie experience (perhaps not all that it is being made out to be right now, but a very fine movie neverthless). Also, in defense of SDM, showcasing India's poverty and hardship of life is not at all the intent here, unlike other movies like Salaam Bombay, Fire etc (although I did find Salaam Bombay just brilliant); SDM is basically an 'underdog-truimphing' movie. I guess the plot device is pretty much familiar to everybody by now, but for the uninitiated - SDM narrates the tale of Jamal who is in the 'hot seat' of KBC having answered all but the final question, much to the increasing chagrin of egoistic and insecure anchor Prem Kumar.

There are quite a few scenes in the movie that stood out for me- a young Jamal wading out through a pool of shit to get an autograph of Bachchan, the idol of Lord Rama amongst the riots, Jamal reeling off tales made on the spur of the moment with just enough real historical figures thrown in to wide-eyed gullible foreigners, the hilarious reference to the practice of chappal stealing prevalent across every single religious / tourist institution in India, Jamal's euphoria on rescuing Latika turning into hot white anger and then despair as his brother then takes claim over her, a couple of repartees Jamal throws at the hapless constable (Sourabh Shukla), the bathroom scene with Prem Kumar - I could keep going on, which pretty much indicates how I felt about the movie, I guess!

SDM owes a lot to casting director Loveleen Tandan, who gets the best actors for the parts - especially the child actors who are just brilliant. Dev Patel is extremely good as Jamal - he looks the right age, and has the right disarming underdog quality that makes one root for him. Anil Kapoor could have been better, I thought. Irffan Khan is pitch perfect (when is he not?). The standout performers for me, though, were young Azhar and Ayush who played the young Salim and Javed respectively - their innocent faces and reactions pretty much made the movie for me. As for ARR, honestly he has done much more impressive work in India - neither his b/g score nor the songs can hold a candle to the kind of work he has already done in Dil Se, Rang De Basanti, Lagaan, Iruvar, Minsara Kanavu etc - just goes on to show that some things take longer to change after all, I guess :).

Verdict: Extremely good, a must-watch.

Paradesi (Foreigner) - Review

2009-01-05T20:18:00.003-05:00

It is after a long time that one sees Mohanlal really sink his teeth into a role worthy of his talent. Although 'Paradesi' ends up being a tad disappointing, the performances alone make this movie a worthy watch.

As the title indicates not-so subtly, the tale is about Indian Muslim expatriates who live a life of misery and fear ever since the partition. Instead, the director opts to iterate through a string of characters, tracing their lamentable history through the weary eyes of Moosa (Mohanlal). Despite being treated to a virtual acting exhibition by a list of Malayalam actors, being subjected to different variations of the same story again and again does take its toll on the viewer. A little bit of subtlety would have gone a long way in raising this film to another level altogether, I couldn't help but think.

In what ought to have been a landmark role, Mohanlal is curiously apathetic as the young Moosa - lackluster would be the one would be tempted to use if it were not for the marvelous turn Mohanlal turns in as the aged, harried Moosa. In both body language and voice modulation, Mohanlal is the aged Moosa personified - the one drawback is the apparent inability to imbibe the Malabar slang. Paternally affectionate with the young journalist, pensive as he discusses legal matters with the policemen and lawyers, despairing as he is banished yet again, cringing and pathetic as he attempts to hide from the policemen - there is apparently no emotion that Mohanlal cannot conjure up for Moosa. It is a pity that Mohanlal the actor is constantly drowned in tripe like Madambi and Hello.

Shweta Menon is truly a surprise as Moosa's wife, Aamina. It is a shocker of a performance - made all the more effective more by sheer shock value than actual histronics, one suspects. But nay; the very thought is cruel and unfair to an extremely competent Shweta.

There are quite a few effective cameos in the movie - Jagathy, Sidhique, Padmapriya, T.G.Ravi, Cochin Haneefa etc. Jagathy yet again reveals what an outstanding talent he really is - after the likes of Mazha and Nottam in recent times, he chews up the scenery as the mentally unhinged Abdul Rehman. It is a pity that this fine actor is more often than not relegated to asinine comic roles. The Lakshmy Gopalaswamy story was not effective though, and the stark depiction of police brutality was completely uncalled for. The akwardness between Moosa and Khafija was a deft touch - all the more so since it left unexplained.

It is directorially that the film falters. All the stories / characters are but clones of one another, and one could see the end coming a thousand miles away (though Mohanlal reserves his best for the final few scenes). A dash of subtlety and some firm editing might have done wonders to make a good film better.

Verdict: Laudable effort, but could have been so much better.

10-avatharam: Atheism, Religion, Chaos Et Cetra

2008-07-07T19:51:00.006-04:00

As a self-confessed, unabashed Kamal Haasan fan, I look forward to his movies with a great deal of interest and curiosity: what will the man do next? On that note, perhaps Dasavatharam was bound to be a disappointment; for here was a movie where the gotcha factor was no longer present. Despite that, I hoped that Kamal's exemplary story-sense and screenplay writing skills (his outings as a screenplay writer feature the likes of Guna, Mahanadi, Thevar Magan, Anbae Sivam and Virumandi) would somehow justify this whole gimmick. Alas, that is not the case either. IMO Dasavatharam is merely gimmicky, and also shockingly unintelligent.

First the positives: some of the action sequences and special effects are extremely good. The whole Nambi sequence is superb, but also detrimental to the movie as a whole since it raises your expectations (btw, with the whole skin-piercing thing and all that, Kamal takes yet another cue from Mel Gibson's book of torture). The various cues to mythology (especially the characters of Vincent Poovaraghan, Gothai/Andal and Govind) also work, though I do not lend credence to the emails being floated around linking every role to an incarnation - that's just taking things too far. That said though, there is an effort by Kamal to tip his hat to the mythology, as can be seen in Vincent Poovaraghan's entry and death scenes, the throwaway scene to the monkey named Hanu, strong hints that the characters of Aandal and Govind are but re-incarnations of Gothai and Nambi etc). And of course, as with other screenplays by Kamal, the names of characters tell a story of their own - Gothai/Andal & Govind, Govind's father is Ramaswamy Naicker, the monkey named Hanu etc for instance. Some of the dialogues are pretty good too; sample this for instance:

Now for the negatives:

For a lot of the roles, the makeup was quite bad - the role of Krishnaveni patti being a case in point. Unfortunately, the patti is nowhere near as endearing as Shanmughi-maami was; she is pretty irritating most of the time, and without the baggage of the 10 roles funda, would probably have been chopped off at the editing table. The same goes for the role of Bush (though the makeup was marginally better), despite the attempt to be cute with utterances of nucelar in a lousy accent. But the worst makeup was certainly for the guy on stilts, he looked like something out of LOTR - the absolute pits. Was there a 'foot in mouth' reference somewhere in the introduction scene, btw? I think there was, bu did not quite the context there.

The next casualty is the screenplay. The one thing I expect from Kamal is a compact, intelligent screenplay. Much to my dismay, Dasavatharam had gaping holes all over the place. Despite the whole idea of the movie being fashioned around the 10 roles, I expected Kamal to tie together these roles in a much better way. For example, MMKR had the 4 roles bound together in a tight, cohesive screenplay. From forced humor (Kamal tries too hard to imbibe the Crazy Mohan style of wordplay here, maybe he should search for his own brand of humor) to utter tripe (the Hiroshima-Pearl Harbor reference was just pathetic), Kamal the screenplay-writer stoops lower than ever before. Also, there is an attempt to be cute by trying to invoke the butterfly effect etc - its once again nothing more than a gimmick, especially with the fluttering butterfly on screen; they could as well have erected a stupid board that said 'Butterfly Effect in play here' or something. Subtlety is something that the whole movie seriously lacks, I am afraid. And of course, Kamal needs to stop harping on the same topics film after film - religion, atheism, idol-worship, hypocrisy - its become darned boring and repetitive. He needs to write a movie that talks about none of these things!!

The performances - nothing to write home about. Each of the 10 roles Kamal does is reminiscent of something that he has done before. With the possible exception of the Nambi character and the Telugu guy (who was pretty much the same character as SPB's CBI character from Guna), every other portrayal is a letdown from the lofty expectations one holds for a Kamal movie. Even the supporting characters have nothing much to do, once again unlike other Kamal screenplays. Asin is a far cry from her charming Ghajini-self here; annoying and shrill as hell, the only laudable aspect of her performance is that she manages to evade the 'clutches' of Kamal :).

The worst part of the movie, though, had to be the whole cancer-curing episode. At a time when even Rajni-Mithun jokes about such things are stale, this was an absolute cropper. It wasn't even a tongue-in-cheek kind of thing, which is what makes it even more cringe-worthy. Crap like this happens in Rajnikanth movies, not in Kamal Hassan ones!!

I might be too harsh on the movie, you could argue. For instance, while Mohanlal dons the shoes of the caring brother for the umpteenth time in a Balettan and a Madambi, and Mammotty exalts his newfound comic skills in utter tripe like Annan Thambi and Thuruppu Gulan, surely Kamal Hassan is afforded a Dasavatharam - especially after a good movie like Anbe Sivams at the B.O. But that is precisely why ones admires the heck out of Kamal Hassan - he is the one actor in the industry who refuses to compromise, irrespective of B.O success. When even Kamal compromised and assembles something like Dasavatharam with a clear eye at the B.O, it certainly is a disappointment in my book. Let us hope Marmayogi has no more compromises from Kamal !!

Movie Review: The Kite Runner

2008-06-15T17:58:00.004-04:00

'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini was of the finest books I'd read in the last 10 years or so. Hence, it was also one of the film adaptations I was eager to check out. It's been in my Netflix queue for a while now, but when I found a copy in the public library, I couldn't resist. After watching it twice, I can't help but conclude that its a pretty good adaptation, although it still is several notches below the extremely poignant novel.

'The Kite Runner' is primarily the tale of two friends from Afghanistan, Amir and Hassan, told through the eyes of Amir. In the story spanning about 20 years, one sees how the Afghanis have had to suffer, and how the country is faced with one difficulty after another. The narrative does not hold back on its criticism of the Taliban regime either, and is brutal in its indictment of the cruel, inhuman 'beard regime'. However, all this is in the background, and rightfully so; this is basically Amir's story, and how he succeeds in redeeming himself - in his own eyes, in the eyes of his beloved Baba, and most importantly, in the eyes of the best friend he has ever had.

I will not attempt to write down the story here, because (a) there is no way I can even try to summarize such a beautiful book in a paragraph or two; it would be a complete degradation of the book, and (b) for those who haven't read the book, but will see the movie, it would destroy a large segment of the movie for you. Rest assured though, that despite all the suffering the protagonists undergo, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Homayoun Ershadi as Baba towers over the cast. He was exactly like how I had imagined him from the book - proud, sophisticated and wry. His intolerance toward the wrath-espousing mullahs, his bouts of temper, and his fragility once he becomes old and ill are all brilliantly brought out by the actor, but with subtly. Its easily a role that could have been enacted like poor Bachchan did in 'Khudah Gawah', high-handed, loud and overblown, but kudos to Ershadi in portraying the proud Baba in his own style. Its a remarkable performance, and worthy of quite a few awards this year.

The child actor who plays Hassan turns in a remarkable performance too. Every slight by Aamir is reflected in his crestfallen eyes, never more than in the scene where he crushes a ripe tomato on his own face, still refusing to turn upon his friend. Its perhaps unfair to judge him against the book, but once you do, despite some great acting, he falls short.

Everybody else is competent enough, and no actor is visbly bad. However, several scenes like the redemption of Amir, the return of Assef, and Sohrab saving Amir don't have the necessary impact, and this is clearly the director's fault. Perhaps a story like this needs a wee bit of melodrama - everything seemed a little too flat here. But in the director's defense, he does make several scenes like the kite-flying competition, and the stoning to death extremely well. He really does do a commendable job of converting a modern classic to celluloid; but as an avid fan of the novel, I can't but help nitpicking.

All in all, a half-decent movie, but not as good as the book.

On My Playlist

2008-05-31T15:03:00.010-04:00

Kahin To Hogi Woh... from 'Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na', a love ballad sung by newcomer Rashid Ali (where on earth does ARR find all these awesome new singers?), and Vasundhara Das who finally breaks out of the item number rut she's been stuck in for a while. My gut tells me this is destined to be the new-age Pehla Nasha... if its picturized well.

Kabhi Kabhi Aditi Zindagi... from 'Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na' has super-hit written all over it; most ARR numbers require a lot of listening to before you get to like it. Kabhi Kabhi Aditi Zindagi..., like the other insta-ditty from ARR Enrendrum Punnagai... from 'Alaipayuthey', is mind-bogglingly addictive. ARR ought to let down his hair and indulge in these hip numbers more often; he's been stuck in the 'Swades' and 'Jodhaa Akbar' mode for a while now (not that I don't enjoy those either, 'Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera' and 'Khwaja Mere Khwaja' are amongst my favorite ARR songs). Rashid Ali does a repeat here, and he's got a lot to thank ARR for.

Meherbaan from 'Ada' makes it ARR thrice in a row. ARR singing is increasingly becoming more and more common unlike say, 5 years ago, and it is quite possible that I might get tired of listening to him croon song after song. Right now, however, his high-pitched, slightly nasal voice is undiluted music to my ears, so much that I even listen to the likes of the 'Jaagenge...' from 'Bose: The Forgotten Hero' (and that turned out to be quite an inspired choice of the name, I have to say!). Btw, this is such an awesome album, and so is 'Tehzeeb', never mind their status at the B.O.

Mast Kalandar from 'Hey Baby' is a wild song, totally. The nasal, slightly whiny voice of the main singer takes nothing away from the sheer energy of this number. Even the fact that the picturization of the song was no great shakes (despite the presence of Akshay and SRK) couldn't prevent this one from busting the charts.

Engu Ninnu Vanna from 'Calcutta News' is a very nice song, albeit a little old-fashioned. Madhu Balakrishnan has made a career for himself on the nostalgia factor of Keralites, and he does the same here (and this is not taking away from his considerable singing abilities at all). Veteran Chitra easily dominates the song though. The video sucks big time, with Dileep trying hard to pass off as an intellectual, but only succeeding in trying to look like a bad hair gel commercial.

Hawa Sun Hawa from 'Ada' is the typical Rahman song that takes ages to get used to, but once you do the tune refuses to get out of your head. Its easily one of the better duets Sonu and Alka have sung together. Somehow, the tune reminds me of the neglected Khamoshiyaan ditty from 'One Two ka Four', but hey that could just be me.

Hare Raam Hare Raam from 'Bhool Bulaiyya' is probably the most infectious track in the past few years. Even my horror at what old Priyan had done to poor, old-fashioned Manichitrathazhu couldn't stop me from nodding my head to the rollicking beat of this one. Akshay, for all his faults as an actor, is extremely good at most song picturizations, and he doesn't put a foot wrong here.

Aparan: The Other

2008-05-19T22:58:00.007-04:00

Back after a brief hiatus - was in Kerala for a vacation, and more importantly, for my sister's wedding. It was almost more hectic than regular office hours, but then that's another story. A couple of days before returning, I landed up at the familiar doorstep of Empire Videos at Poothole, and successfully procured a couple of Padmarajan DVDs. Its been a long time since this post, and I'd decided to re-visit some of these masterpieces anyway - especially the ones I haven't seen in a long time.

Aparan (The Other) narrates the rather sinister story of Vishwan (debutante Jayaram), who's forced to come to terms with the fact that he has an unsavory lookalike. He comes to know of this in an unexpected manner, when he is attacked by two strangers at a hotel. The police refuse to buy his explanation that he's an innocent bystander, and Vishwan is hauled off the nearest police station. By sheer chance, the inspector in charge happens to be an old friend (Mukesh), and Vishwan is released. After some more unpleasant incidents that result in Vishwan losing his job, he is forced to seek out his so-called 'twin' to confront his nemesis. Little does he know, though, what fate has in store for him.

As usual, Padmarajan writes an extraordinary screenplay . Many scenes stand out - like the one where Shobhana accuses Jayaram of trying to molest her, the scene when Jayaram 'becomes' Uthaman and claims money for a murder cold-heartedly, and of course the chilling climax. Like many other screenplays by Padmarajan, this too contains several layers. One aspect to the screenplay, of course, is the age-old adage that good and evil are but two sides of the same coin. In fact, I felt that this was the central premise of the move. Despite not showing the 'other' character until the very end, his shadow hangs over the entire movie, like an undercurrent of evil. Its incredible how Padmarajan manages to bring in this 'dark' feeling without resorting to familiar devices like dark lighting, loud music etc; he achieves it nevertheless.

Another aspect to the movie is how easy the protagonist finds it to 'change' his persona to that of his lookalike, the antagonist. There's a scene here, where Jayaram tries to hang around shady localities, dress in dark colors like his lookalike, and even leer at women. I thought this could have been done much better - by the director himself, by the music director in particular (who chooses to put in some dumb rock 'n' roll music or some such crap as the BGM), and of course by Jayaram. In fact, the possibility of the scene reminded me of the 'mirror' scene in Mohanlal's Chenkol (The Staff); Mohanlal expresses, almost magically, both the demons in his mind that are threatening to break free, and the sheer helplessness as he feels his life succumbing to fate once again (its truly a magical scene, and one of my favorite Mohanlal scenes, ranking right up there along with the 'murder' scene in Sadayam - With Mercy). Of course, Mohanlal has forgotten more about acting than Jayaram ever dreamt of, so that's no just comparison. However, I have to admit, this was one of the scenes in the movie that disappointed me. The blurring of the lines between good and evil could have more imaginatively done, IMHO.

Note: Spoilers below.

But Padmarajan more than makes it up with a great, great climax. With the antagonist dead, Vishwan is now free of his nemesis, his lookalike. However, he chooses to live the life of his 'other, abandoning his life until now. His motivations are unclear - is it because he fears that Uthaman's accomplices will hunt him down? If so, why does he then smile pityingly at the burning embers of Uthaman? Does this mean that Vishwan has succumbed to the shadow of evil cast over the movie? Jayaram gets the creepy, sinister smile just right, and Padmarajan has once again succeeded in creating a haunting climax.

Performances: the movie belongs to Jayaram. In fact, it wouldn't be far fetched to say that this is the finest performance in Jayaram's career. Madhu impresses in his usual role (There's a deft director's touch applied to Madhu's character as well; one of the initial scenes shows Madhu gently flirting with a neighbor. Later, when the lookalike surfaces, Jayaram is highly suspicious of his father, especially given his nature). All the other actors are competent, but nothing to write home about. Its almost a multi-starrer though, with Mukesh, Shobhana, Parvathy, Shari, Jagathy, Innocent, Soman etc in the movie. But certainly, its Jayaram who has the meaty part here, and he makes the most out of it.

This certainly doesn't rank up there with Padmarajan's best movies like Namukku Parkkan..., Thoovanathumbikal etc. However, the deft touch of Pappettan's baton is evident throughout the movie, and that touch has seldom produced an outright bad movie. Aparan is well worth more than one watch just to analyze, admire and fondly remember, albeit with a bit of sadness, the famous Padmarajan touch.

Film Review: Anjaathey

2008-04-15T13:58:00.008-04:00

Whenever I champion the quality of cinema being produced from the youth brigade of Tamil and Hindi cinema, I am greeted with incredulous, disbelieving, and even contempous expressions. But its true - while Tamil cinema can boast of Kaathal, Paruthiveeran, Veyyil, Kathrathu Thamizh and even Pithaamagan in the last few years, while Hindi cinema has an eclectic oeuvre in Black Friday, Bheja Fry, Maqbool, Ek Chalis Ki Last Local, Johnny Gaddar, Omkara, Mithya, and The Blue Umbrella in recent years, Malayalam cinema has little to boast of, at least from its youth brigade, if one exists (we have a grandfathers' brigade for sure, though!) Myskin's Anjaathey is a worthy addition to the list of Tamil films quoted above.

Take the whole opening sequence, for instance. Its just another stunt scene, really. But the director places a camera on the ground, and instead of moving the camera moving around to cover the characters, has the characters move in and around the camera. The only parallel I can think of is in Kamal Hasan's Apoorva Sahodarangal, where a camera is placed in a trench, and we see a car stopping, and people (their feet, rather) getting out. Its slightly gimmicky, certainly, but an effective way of raising curiosity, one has to admit.

The tale is but a variant of the ages-old story of two friends, one a cop, and the other a goonda. But the whole role-reversal thing out here (you see, Narain is the goonda who later becomes the righteous cop, and Ajmal the self-righteous hero-type who later turns amoral due to a perceived failure in life) makes for a nice twist. And of course, the casting of the hitherto soft-spoken Prasanna as the scenerey-chewing serial rapist makes for a decidedly wicked turn of casting. As with all other good movies, there's a whole bunch of other characters who could have been merely incidental in other movies, but are more than relevant to the proceedings here. Fo instance, there's the one-handed gullible friend Kuruvi, Ajmal's sister who has a crush on Narain (which is brought out ever-so subtly), the old flower-seller, the father of the kidnapped girl - in fact, almost too many to count - and each one of these characters is given at least one crucial scene (its almost as if the director told these actors while casting them, 'hey, you have one scene to yourself, so make the most of it').

What I liked here was that the director had a clear vision. He takes almost every single cliche in the book - the two-friends saga, son redeeming himself in father's eyes, friendship, sacrifice of the friend, cops versus villains - and re-works them, until they take on a decidedly different form. Most of the time, the hero is merely incidental to the proceedings, and is forced to the sidelines while all these catastrophic events take place around him.

Performances are uniformly good. Prasanna, despite being burdened with a weird wig, underplays his character, and in a marked departure from his usual chocolate-boy roles, manages to be a menacing villain. Ajmal makes a neat debut. Narain is a little rough around the edges, but its also that kind of role - a rookie cop in a tough investigation - and he makes no glaring mistakes. However, at the end of the movie, its undoubtedly the director's vision that makes Anjathey a treat to watch. Full marks to Myskin.

Verdict: Extremely good, falls just short of greatness.

My New College: JanakiParvathyShakuntalaDamayanthi College of Education

2008-03-21T00:54:00.016-04:00

Links courtesy HawkEye

Looking at how popular colleges like these are, I have decided to begin my own college in Chennai: Shree JanakiParvathyShakuntalaDamayanthi College of Exemplary Education. This will of course be a 'mixed' college, but also be a carefully 'controlled' environment so as to extol the finest virtues of discipline and self-control amongst students.

As Chairman, Counselor and Principal, my rules will be these:

a. All college buses will have two entrances - one for boys and the other for girls.

b. The buses will have a central partition, so that not even a carrot can be shared between the two sexes.

c. All girls should obligatorily carry an umbrella with them at all times (black in color).

d. When climbing up/down on stairs, girls should have their umbrellas open, so as to deter all eyes.

e. Furthermore, all girls should have their dupattas fastened with no less than 50 safety-pins at all times. This will be subject to random inspections, and anybody found with a number of pins lesser than the minimum will have to undergo punishment.

f. All HODs will be provided special mopeds /TVS Scooties so that they can roam around campus during 'free periods', and look around for offenders. Offenders will be punished harshly, and repeat-offenders will be dismissed.

g. Within the classroom, girls and boys will be separated using a one-way mirror partition on both sides. Each classroom will also have different entrances.

h. Girls (and boys) are forbidden from wearing makeup. At the most, kajal can be used.

i. No 'western' cultural programs will be allowed. Western Dance, Light Music, Skits etc are not allowed during cultural festivals. The only items / competitions permitted are classical dance, Bhajan competition, and skits from the Ramayana or Mahabharata.

j. No skit should have girls and boys participating at the same time. The dupatta rule applies during skits as well.

k. During competitions, cheering, catcalls, whistling etc are not allowed. At the end of every event, the event coordinator will lift his/her hand signalling permission to clap. The audience has to clap then, and only then.

l. Attendance for all competitions are mandatory.

m. Girls are not allowed to participate in sports events.

n. Girls are not allowed to view sports' events held for boys.

o. In the girls' hostel, the dupatta rule must be followed whenever there are any visitors.

p. In the visitors room of both the girls' and boys' hostels, all occupants must have both legs on the ground at all times.

q. All hostels will have speakers on the ceilings, which will start playing bhajans at 4:00 AM, and 6:00 PM. All lights in the rooms will be automatically switched on at this time as well. If any speaker is damaged, all occupants of the floor will be suspended.

r. All hostels will have a TV room. The TV will be locked in a glass case, and the hostel warden will decide what channel is to be place. The TV remote would be in the custody of the hostel warden at all times.

s. College tours are not permitted.

t. Hostel residents should be within the college campus by 6:00 PM.

Can't think of any more, going off to sleep !!

Apocalypto: Film Review

2008-03-16T14:51:00.009-04:00

As directors, there's more than one similarity between Mel Gibson and Kamal Hassan; both of them are talented and ambitious story-tellers with unique visions, both of them have a penchant for violence (of the gory kind, where blood sprays from the throat, and spears jut through flesh with the sickening sound of metal meeting flesh), both of them are comfortable tackling risky and controversial topics - so on and so forth. Oh, and neither of them shy away from making the odd sexual innuendo even in the most serious of movies. But neither of them are completely there as great directors, though both of them certainly having the making of great directors. Their respective directorial ventures, though certainly different from (and mostly a notch above) the run-of-the-mill stuff, and often featuring breathtaking moments / scenes, often fail to reach the heights that you'd expect they would. 'Apocalypto' is no different in this regard.

At its heart, 'Apocaypto' is a 'chase' movie. Of course, the director's conceit is that it is set amongst Mayan tribes, and hence offers a fresh (and rather interesting, one has to admit) look at an age-old cinematic concept. The film's hero, Jaguar Paw, who is probably an ancient ancestor of John Rambo, is snatched away from a joyous existence with his tribe, and hauled away to a 'modern' city where he is to be sacrificed before the sun-god, with a witchdoctor and a crowd-baying-for-blood in tow. This pretty much makes up the first half of the film, and the rest is about Jaguar Paw making his way home to his pregnant wife and son, who are stuck in a well.

It is entirely to Gibson's credit that he almost makes this work. The entire portion of the movie leading up to the siege of the village is the Mayan version of what a Sathyan Anthikkad, or a Bharathiraja regularly portray. Of course, the whole sequence about the aphrodisiac is more like from a '90s David Dhawan flick, but the bit about the young wife washing her mouth totally cracked me up. The invasion of the village, the killing of Jaguar Paw's father, and the whole sequence with the women is pretty brutal (especially the one with the woman who resists). The violence is unflinching, and the grueling journey from the village to the great city is beautifully picturized.

Unfortunately, the move lets you down in the second half. After the awesome escape sequence, and the breathtaking sequence with the jaguar, the move heads steadily downhill and never recovers. To somebody fresh from the horrors of watching Rambo muttachan (grandpa) gunning down people yet again, the hide 'n' seek in the jungle holds no new aspects. The insertion of gruesome violence yet again does not help the cause either. The only bit of suspense is about the wife stuck in the well, but by then you are beyond caring - there have been too many heads rolling down the steps, throats slit, people bitten by snakes, veins cut, heads hammered...you get the picture.

Like I had said earlier, the Gibson-Kamal connection is something that I have felt earlier too (though I think Kamal fancies himself more as a desi Quentin Tarantino). A lot of the imagery here reminded me of Virumandi - the haunting image of a woman stuck in a well while there's a massacre going on around her being the most pointed image, of course. Another point, IMHO, was the unnecessary use of gruesome and at times sadistic violence - as the best movies so often remind you, what's left unsaid and unseen often has the most impact, and its never more true than in this movie.

The Special Features section of the movie is a virtual feast. The amount of research they have put into the movie is staggering, and that would be an understatement. The tattoos, jewelery, clothes, hairdos, architecture, religious beliefs and the weapons - oh yeah, definitely the weapons - have been painstakingly researched. The technical team is so good that they just suck you up into the ambiance of the movie. The rain-forests look awesome, and the camera work is unobtrusive, yet fantastic.

In short: A great watch, but not for the faint-hearted.

Shit's The Word

2008-02-09T15:21:00.004-05:00

Since 'Rowdram' and 'Sound of Boot' have just been released, I thought it would be apt to run through what would typically runs through the minds of the likes of Renji Panicker and Shaji Kailas when planning a new movie.

The Hero: Suresh Gopi, Mammootty or Mohanlal. If its either of the first two, they can be educated from some fancy-sounding school outside Kerala (and mouth epithets like shit, crap, bullshit, damn etc in every couple of sentences), and also be the son or grandson of some retired honorable politician whose roaring days are over, thanks to backstabbing partners (who the hero can abuse during a later scene). If its Mohanlal, he's probably an orphan who migrated to an outside state/country when his parents were killed, and picked up classical music along the way. And yeah, a music composer needs to be hired as well - fit in a classical or semi-classical song somewhere. Otherwise, ominous-sounding background music would do (what are Enigma CDs etc for?).

The Heroine: Optional, only for eye-candy. Should be pretty, knowledge of English preferable (since there's only one female dubbing artiste in Kerala, who's knowledge of English would rival that of a kindergarten kid). Make her an honest government servant, like an policewoman, or a collector or sub-collector. Should be tough, but marshmallow in the hero's hands once he's called her a 'bitch' or something else equally derogatory.

Crony of Hero Who Dies Just Before Climax: Biju Menon, Tony or one of the new young blokes whose debut films have flopped. An orphan who the hero accosted in his childhood and brought home. Faithful companion, insert scene where crony cries and remembers his gratitude to hero.

The Betrayer: Pretty much the same as the crony, except the betrayer is money-minded (insert scene where the hero affectionately chides him for being so darned money-minded). To add insult to injury, this character has to suffer through the verbal diarrhea of the hero (insert couple of Sanskrit shlokas if Mohanlal, hire Sanskrit professor for 2 days of shooting) before being killed.

Hero's Father: Either a garlanded photograph on the wall, in which case an affectionate mom is mandatory, or some veteran actor like Madhu or Janarddanan who makes all the appropriate noises.

Hero's Mother: Mandatory only in certain cases, as outlined above. Pretty much delegated to serving food, and to the puja room. Probably fit in a scene where she worries about her son, and the dad consoles her saying that their son is a man (as opposed to Dileep).

Poor Man / Woman Who Hero Helps: Usually, an out of work actor suitably disheveled. The character would be a victim of some tragedy, waiting for justice tearfully after being abused by the system and/or corrupt politicians and policemen. Enter the hero, who then delivers a lecture on how Gandhi said that the heart of India is with the poor etc, and promptly delivers justice.

Object of Abuse: There's hardly any other way to describe the likes of Kollam Thulasi, Rajan P Dev, Devan, Shammi Thilakan etc - placed in the movie solely to provide the hero an opportunity to mouth off. These would usually be corrupt politicians / police officers. Typical verbal attacks include being called a pimp, being accused of being the hero's father's barber (or some such) who then proved ungrateful, and at the end (or just before interval) being asked to do a countdown, or insert an external object into a hidden body part.

The Villain: Sai Kumar or Siddhique, who seem to be our only charismatic actors around apart from the 2 Ms. They have nothing much to do except drink malt whiskey, slip in an oblique reference to Karunakaran/Antony, and then summon up suitably indignant expressions as the hero indulges in verbal diarrhea yet again.

That's it, that's the formula. And hey presto, you have the latest Mohanlal / Mammootty / Suresh Gopi blockbuster ready to hit the theatres!!

Manichithrathazhu: The Unmaking of a Classic

2008-01-14T22:21:00.001-05:00

I just had to watch 'Bhool Bhulaiyya', Priyadarshan's psychological take on the neo-classic 'Manichithrathazhu', even if only to criticize. In many ways, it is much more ghastly than 'Chandramukhi', for this movie at least had the excuse that it had to be tailored to suit the Rajni persona (and in the bargain, throw any semblance of logic out of the window. Can't imagine why this line of thought seems to have stuck with all Rajni directors. Wasn't Dalapathy good and entertaining cinema?). With 'Bhool Bhulaiyya', Priyan has no such excuses, since he fails to retain even a glimmer of the spirit of the original despite investing in scene-by-scene remake. This, despite him being part of the original's crew.

In both remakes - and at this stage, it seems prudent to remove Chandramukhi from the comparisons for the same 'excuse' mentioned above - subtlety seems to be a big no-no. Nuances from the original - which is one of the most important reasons why it is regarded as a classic by the current generation - are discarded with disdain. Instead, we have uniformly bad acting - even from the normally dependable Paresh Rawal and Rajpal Yadav, who really ought to take a break from the buffoonery they have been up to in their recent outings.

Consider this: in 'Manichithrathazhu', there is a strong hint that Nakul (Suresh Gopi) is a neglectful husband - sample the scene where Ganga asks Nakul to bed, and he excuses himself citing the excuse that he has work to attend to. In fact, the lovely Varuvanillarumee Vijanamam Ee Vazhiyil number strongly indicates that Nakul might even be impotent ( a fact that is only indicated at in the various remakes by Prabhu's nuanced performance). Thus there is a strong foundation laid for the possibility that Ganga is neglected, bored out of her wits, and thus particularly vulnerable and empathetic to the legend of Nagavalli. Instead, here we have Shiney Ahuja all the time grinning like an idiot, and happily nuzzling a rather plump Vidya Balan during an incoveniently placed duet.

And then, there are scenes where Amisha simpers (in that excruciatingly teeth-grating way that only she can) about the rat poison left oh-so conveniently in the kitchen - much like in the Tamil version, where we have 10 laborers literally groaning and moaning to carry the bed across the corridor. I am not sure why the directors feel that Tamil and/or Hindi audiences need such dumbing-down - after all, these are the same audiences that made superhits of a 'Thevar Magan', a 'Lagaan' and a 'TZP'. Labels like 'hey, there's poison in the kitchen' and 'this bed, that the possessed heroine will later lift, is so darned heavy' are juvenile and overkill - perhaps expected of P.Vasu, who wouldn't recognize good cinema if it bit him on his plagiarizing ass, but certainly not of Priyan who has made a lot of good films in the past.

Obviously, neither Jyothika nor Vidya are a match for Shobhana, who delivers a career-defining, knockout performance in the original. Jyothika overacts, to much merriment, and resorts to inane grins, light on the eyes etc to at least frighten the kids. Vidya Balan tries hard, though she's obviously watched DVDs of 'Manichithrathazhu' one too many times (never more obvious than in the scene where you can tell she's just yearning to pick up that bed)! Shobhana's expressions in the crucial scenes are phenomenal - attributable to bad/strange acting on first watch even if you notice the change of expression, but bang-on upon subsequent viewing. The most famous scenes, of course, are the ones with the psychiatrist displaying the jewelery with a manic fervor, the one at the temple where the psychiatrist deliberately tries to aggravate her, and then the by-now-classic scene with the lifting of the bed. Shobhana, despite not doing much of consequence after Manichitrathazhu, is a treeat to watch in what must rank as one of the greatest performances in the history of Indian cinema.

The psychiatrist is the main commercial ingredient of the movie - he provides comic relief, and acts as the main catalyst. At the risk of sounding biased, I just cannot imagine anyone other than Mohanlal in this role. His antics, like the one where he shakes his leg incredulously to check the sound of the anklet is coming from his leg, or the where he gazes lecherously at the portrait of the dancer, have by now been mimicked successfully by both Rajni and Akshay; however, most of these gestures were improvised by Mohanlal on the sets (does somebody have the link to the interview where Fazil said this?). While Rajni's role is ... well, more or less a typical Rajni role, Akshya Kumar copies Mohanlal's expresssions, body language and posture completely. He does a pretty decent job, but the magic is clearly not there.

The music of Manichitrathazhu was very important too, since the the alternate persona was a dancer-singer clearly well-versed with music; she sang and danced at night, after all. The Pazhamthamizh pattu number (conveniently ditched in the remakes, as the timing of the song placement was slightly awry) was not just a song randomly inserted into a scene; it was clearly the the doctor trying to soothe the alternate persona by singing a song in the same raaga as that of the one that the dancer dances to at night (the doctor hears this earlier, and hence he knows the song, so that loophole is closed as well).

I can keep going on and on; the original was a movie where all loopholes were plugged, and had several nuances/hints placed, only to tie them all up toward the end. Only several watches of the movie help you understand all of this. With the remakes,its difficult to sit through the movie even once - wild dogs couldn't drag me to a second screening.

Indian Cinema '07 - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2008-01-05T21:40:00.000-05:00

Restricted to Hindi, Tamil and Malayalam cinema, of course.

THE GOOD

Irffan Khan in 'The Namesake': To carve out a memorable personality out of what seems to be a no-role at first glance is, by itself, a tremendous achievement. Ashok Ganguli is, at least on paper, an unobtrusive, gentle and quiet Bengali - not exactly an author-backed role. What Irffan Khan, hitherto known mostly for his venomous dialogue-spewing roles, puts into this role is tremendous dignity. And of course, he manages to completely out shadow Tabu in an author-backed role.

Pankaj Kapur in 'The Blue Umbrella': To say that Nandkishor is one of this great actor's worthiest performances should be testimonial enough, for its been no ordinary career. Traversing the path of cunning / wily to sympathetic over the course of 3 hours is not something that many actors can even dream of. Pankaj makes it look oh-so remarkably simple.

Priyamani in 'Paruthi Veeran': A knockout performance by an actor nobody had rated very highly - hell, not even thought of as meriting attention. As the feisty, fiery Muthazhagu, she simply sets the screen alight. The scenes where she stubbornly refuses to shed so much as one tear as her father thrashes her, and of course the shocker of a climax are her best scenes; but her whole obstinate demeanor, though a tad reminiscent of Abhirami from 'Virumandi', had me very, very impressed.

Jeeva in 'Katrathu Thamizh': The protagonists of Kathrathu Thamizh', and to a lesser extent, the one of 'Veyil' too are losers. Both of them have been beat by life, and the failure of their lives stare at them in the face. While Pasupathy in 'Veyil' is completely defeated and wallows in self-pity, Jeeva unravels and becomes mentally unhinged. Though I do not completely agree with the film, Jeeva has turned in a truly remarkable performance, further strengthening the belief that he is one of the most talented young actors around.

Aditya Shrivastava in 'Black Friday': Contrary to most reviews, I thought this performance was miles ahead of Kay Kay's in the movie (which has my vote for movie of the year). As Badshah Khan simmered with frustration, rage, resentment and finally hopelessness, I quite forgot that this was a performance. A comeback of sorts, after 'Satya'.

Kareena Kapoor in 'Jab We Met': Kareena's been trying comedic roles for quite sometime now. In fact, going by the likes of 'Khushi' and 'Mujhse Dosti Karoge', she'd been trying a bit too hard. She finally gets the balance just right. As the loud, self-obsessed Geet, she's a scream, and is also a perfect foil to Shahid, who tries hard to look quiet and dignified.

SRK in 'Chak De India': It is easy to dismiss this performance as 'for once, he just underplayed, yaar!'. Yes, he did, and to great effect too. SRK was every inch Kabir Khan, the haughty but patriotic hockey coach who wanted to live his dream through his team. Unlike some of our other superstars, SRK proves that his acting chops have not deserted him yet, nowhere more than in the scene where his eyes mist up in the climax.

Darsheel Zafary in 'TZP': He literally carries the film on his shoulders. Consider what a more obnoxious child actor, like Master Raju of yesteryear, could have done to this film.

Sarika in 'Parzania': This is a performance that hits you in the gut - all the more, since you don't expect it of her. They should have given her both the National Awards - the male and female versions !

Vinay Pathak in 'Bheja Fry' & 'Aaja Nachley': The discovery of the year, even if he did not go around dropping his towel. Remarkable comedic skills, a chameleon-like ability to switch personalities, and an endearing screen presence - this rotunded, cherubic actor has already displayed more skill than many 'heroes' have in a lifetime.

Anurag Kashyap, Lal Jose, Balaji Sakthivel & Aamir Khan: For 'Black Friday', 'Arabikatha', 'Kalloori' and 'Taare Zameen Par' respectively.

THE BAD:

Gautham Menon: I was horrified and insulted by 'Pachaikili...'. Is this the best this promising director could make of the promising 'Derailed' by James Seigel? He's gone down a few notches in my estimate.

Mohanlal: In 1992, Mohanlal's filmography read 'Sadayam', 'Kamaladalom', 'Aham', 'Rajashilpi', 'Adwaitham', 'Suryagayathri' and 'Vietnam Colony'. In 2007, it reads 'Chotta Mumbai', 'Hallo', 'Alibhai', 'Rock N Roll', 'Flash' and the sole grace, 'Pardesi'. Add to this the excreable 'RGV Ki Aag', and a controversial interview, and you have the writing on the wall: the humiliation of one of the greatest actors the Indian screen has ever seen.

Vidhu Vinod Chopra & Sanjay Leela Bhansali: Like guru, like protege. Trust the duo to hype up their films, deliver pretentious crap, and then howl at 'stupid audiences & critics' for not being 'intelligent enough'. VVC needs to shut up and hand over the directorial baton to Raju Hirani, while Bhansali needs to lose all this baggage of being a 'sensitive' director, lose chamchas like a certain Mr.Jha, and start afresh (not plagiarizing would be a definite start).

Yashraj Films: All glamor and no content makes the Chopra a bad boy. As always, SRK rescues them with 'Chak De', but barely.

Konkona Sen: For proving that even she can act badly. Don't believe me? Watch 'Aaja Nachley'.

Lohithadas: For that monstrosity called 'Chakkaramuthu'. Its unfathomable how a writer who gave us the likes of 'Thaniyavarthanom' and 'Kireedom' could fall to such levels of mediocrity, nay ineptitude.

Priyadarsan: The Mallu readers already know why!

THE WORST:

Preity Zinta: All that collagen injections are showing. The perky gal from 'Dil Se' has been replaced by the irritating, collagen-sustained, pouting creature in 'Jhoon Barabar Jhoom'. Lara Dutta, with that delicious French accent, showed her a thing or three about comedic timing.

Nisha Kothari: As I'd suggested elsewhere, she should migrate to 'Malluwood' and give poor old Shakeela a run for her money.

Ram Gopal Verma: 'RGV Ki Aag' alone would have helped RGV make the bottom of the heap. He also gave us 'Go' and 'Darling'.

I regret to say that I have not watched a lot of (supposedly) good films like 'Ore Kadal', 'Pardesi' etc. I daresay, if I'd watched these (and other) films, my list might have been altered.

The Race by Richard North Patterson

2007-12-19T21:58:00.000-05:00

With his latest novel 'The Race', Richard North Patterson takes another firm step away from the regular legal thrillers that his fans have been used to. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing, as his previous novel 'Exile', and this novel prove. This time, Patterson takes on an election year in USA, and takes us through a realistic presidential campaign, with such myriad issues as gay marriage, abortion, stem-cell research, and of course, racism.

Corey Grace is a Republican, but an outspoken one at that, and not afraid to speak his mind - like our own Muthalvan (Nayak). He's that rare breed - a politician with integrity, and his advisors fear that it could be his greatest liability as well. Matching wits against the other candidates - an unscrupulous career politician, and a religious fanatic - is not Corey's only headache; he is also incredibly attracted to an African-American movie actress, which is a sure way of polarizing votes. The grueling campaign is extremely well captured, and along the way the author also raises relevant questions on religion, racism, politics and other issues.

How I wish that such books were adapted as movies for the Indian audience. This one has everything in it - drama, passion, betrayal, love and triumph of the human spirit. Needless to add, its an extremely well written book, and I just cannot wait for the author's next.

Book Post

2007-12-09T10:54:00.000-05:00

Its been ages since I did a post on books - have been pretty busy of late, hopefully only until the end of 2007. Anyway, here's some of the stuff that I have been reading of late:

Andrew Vachss: The inept website notwithstanding, here is a fine author who would be a dead-sure certainty for those who like the work of Michael Connelly. I am still in the process of completing the Burke series, but there is no doubt in my mind that here is an author whose books I want to buy and read repeatedly. Burke (the word burke is slang for 'killing silently/without leaving evidence', as an audio clip on the website informs you) comes with a deeply scarred past, and today he lives only for his family - and to protect abused children. Each of the novels opens up only a tiny bit of Burke, merely hinting at the rest ever so tantalizingly. Vachss puts it best:

I intended the book as a Trojan horse. A crime novel that pulls the reader into the story at the same time it delivers a steady diet of hardcore reality... Even the name "Burke" is part of that. The infamously homicidal partnership of Burke and Hare began as a graverobbing enterprise. In the early part of the nineteenth century, the duo supplied the local medical school with fresh cadavers. When they finally emptied the graveyard, they began to create their own "product," by opening a hotel. Very few guests checked out. Because they could not present a corpse with fresh wounds to the medical school, Burke became so adept at killing without leaving marks that, to this day, the phrase "to Burke" means just that.

Sandra Dallas: I have read just one novel of hers, 'Tallgrass', which suffers from a definite Atticus Finch hangover, but is an engrossing read nevertheless. I plan to read more from this author, will keep you posted when I do.

David Ellis: Since Grisham seems to have given up on legal thrillers in the hopes of becoming a more serious writer nowadays, and I have exhausted the likes of Steve Martini, Scott Turow and Brian O'Shaugnessy long ago, I had to really search for a new author. I appear to have found a good one in David Ellis. His 'Line of Vision' is as good a thriller as anything else you have read, and his 'Jury of One' is on my bookshelf right now.

Cody MacFayden: I know I wrote about this author before, but I find myself wishing for another novel featuring Smoky Barrett, despite 'Face of Death' not being a patch on the first installment of the series 'Shadow Man'. Smoky Barrett (whoa, what a name!!) is, I imagine, what Clarice Starling would have been if she had never been touched by Hannibal Lecter.

Richard North Patterson: He falls under the category of authors I had mentioned earlier, who seem to have given up gritty courthouse dramas for a 'higher calling'. Well, if it results in novels like 'Exile', I can only be thankful. This giant of a book deals with the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in an unbiased manner, and is often an eye-opener (at least for me). Most of all, this book espouses the adage 'One man's revolutionary is another's terrorist' in a pretty convincing manner.

Chris Bohjalian: Am currently reading 'Midwives', my first book by the author. It certainly is an interesting read so far, and the author promises to be another whose collection of books I just have to read.

Sideburns and Bellbottoms

2007-12-02T14:12:00.000-05:00

'Om Shanti Om', widely touted as the tribute to the kitschy cinema of the 1970s, features the re-union of SRK and Farah Khan after the hugely successful 'Main Hoon Naa'. SRK, a lot like Sreenivasan in 'Udayananu Tharam', plays a supremely untalented junior artist who wants to make it big. And make no mistake, this is a role tailor-made for the trademark mannerisms of SRK the star (as opposed to the actor, who reigned supreme with effective performances in 'Swades' and 'Chak De') - the stammer, the arched quirky eyebrows and the omnipresent hamming rather make sense in a movie like this, really. And his bubblegum-chewing modern star-son act, though irritating, hits the mark all too well - I mean, I can all too well imagine a Fardeen Khan or Tushaar Kapoor doing the same things!

However, I have to admit that I very much preferred the cheeky 'Main Hoon Naa' to this bloated, bursting-at-the-seams star vehicle. Yes, OSO does have some great in jokes (my personal favorites are the by-now-infamous Manoj Kumar sequence, the throwaway Govinda bit and of course the delightful 'Maine Pyar Kiya' reference), the awesome spoof on Filmfare awards, and also features the original 'Om Shanti Om' song sequence from one of the greatest masala potboilers of Hindi cinema ever. However, it also has a rather boring plot, inadequate music (despite the catchy six-pack ditty), an over-hyped 31-star song where one is forced to hear (for the first and probably only time ) admiring oohs when the likes of Arbaaz Khan, Sunil Shetty, Dino Morea etc enter the frame, and worst of all, a complete letdown of a climax 'inspired' from the above-mentioned 'Karz' (and another classic too, revealing the name of which would probably spoil what little novelty the climaz holds). 'MHN' managed to pay the same kind of homage, with a lot more tongue-firmly-in-cheek humor, and more importantly, without the conceit and pomp associated with this film.

The supporting cast comprises chiefly of the delightful Kiron Kher (who does the melodramatic Nirupa Roy kind-of role with just that amount of cheesiness), the under-utilized Shreyas Deshpande, and the surprisingly-sleazy-looking Arjun Ramphal (who, judging by his past few films, has firmly hitched onto the SRK bandwagon to make hay even while the sun does not shine). Deepika Padukone looks fantastic, and emotes well with what little she is entrusted with. Farah Khan's song picturizations are, surprisingly, lackluster. She has been claiming in quite a few interviews that conventional Bollywood choreography bores her nowadays, and believe me, the dis-interest shows. However, the rest of the film is super-grand technically, visually and aesthetically.

What does Farah Khan do next, though? She already has two films that pay homage to the bygone era of Bollywood, and appears to have exhausted the nostalgia factor. The litmus test for her would be whether she can make a completely different film next time - a whodunit perhaps?

Thoovanathumbikal: Poetry on Celluloid

2007-12-02T13:53:00.000-05:00

Recently, I came across a beautiful piece on one of Padmarajan's oft discussed 'Thoovanathumbikal' on the Passion for Cinema blog. As the writer puts it, this is most definitely a movie that grows on you - disturbed characters, the use of symbols, and most of all, the loneliness that is the mark of the three principal characters make for some really compelling cinema. Indeed, there are not many directors who can convert literature to cinema so convincingly.

Here is the link to the piece - its worth your while. And this is something that I wrote last year about my favorite Padmarajan movies.

The Tehelka Expose

2007-11-16T00:43:00.000-05:00

Tehelka has done it again - another expose, this time targeting the Gujarat genocide. And of course, we have the familiar litany of accusations, escapes and counter-attacks: why now, what about Godhra, what about 1984 and Rajiv Gandhi, pseudo-secular, pseudo-intellectual...the list is pretty long.

Actually, I have never understood this pseudo nonsense. It means 'False or Counterfeit' as far as I know, but I don't understand how opposing vehemently the rabid pro-Hinduvta brigade make one pesudo-something. That's another word I hate, Hinduvta - it is, to me, the complete antithesis of Hinduism, which is a word I have always associated with peace and tolerance. Hinduvta, on the other hand, reminds me of riots, murder, rape and now, - most horrifying of all - saffron draped men ripping out foetuses from pregnant mothers. Its barbaric that many of us equate one with the other, truly.

I am not sure whether this is, as Tehelka claims, the most remarkable story of our times. I mean, this was mostly just verification of something we already knew in the back of our minds - unlike, say, the extent of the cricket-bookies nexus. Nor do I care if they were, as their accusers frequently claim, politically motivated - that is irrelevant to the content of the story. We actually have murderers and rapists bragging about what they did on camera, with no show of remorse.

Will the judiciary shed its customary lethargy and take action? Or are we still reduced to online petitions and replying to 'action-reaction' quotes? Will Modi be voted back to power yet again like last time, based on his 'economic reforms'? If so, I fear what I read recently is true: we are no longer a civilization, merely an economy.

My Favorite Film Song Videos

2007-10-07T19:58:00.000-04:00

Admittedly, the idea for the post is borrowed from an old Naachgaana poll, and also from one of Qalandar's recent posts, the main difference here being that I am not sticking to Hindi movies, except for the exceptional ones. Here they are, some of my favorite film song videos, in no particular order.

Ek Ladki ko.. from 1942: A Love Story

RD Burman's swansong, and a great video befitting the sheer magic of the song. Manisha looked almost ethereal here; in fact, let me go out on a limb, and say that there's never been a song where a heroine has looked as beautiful. Moreover, Kumar Sanu, thankfully, has curbed his nasal instincts here. The fact that R.D.Burman had been out of sorts for a long while, and that he seemed to have conjured up a score on par with his best (and that's saying a lot) just before his demise contributes to the legend of this song too. Its an instant classic.

Narumugaye... from 'Iruvar'

Mani Ratnam was one of the first Indian directors who made the filming of songs a work of art. Prior to Ratnam, picturizing a song simply meant a dozen costume changes for the hero & heroine, a dozen skimpily clad women in the backdrop shaking their asses, and more often than not, a passing shower to conveniently drench the heroine. The advent of Ratnam and like-minded directors changed all that to a large extent. 'Iruvar' (The Duo), although a cropper at the B.O, is generally acknowledged as Ratnam's best work till date, and a milestone in Mohanlal's career - and considering the body of work both these thespians have built up, that's a truly remarkable. This song shows how serene, indeed how tranquil, B&W songs can be if done the right way. The song also builds up the relationship between Anandan (Mohanlal) and Pushpa (Aishwarya Rai, in her debut vehicle, and also probably her best performance till date), at the same time establishing the era of film-making using the shooting of the film-song.

Kanneer Poovinte... from 'Kireedom'

If ever there was a heartrending movie, then this is it. Narrating the tale of a son whose life goes astray after he is forced to take cudgels on his father's behalf, 'Kireedom' (Crown) brings a lump to the throat of anyone who has seen the movie, for its characters are so endearing, indeed so ordinary, that one cannot but help commiserate with them when theirs lives unravel. Remade in Hindi as 'Gardish' and in Tamil by the same name, a single telling glance by Mohanlal in this song (when his fiancee is being married off to another) easily outclasses entire performances by the other actors.

Sundari Neeyum... from 'MMKR'

MMKR, undoubtedly one of the best products of the Singeetham-Kamal-Crazy combination, is also one of the strongest contenders for the funnest Indian movies of all-time. It features the awesome track Sundari Neeyum... composed by Ilaiyaraja and sung by Kamal himself (in another language- Malayalam, to boot), with astounding vocal control. Contrary to public perception, this (and not Farah Khan's Pehla Nasha...) is the first song to be filmed entirely in slow-motion. Kamal's and Urvasi's characters here (Kameswaran and Tirupu Sundari, respectively) are incredibly endearing, and the whole song captures their simple dreams so well.

Devasabhathalam... from 'His Highness Abdullah'

'His Highness Abdullah' marked Mohanlal's entry into film production. It was a light-hearted movie that is still fondly remembered for its music, and a wonderful performance by Nedumudi Venu. The music, which is still fondly remembered, was by the brilliant music director Raveendran, fondly and reverentially refered as Raveendran-maashu. Each song in this movie is special, not least for the ease with which Mohanlal enacted them on screen. Not many actors can perform Carnatic / Hindustani songs convincingly on screen, and among the ones who can, Mohanlal easily rules the roost (for 'Morning Raaga', Shabana Azmi used to see this movie and 'Bharatham' as references). In fact, I am pretty sure that Priyadarsan has not copied this movie only because there are not many actors who can carry off songs like these. In this particular song, Mohanlal unwillingly clashes against a musical maestro (played by lyricist Kaithapram) in an awesome raagamalika.

Pachai Niramae... from 'Alaipayuthey'

A Mani Ratnam video again. Here, the picturization mimics the colorful lyrics in what is a virtual explosion of colors. Shaad Ali's 'Saathiya' mimicked the dance steps and the tune alright, but not the seamless union of lyrics and camera work that this video so effortlessly managed.

Maanam Thelinje Ninnal... from 'Thenmavin Kombathu'

This video is probably Priyadarsan's 'tribute' to some obscure Rajasthani folk song, but it works, and how! The catchy song (which owes its remixed existence to an old Ilaiyaraja tune), the sets and the awesome cinematography all contribute to this song being one of the best-shot Malayalam film songs.

Eeran Megham... from 'Chithram'

'Chithram' was probably the picture that catapulted Mohanlal to superstardom. This romantic tragedy directed by Priyadarsan ran for more than a year in Kerala, and made Mohanlal, who was until then merely popular, the heartthrob of thousands of women in Kerala. I know - looking at him today, it seems a little far-fetched to associate 'heartthrob' and Mohanlal in the same sentence. But take a look at him prancing around like the best of them in this song, and you'd know why. The girl in this song is Priyadarshan's wife today.

Chaiyya Chaiyya... from 'Dil Se'

Looking at it analytically, this is quite a dumb video - I mean, you have bunch of dancers dressed in what looks like Gujju attire grooving to a Punjabi song on a train that is going to Ooty. But then, the brains behind this song - Mani Ratnam, A.R Rahman, Gulzar , Sukhwinder Singh, Farah Khan and SRK - were at a crescendo of sorts, and their confidence / energy / adrenaline somehow seeps through into the song. Truly, even after listening / viewing the song umpteen times, even today, it gets your feet tapping. That is the magic of cinema for you.

Theme from 'Punnagai Mannan'

An outstanding BGM composed by maestro Ilaiyaraja, played on the keyboard by none other than A.R Rahman, and featuring the muti-faceted Kamal Hasan on screen, its no wonder that this 2-minute bit of music still lives on thru ringtones and mobile phones. Kamal Hasan, a trained classical dancer, apparently had a hard time getting the Western dance moves here, and had to undergo a lot of training and practice. Well, the results show!

Sundari... from 'Dalapathi'

This song features one of the best war sequences Indian cinema has ever seen, albeit in a setting reminiscent of the Japanese Samurai. Likening Surya's code of honor to that of the Samurai might be Mani's way of glorifying superstar Rajni in a movie that is remarkably short of Rajni's usual mannerisms. The evergreen tale of the king at war, and his beautiful queen who waits for him is the theme here, and Mani handles it beautifully. Moreover, the whole song is shot in the golden hues of sunrise or sunset, befitting a re-telling of the legend of Karna, son of the sun-god.

On a lighter note, poor Rajni's various hairstyles in this song must have contributed in no small vein to his current bald condition!

Kanmani... from 'Guna'

The tale of the deranged Guna who kidnaps his Abhirami could not make a dent at the the box-office. However, a decade later, the movie and its music is hailed as a classic. The other awesome BGM piece from the same movie almost edged out another entry in this list. The almost maniacal love that Guna exhibits toward his prisoner, and his claims that his love is so pure that is almost holy are all accentuated by the lyrics, Ilaiyaraja's tune and BGM, and of course, Kamal's acting. The entire song is about the girl setting tune to Kamal's verse, a concept that has been done before, but never to such spectacular effect.

Arabikatha: Review

2007-10-04T00:35:00.000-04:00

It was not that long ago that I lamented the apparent demise of Sreenivasan's talent. To the discerning viewer, his steady descent into mediocrity has been not only been alarming, but also more than a little sad. But with Arabikatha, Sreenivasan proves that there are still avenues that he has not explored as an actor.

It has been a long time since Malayalam cinema has seen a good political movie. By 'good', I mean sensible movies that attempt to address real issues with a semblance of sense, not the ones where the so-called superstars spout pages of dialogue, often laced with expletives in multiple languages. To Venu Nagavalli's splendid 'Lal Salaam' and the Sathyan-Sreeni combo's delightful 'Sandesham', we can now add Lal Jose's 'Arabikatha' too.

'Cuba' Mukundan (Sreenivasan) is an earnest Communist party-worker , whose life is completely in tune with the ideologies preached by the party. His earnestness, however, ruffles the feathers of industrial bigwig Kunjunni (Jagathy, in yet another 'avatar') and upcoming part leader Karunan. Mukundan's naiveness makes him an easy target, and against his misgivings, he is forced to leave for Dubai. Arabikatha traces the journey of Mukundan from here on.

Dubai tests Mukundan in a way nothing in his hitherto life has prepared him for. Bourgeois CEOs call the shots here, and working / living conditions are pathetic. There is not much scope for protests either, as Mukundan finds out the hard way. Misled by friends, and cheated by the ones he comes to depend on, Mukundan learns the lessons of life the hard way. Three years later, the premature grey in Mukundan's moustache hints at the kind of hardships he has had to endure. A rather botched-up climax later, all's well that ends well, as they say.

Sreenivasan is the life and soul of this movie. There are the trademark digs at the Malayali's psyche, and a couple at the outdated ideologies of the Communist movement, yes. But what sets this performance apart from his latest ventures is that there is no attempt at buffoonery of any kind. Sreenivasan plays Mukundan straight, shorn of all his usual mannerisms, and comes out with what probably is a career-best performance. Toward the end, the amount of weariness and worldly wisdom he conveys is just right, and one can't help but root for the protagonist.

Lal Jose, along with Blessy, is one of the few filmmakers who's name carries with it the assurance of good cinema ('Rasikan' and 'Pattalam' were but minor aberrations, hopefully). He doesn't let one down here either. Great placement of scenes, a complete avoidance of slapstick comedy (though I wish he'd avoided Salim Kumar too, he's a misfit in the proceedings here), and most of all, the brilliance of casting Sreenivasan in the title role when a 'safe' choice like Jayaram / Dileep would have worked at the B.O too - all these aspects deserve praise of the highest order. Lal Jose is one of the few directors who's been successful in creating successfull and good commercial cinema without resorting to the 2 Ms, and he succeeds on all fronts here too. 'Arabikatha' is another feather in his cap.

Verdict: Eminently watchable.

Darwin's Theory of Evolution

2007-09-09T23:22:00.000-04:00

Proved thru Tamil cinema!!!

RGV Ki Aag: Review

2007-09-07T21:26:00.000-04:00

'RGV Ki Aag' is not merely Sholay desecrated upon; it also marks the decline of RGV the director, who used to be rubbing shoulders with our finest. But with the soulless Nishabd and worse, the insipid Aag, one is left yearning for the director who gave us such gems as Satya and Company. Comparisons with the evergreen classic apart, Aag fails even as a solitary venture.

Nisha Kothari - whose ass hogs a major chunk of the movie, second only to Bachchan's ugly mug - displays such abominable acting abilities whenever she has a scene that you yearn for the camera to shift to her assets instead - this is one aspect of RGV's direction I just cannot criticize, for anything is better than seeing her try hard to enact the ebullient persona of Basanti that Hema Malini, for all her limited acting skills, made her own. The wisest career decision she could make is to shift to porn movies, since that's all she's cast for in normal movies anyhow.
Marks: 0/10 (Was tempted to give her a 0.5 for the skin-display, but...)

Sushmita Sen, who replaces Jaya Bhaduri, does try hard - too hard, in fact. However, her part is too noble and self-righteous to make one sympathise with her. The lovely romantic angle between Bachchan and her in the original is mutilated by RGV here, and its carcass is then burnt with petrol, and the ashes are then flushed away... you get the picture. It is to Sushmita's credit that she never goes overboard, thank heavens for small mercies.
Marks: 3/10

Urmila, never far away from RGV's couch, sorry cast, is thankfully relegated to the Mehbooba number. The oomph factor is fading fast, its probably time for her to hang up her boots and get married. And WTF was RGV thinking of when he weaved in that inane Kabhi Kabhi bit, and then the flirtation between her and Babban? The man needs a reality check, and fast.
Marks: 1/10

Ajay Devgun, who has a reputation of being one of Bollywood's more reliable actors, does his cause no good here. He has no comic ability to speak of, and was never strong on charm anyhow. Consequently, he is one of the biggest misfits in the movie. The roguish charm that so endeared Dharam's Veeru to us is completely absent here. He has no chemistry with his partner at all, and consequently their friendship is a yawn. All he does well here is ogle Nisha's boobs, and touch her up. And please, Ajay, drag your ass to a dentist and get your gutka-covered teeth cleaned.
Marks: 1/10

Prashant Raj, who gets to replace Bachchan, has only two things in common with his illustrious predecessor, and those are his long legs. He's got a nice deep voice too, but two legs and a semi-baritone doth not an actor make. Hope he catches the next flight to Los Angeles!
Marks: 1/10 (gets 1 only because he is not as annoying as Kothari).

Rajpal Yadav, whose annoying high-pitched cackle makes you want to thrown him down a well, would do better not to accept such inane stuff. He is a rather decent actor, and it is a shame watching him throw it away.
Marks: 1/10 (again, gets a 1 sorely when compared to Nisha)

Sushant Singh can consider his debt to RGV (for Jungle) repaid with interest. He tries his hardest to exude menace, and might even have succeeded if he had a couple of scenes to himself. But alas, RGV is too infatuated with the legend of Gabbar to even consider granting some footage to other actors.
Marks: 2/10

Mohanlal is one of the few sane things in the movie. The flashback with him is the one credible sequence in the movie, and his scenes with Bachchan crackle with electricity. He manages to infuse some semblance of dignity to the proceedings whenever he is on screen, despite the terrible accent. Whoever had the bright idea that Mohanlal should have that stupid beard (he had no fingers you know, hence he couldn't shave), thank god he didn't think of how he would wash his bum after taking a shit. Despite hackneyed dialogue, bad makeup, a terrible Holi song where he is actually made to dance like a woman, and very little footage, he is easily the best thing about this movie.
Marks: 5/10

Bachchan, who is toward the fag end of his illustrious career, hams like a crazy coot. He hisses, cackles, rolls his eyes menacingly, guffaws with menace, drones on about America and Iraq, and even digs his nose. Well, with the kind of shoddy performance he's put in here, even scratching his balls or even the crevice of his ass wouldn't have helped. This is a textbook as to how Gabbar ought not to have been played - the performance, if you can call it that, is much more suited for a children's movie. All the makeup in the world - the fuss about the different colored eyes, or the scarred nose - cannot disguise a shockingly bad performance from Bachchan. The one thing he gets right is when his eyes, otherwise dull, light up when he gets a new victim to torture / kill, in keeping with the attempted sociopath personality. No menace, no fear, no acting chops.
Marks: 1/10

RGV gets everything wrong here, whether its controlling the overacting Big B, granting some decent footage to the few actors who do their job well, or at least maintaining some decorum to the proceedings. He, along with Bachchan and Urmila, is also singularly responsible for defiling one of the most beautiful bits of poetry in Indian cinema ever. If he'd paid half the attention the the screenplay that he does to Kothari's ass out here, the movie might even have been watchable. Alas, it was not to be.
Marks: 0/10

Sreenivasan: An Underrated Genius, But Past His Prime?

2007-08-06T20:29:00.000-04:00

Recently, I made the mistake of watching a Mallu version of 'Analyze That', 'Bhargava Charitham 4-am Ghandam' starring Sreenivasan and Mammootty. To say that the move was terrible would be an understatement. Although the dialogues did bear a passing resemblance to the Sreenivasan of yore, most often they were not even remotely funny. One fears that in his zeal to show off his newfound comic skills, Mammooty is descending into alarming levels of mediocrity. Though he does try to top it off with a handful of sensible movies every year, doing such roles affects not only his image, but also his stature as an actor. As for Sreenivasan, he's become too old to carry off his unique brand of comedy any longer. And - why doesn't anyone get this - we DO NOT want to see 50-year old men dressed up in shorts, sleeveless shirts, and designer outfits - and this is not directed just at Mammootty either. Stuff the opulence, and give us a decent story, for chrissake!

Its really a pity that intelligent, 'thinking' cine-people like Sreenivasan fail to keep up with time, and come out with such nonsense. His screenplays were responsible for some of the landmark films of the 1980s, the golden period of Malayalam cinema. Indeed, looking back, Sreenivasan was pretty much to Malayalm cinema, what Hrishikesh Mukherjee was to Bollywood. Looking forward to better cinema from this underrated genius, here's a list of the movies why I regard him as one of the best talents of Malayalam cinema.

Varavelpu (Welcome): Notwithstanding other popular movies from the Sathyan Anthikkad - Mohanlal - Sreenivasan trio, this is most probably their best collaboration IMO. The script by Sreenivasan traces the journey of a Gulf-returned Mohanlal who tries hard to eke out a living in a Communist-infested Kerala by running a private bus. Laced with subtle humor, great all-round performances, and a tight screenplay that never veers too far from reality, this was a gem of a movie. Sadly, it is shortly to be remade in Hindi (read destroyed) by a Priyadarsan crony, with Govinda in the lead.

Vadakku Nokki Yanthram marked the directorial debut of Sreenivasan. Although the movie was interspersed with his characteristic self-effacing wit and deadpan dialogs, the tale of an average-looking guy with an inferiority complex getting married to a beautiful girl was Malayalam cinema's first intentional black comedy, and hit a chord with audiences everywhere. Sreenivasan, through his penchant for self-directed sarcasm and ridiculous situations, depicted the misgivings of an average man beautifully here. Main, Meri Pathni Aur Woh was directly inspired from this movie, and it boasted of a terrific performance by another supremely talented actor, Rajpal Yadav.

Nadodikattu (The Wandering Wind): When one talks of the Mohanlal-Sreenivasan combination, this would in all probability be the first movie that one remembers. The characters of this hilarious rags-to-riches tale - be it the innocent Dasan-Vijayan duo, the paranoid villain Ananthan Nambiar, Gafoorkka who runs a 'yatch' to the 'Gulf', or the hired killer Pavanayi - are still fresh in our minds, despite the movie being almost 3 decades old. This has Sreenivasan at his vintage best - the acerbic wit, the social commentary, and the dig at the typical Malayalee egotism are all there.

Sandesham (Message) was political satire at its best. Apart from the recent Vadivelu-starrer 'Imsai Arasan...' and the Kundan Shah classic 'Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron', I cannot recall a single political satire in our cinema (forgive me if I am not conversant with regional language cinema apart from Malayalam and Tamil). On the pretext of displaying oneupmanship between two brothers (who belong to rival political parties), Sreenivasan launches a scathing indictment on both the political parties of Kerala. Its a tremendously funny film, but nonetheless accurate and socially relevant too.

Chinthavishtayaya Shyamala (Thoughtful Shyamala) was Sreenivasan's second attempt at direction. Audience expectations were high after his acclaimed previous outing, and he didn't let them down either. The opening scene of the movie, where in a scathing indictment of Kerala's electricity board, the dialogue likens electricity to a stray cat, set the mood of the movie. It would perhaps be irreverent to suggest that the irresponsible husband is a manifestation of Lord Rama's inability/refusal to fulfil his responsibilities toward his wife, but the title of the movie certainly seems to slyly suggest so. The movie's harsh indictment of ashram-life at the expense of familiar responsibilities was another hint in this direction, IMO. Once again, the movie was a tremendous success at the BO, and critically acclaimed as well.

Thalayanamanthram (Feminine Wile) saw Sreenivasan take on the universal topic of envy and feminine wile. Urvashi puts in one of her best performances as the middle-class wife. It was to her credit that a character who could have easily come off as a shrew, was instead portrayed as a normal woman with her share of aspirations and failings. Urvashi displayed razor-edge control in not letting her character slip into farce. Unfortunately, it is this control that Urvashi seems to have lost, as can be seen in her recent outings like Achuvinte Amma, and more noticeably in Madhuchandralekha.

Vellanakalude Naadu (The Land of White Elephants) was directed by Priyadarsan at a time when he was still a competent director. Devoid of frills (save the hilarious crowd-pleasing bulldozer sequence), the movie narrates the plight of a road contractor (superbly enacted by Mohanlal) in Kerala. For a change, Sreenivasan plays a serious role - that of the diligent social worker whose family has been killed due to a bridge collapsing - and excels in it too. The Priyan - Mohanlal - Sreenivasan combo duplicated pretty much the same formula in Midhunam, but could not recreate the same magic.

Oru Maravathoor Kanavu (A Maravathoor Dream) had debutante director Lal Jose riding on the front of a powerful screenplay by Sreenivasan, and a bravura performance by Mammootty. However, it was evident that here was a skilled director who showed promise. In a departure from his earlier screenplays, Sreenivsan stepped away from the traditional Malayalam milieu, and built characters based on the TN-Kerala border. He also had Mammootty enact one his most successful comedic roles - his dialogues, with a sarcastic Christian tinge, were outstanding.

Udayananu Tharam (Udayan is the Star) does not hold a candle to the best works of Sreenivasan. However, the sarcasm here was directed at the bigwigs of the Malayalam film industry, and once again, that was a first. Sreenivsan took open digs at our superstars, be it at Mohanlal's business ventures, or Mammootty's penchant for dressing up in designer clothes. Most of his barbs, however, were directed at self-proclaimed superstar Dileep. This was venomous, and the audiences lapped it up. The movie is being remade in Tamil, and Hindi - how successful these remakes would be remain to be seen.

Big B, Vinodayathra: Review

2007-07-28T23:52:00.000-04:00

'Big B' reads almost like a James Hadley Chase novel - I mean, a renegade gang of orphans set out to get their revenge against the murderer of their surrogate mom, is typically something that Chase, Lee Child or even Louis L'Amour would write. D'ebutant director Amal Neerad is obviously inspired by his mentor RGV, at least insofar as technique is concerned. However, the premise of the movie is as stale as they come.

Social worker Nafisa Ali is brutally murdered on the streets of Kochi, murkier than the Mumbai of RGV's 'Satya'. Four of the many street urchins she has helped nurture are determined to avenge her death. Leading them is Bilal, the Big B, a dark, brooding killer who is apt only to mumble - that too in monosyllables. The role doesn't ask much of Mammootty, merely his best impersonation of Ajay Devgan. For while, the movie promises an interesting twist, but soon meanders off to the archetypal good vs. evil finale, where good overpowers evil, and all is well again.

As noted earlier, the basic good vs evil theme is certainly redundant, and there is nothing remarkable about the performances either (although a couple of the newcomers are endearing, and show promise). What eventually saves the movie is the fresh directorial style of Amal Neerad. From the way the shots have been framed, to the song picturizations and fights, the director leaves no stone unturned to showcase his capabilities. The dialogues are crisp - and for a change there are no Sanskrit hymns in the background, nor does the hero spout endless pages of dialogue in English, Sanskrit, Hindi etc. Things are kept simple, and in the end its a decent outing that at least doesn't make one cringe.

Sathyan Anthikkad, veteran film-maker, teams up with aspiring superstar Dileep to churn out yet another sample of his brand of feel-good cinema, named 'Vinodayathra' (Picnic) this time. Stale theme, lacklustre direction, terrible song picturizations, music that ranges from bad to okay - this movie showcases all that is wrong with today's Malayalam cinema.

Dileep, in yet another variation of his boy-next-door persona, is a wayward MCA graduate, who is irresponsible, irritating and exasperating all at once. One feels for his brother-in-law (a splendid Mukesh), who is forced to house Dileep. Of course, Meera Jasmine plays one of those do-gooder girls who, despite numerous setbacks (and I do mean numerous - an ailing dad, a non-wedded mother as a sister, bank loans - its quite a big list), refuses to give up. Of course, by the end of the movie, Dileep ends up spellbound by the fighting qualities of Meera, and turns over a new leaf.

The performances are alright; of course, it probably helps that each of the actors have done these roles a million times before. You can actually predict each scene, including when the songs are about to come etc. If Mukesh and Innocent manage to rise above their roles, its just because of what good actors they are. All the other technical aspects of the movie are taken care of, so that nobody can complain. One senses that Ilaiyaraja is merely going through the motions here; so is Meera, normally a highly competent actress.

Verdict: Avoid the movie unless someone gifts you a free copy (and think twice before you watch it even then). Btw, the young actress who plays Mukesh's sister looks like she has the makings of a very competent and attractive heroine; hopefully the two Ms (and Dileep) would have retired by then.

Ek Chalis Ki Last Local: Review

2007-07-04T14:03:00.000-04:00

At last, someone has tried to copy the spirit of Tarantino's cinema, rather than the scenes verbatim. Sanjay Gupta could learn a lesson or three from his namesake, debutante director Sanjay Khanduri. He pays tribute to a host of movies, ranging from Tarantino's own Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction (it even manages to do both tributes in a single shot), to Natural Born Killers, Oldboy, DDLJ, Gireftaar and even pays homage to Nana Patekar and Rajnikanth.

The story reads a bit like Chameli, about a young man stuck in the night who accosts a call-girl. But that's where the similarities end, and the creatures of the night step out. This has got to be the wierdest (and one of the greatest) set of characters in a desi movie ever - whores, gamblers, pimps, serial killers, encounter cops - you name them and you got them here. I mean, a Nana Patekar-like autowallah, a friend resembling the protagonist of Oldboy, a trigger-happy couple roaming around in a cab akin to Natural Born Killers, the Rajni-cop persona from Gireftaar / Andha Kanoon, the mob-men in the car whose gun accidentally goes off (Pulp Fiction) and shoots off the ear of a guy (Reservoir Dogs) - great characters, and tributes galore. Yeah - this is certainly my kind of cinema. And wait, there's a lot more, but giving away more details would destroy the movie for you.

What I didn't like: the whole rona-dhona bit about how Neha became a call-girl 'coz of her ailing mom, and I felt that the editing could have been a lot more crisper. Also, though it was certainly courageous of Abhay to accept this role, and he pulls it off rather well too, he still does look very effeminate in certain scenes, and he has to cut that out pronto. However, that said, he does deserve full credit for understanding and lending support to such a whacked-out screenplay.

Go watch this now, and let's hope new filmmakers like this emerge in regional language films as well (especially in Malayalam cinema!).

The Sensuous Craft of Bharathan

2007-06-19T23:08:00.000-04:00

Sometime last week, Qalandar posted one of my old articles in Naachgaana, a site that I check very often (even though it is sometimes a bit too pro-Bachchan for my liking). Needless to add, I loved it! Moreover, I was gratified to know that my post might even have helped someone discover some great Malayalam movies. Very clearly, this is the inspiration for this post - Thx Qalandar, and Naachgaana.

Like Padmarajan, Bharathan was one of the most talented directors Malayalam cinema has ever had. The 1980s, what is considered the golden age of Malayalam cinema, saw both these stalwarts at their prolific, brilliant best. However, while Padmarajan wrote his own screenplays, and is widely considered to be a better screenplay writer than a director, Bharathan depended on several eminent screenplay writers like Padmarajan himself, MT, Lohitadas etc for his best works - mostly set in a relatively minor or unknown community. Here I present a top 10 from Bharathan's oeuvre, in no particular order.

Thazhvaram (The Valley), starring Mohanlal and Salim Ghouse, is best described as a curry-western set in rural Kerala. Mohanlal plays a hardened veteran relentlessly in track of the murderer of his wife, and Ghouse, who more than holds his own against the brilliant Mohanlal, is the hunted. This cat 'n' mouse game is fascinatingly directed, and is surprisingly enough an underrated movie. Its almost like a Clint Eastwood movie, really, except that the ethos is so different (and there's not much herogiri in this movie, of course). Not surprisingly, the screenplay was by the veteran novelist and screenplay writer M.T.Vasudevan Nair. This is one of the few Indian films I have seen that treats the landscape almost like a separate character.

Oru Minnaminunginde Nurunguvettam (Speck of light from a glowworm) is the movie that almost snatched away the best actor trophy from Kamal Hassan, for no less a movie than Nayakan. Nedumudi Venu delivered the performance of a lifetime here, as the retired schoolteacher into whose complacent life a young girl drops in. He and his wife come to love her like a daughter, but, as they say, fate is sometimes cruel. Veteran actress Sharada too delivers a fine performance (though I felt that she overacted in quite a few scenes), but Venu was quite impeccable here. Unfortunately, after this movie the actor got typecast into playing the same character over and over again. It is to the actors' and director's credit that a movie like this, which could have been so easily become irritating and annoying, is natural and down-to-earth from start to end. Truly, a magnificent movie that has aged really well too.

Other than the celebrated Chemmeen, the only other movie that depicts the unique relationship between the sea and her fishermen is Bharathan's Amaram (Rudder). In a tale that reads almost like a fable, and is definitely semi-inspired by The Old Man and The Sea, this movie has all the makings of a modern classic. Mammootty stars here, as a rustic fisherman who speaks the uncouth slang of the fishermen, as if he were born to it. Rumor has it that Priyadarsan had plans to do this in Bollywood, with AB - thankfully, they never got around to it (Nana would be a good choice though!!). The scenes picturized inside the sea, where Mammootty lampoons a shark, gets sucked in by a whirlpool etc deserves special mention.

For the splendid Vaishali, Bharathan teamed up with M.T.Vasudevan Nair yet again. Always known for the delicacy with which he would approach sexuality, Bharathan boldly made the erotic Vaishali, and made it work too. This time the renowned writer opts for a slice of the epic Mahabharatha, but twists it around, giving an insignificant character the central protagonist of the movie. The artwork here is magnificent, both in depicting the the starkness of the drought, and the furiousness of the thunderstorm. The acting of the lead pair is definitely the weakest link here, but the climax more than makes up for it.

Kathodu Kathoram (Ear to Ear) is one of those movies that has the distinctive 'Bharathan touch' written all over it. Mammootty stars here, as an semi-autistic young man, who is taken in by the central woman protagonist, Saritha, who herself is a victim of a bad marriage. Set in Northern Kerala's distinctive Christian milieu, the film boasted of some great music, excellent camerawork, and some great acting by the whole cast. Such movies just don't get made anymore, sadly.

Paalangal (Rails) is in this list because of one performance - Gopi, popularly known as Bharath Gopi, delivers an outstanding account of himself as the intimidating railway employee who lusts after his bereaved sister-in-law. Nedumudi Venu plays the weakling who falls in love with the heroine rather well, but its Gopi's smouldering performance here that really raises the tempo here. Sadly, he did not do many more roles after this, after being struck down by a paralytic attack.

Kaattathe Kilikkoodu (Nest in the Breeze) has Gopi in yet another demanding role - here he plays the eccentric Prof. 'Shakespeare' Krishnapilla, who is tempted by a young Revathi to stray. Of course, his family isn't very happy, and the fact that Revathi does this just to spite her boyfriend escapes the professor. This is another movie that is elevated by Gopi's magnificent performance. Bharathan is successful in depicting how quickly a so-called happy marriage can unravel.

Ormakkayi (In Memory Of) features the underrated Madhavi, who despite several noteworthy performances to her credit, never finds herself amongst the best actresses of her generation. In Ormakkayi, she delivers a humdinger of a performance as the hapless girl married to a deaf 'n' dumb sculptor (Gopi yet again). This is another move which clearly has the 'Bharathan touch', whether it be in the beautiful creations of the sculptor, or in the way the whole flashback unravels.

Both Venkalam (Bronze) and Chamayam (Greasepaint) feature two of the best character actors in Malayalm cinema today - Murali and Manoj.K.Jayan. Sadly, today the former is resigned to doing only arthouse movies, while the latter rarely gets a chance to exercise his creative muscles. These actors have amazing chemistry, especially in Chamayam, which Bharathan manages to capture perfectly onto celluloid. Both these movies are strictly ensemble pieces; yet they show the ace-director at the peak of his craft.

Last, but definitely not the least, we have Kamal Hassan's modern classic Thevar Magan (Son of the Chieftain), inspired by the relationship between Vito and Michael Corleone from Mario Puzo's evergreen Godfather. The screenplay is by Kamal himself, but the deft touches here and there (especially in the pre-interval portion) show off the flair of the director. Just compare Viraasat to this, and you can actually feel the difference- the magic is clearly missing in the remake.

A Phenomenon Called Sivaji

2007-06-18T22:42:00.000-04:00

First things first: I am not a Rajni fan; in fact I am a self-confessed admirer of Kamal. However, that is not to say that I don't enjoy Rajni movies - I think Padaiyappa, Annamalai, and to a lesser extent, Baasha, were some of the finest examples as to how a masala movie should be made. However, that does not mean that the superstar is not beyond criticism; I hated what they made of that Mohanlal classic Manichitrathazhu, which was very clearly a case of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. There are some fanatics out there who praise every Rajni movie out there, even if its of the same standard as any other Suryah or TR movie - I don't conform to that POV. Rajni is the biggest star there is, and a superstar movie should look and feel like one.

The story? Seriously? You shouldn't be reading this then, mate!

My trip to the NJ theatre was laborious, to say the least. Bogged down by traffic, we reached the theatre exactly when the interval started. Although most of the reviews seemed to suggest that I hadn't missed much, it was still a terrible waste of money. However, I certainly wasn't going to come all the way again just to catch the first half, so I settled down in the front row, alongside my wife who was giving me the kind of looks that suggested that I was grounded for approx 2 weeks!

The first thing that struck me was the atmosphere - there was none. Which was very strange for a Rajni movie on the third day - even in the US (I mean, this was NJ for chrissakes!). Earlier I'd promised Smitha that watching a Rajni movie in a theatre was a great experience; her countenance somehow didn't make me believe that I'd be watching any more movies in a theatre in the near future!

The positives first: Rajni is a little less nimble on his feet, but his charisma clearly hasn't waned. This is quite easily the best he has been presented, and its fun to have him wear some good clothes for a change. And there are not many stupid scenes here (like the bull scenes from Padaiyappa, for instance), which I, for one, was thankful for. The Athiradikalam picturization, the whole tonsured look (and I really did dig the whole Morpheus-like outfit in the finale), and the reference to MGR really worked for me. And for the record: Shreya/Shriya is the hottest thing to have hit TN after the agninathathram, she was absolutely curvealicious! The action scenes were awesome, the most stylish I have seen in a Rajni movie for sure. And the whole mimicry - voice recognition track really cracked me up.

Ok, now the brickbats: Shankar once again resorts to the corruption angle. Yeah, this time its money laundering - big difference! Doesn't this guy have any other tales to tell? Same old dosai, different batter is all. After Jeans, Boys and Anniyan, Sivaji is certainly another directorial letdown from Shankar. And Suman has got the be the wimpiest villain ever. At the jail scene, where he pleads saying he is so sensitive and all that crap, I was in hysterics. And to think they approached AB, Mohanlal etc for this role - no wonder they turned it down. I also did not like the picturization of the Sahara song, esp those extras dressed like fairies flapping away to glory! Sivaji, without Rajni, is a huge, huge letdown from Shankar. Heck, even Anniyan, corny though it was, had a more cohesive screenplay. Rajni salvages the movie to a great extent, but not completely (at least not for a non-fan like me). Shankar needs to select his scripts with a lot more care, and avoid vigilantism like the plague.

God's Own Quandary

2007-06-13T17:38:00.000-04:00

I was born and brought up in Thrissur, barely 20km away from the famous Guruvayur temple. I have been visiting the temple from my childhood - I even got married there 10 months ago. Which is why the latest controversy about the temple piqued my interest. As always, Prem Panicker does a neat job of covering all the angles, and as usual I agree with most of the conclusions he has reached here.

The thanthri acted kinda like Darrell Hair - strictly within the letter of the law, but perhaps not quite upholding the spirit - and ended up with a result that he might not have expected, nor desired. Anyway, the temple committee has decided to take another look at its customs, and hopefully, unlike the BCCI they will reach a set of norms that make some sense. I guess it would be too much to expect them to open the temple for all and sundry!

Uttharam (The Answer)

2007-05-16T20:50:00.000-04:00

'Uttharam' was a movie that I had seen when I was in school, and yet I remember that the movie fascinated me. I'd been waiting for a chance to re-visit it, and when the opportunity occurred, I grabbed it with both hands.

On the face of it, 'Uttharam' is much like the very, many investigative-series movies that adorn (and litter, in many cases) Mammootty's career. The wife of a close friend Matthew (Sukumaran) takes her own life, and upon his entreaties, Balu (Mammootty) takes it upon himself to dig deeper into the reasons for her sudden decision. And sudden it did seem, for by all accounts Selena (Suparna) lead a comfortable life, had a husband who doted on her. and was a noted poet highly regarded in all literary circles. The camera faithfully follows Balu as he goes about unraveling the mystery behind the untimely death of Selena.

The adapted screenplay by the renowned M.T.Vasudevan Nair elevates the movie to another realm altogether. 'Uttharam' does feature many of his pet muses, like the throwaway references to the displaced feudal patriarch (Sukumaran, in this instance), and the well-read, modern but nostalgic Mallu male (Mammootty). However, unlike some other movies scripted by MT (Midhya for instance), this does not form the central premise of the movie. Purportedly inspired by a Daphne Du Maurier short story (I haven't been able to find out which one, but its fairly obvious if you know what you are looking for). 'Uttharam' has a very carefully crafted screenplay, and it does the reputation of the great writer no injustice.

**** Spoilers Ahead *****

Mammootty plays Balu straight, as a man with no roots anywhere. There are several hints as to this aspect of his personality - conversations about the frequent switching of jobs and cities, his wandering nature etc. All he really cares about is this family, really. Balu's initial hesitancy to accept the task of prodding into Selena's untimely demise, and his later sagaciousness in not giving up are subtly brought out by the actor. The only odd note in this performance is the scene he creates at the orphanage. Mammootty reverts to type there, and the scene sticks out like a sore thumb.

Parvathy plays the disturbed friend of Selena. Although she is introduced as a normal character, it soon becomes clear that she is a bit strange, and very much a loner. However, the reasons for this demeanor come out much later in the movie (though not as much of a surprise). The actress is strictly ok here; I felt that Parvathy could have played her character in a much more enigmatic fashion.

Suparna is hopelessly miscast as Selena. For one, her escapades in 'Vaishali' are much too familiar to accept her as an intellectual of any kind. Moreover, she doesn't look the part either. However, the screenplay wisely decides to just speak about her, rather than show a direct flashback. This is much like the technique adapted in Nelson Demille's 'The General's Daughter', and is surprisingly effective. Despite the actress, you do empathize with the character, which is a phenomenal achievement of sorts.

The biblical allusions in the movie really work, and there are quite a few in the movie. The reason for the suicide hardly strikes one as superficial, despite the central premise being flimsy - full credit to the screenplay-writer, and the director. There are a few loopholes (where would you find a schoolgirl who believes in immaculate conception in this time and age, even if she is the overtly religious daughter of a priest?), but they really are largely ignorable by the time you reach the finale of the movie. A must-watch for lovers of good cinema.

Review: The Namesake

2007-04-06T18:25:00.000-04:00

Filming a good novel is more often than not an extremely tough act. For one, you've got to decide what parts of the book you're gonna keep, and what parts you're gonna omit - this is a really tough balance to preserve, as upcoming filmmaker Gautham Menon undoubtedly found in his latest outing. And then, you've got to get the right actors for all the parts too; a singular mistake could well ruin the efforts of everybody else.

Mira Nair does a great job of adapting Jhumpa Lahiri's novel to screen. I thought she got both the above aspects right, though she had a bit of luck with the latter. I mean, Nair was originally about to cast Rani and Abhishek, for chrissakes. Thankfully, better sense prevailed, and we have the wonderful pair of Tabu and Irfan instead. And I do mean absolutely, spectacularly, wonderful - both of them, especially Irfan, elevate the movie from a mere realistic NRI diaspora movie to a thoughtful, caring look at the lifespan of a couple. Kal Penn is alright, I guess, he seems to do everything right, but I thought his performance didn't have 'soul', whatever little thing that it is that seperates the truly great actors from the rest.

Mira's not at her best here though - this lacks the languid fluidity of, say, a Salaam Bombay, or even a Monsoon Wedding. I mean, you can feel her trying to tug at your heartstrings in some of the scenes, like the one where Tabu lugs around a bag of laundry in icy Manhattan, or even the one where a stoic Irfan receives the news of the demise of his FIL, and then gently holds Tabu befoe breaking the news to her. However, Irfan and Tabu pull off quite a few splendid scenes, pulling back the move from a 'what-if' to a little gem. For example, there's this friggin' awesome scene, where Irfan tells his son about the origin of his name - his eye actually glistens with a teardrop that threatens to fall, but never does (somehow, this scene so reminded me of Manoj Bajpai's self-directed tirade at Raveena's bedsite, in the much-neglected 'Shool'). There were little snippets everywhere, like Irfan's and Tabu's last scene together at the airport, Tabu trying on his shoes, the entire Taj Mahal routine etc.

Ultimately, IMO, the movie belongs to Irfan. I mean, after watching the movie, he's the most poignant thing you remember about the movie. And this is despite the fact that the two most important roles in the movie belong to Tabu and Kal Penn. Also, this is such a departure from Irfan's regular normal Nana-like, dialogue-spouting venomous characters (like in Haasil, Maqbool etc), that I'm glad he got a chance to do such a role in a mainstream film like this. Hopefully, this should mean that he gets a better variety of roles, and doesn't get stuck in the same rut (like Paresh Rawal has).

Review: Open Your Eyes

2007-03-25T19:47:00.000-04:00

I picked up Alejandro Amembar's 'Open Your Eyes' (Abre Los Ojos) from Netflix, since it looked sorta like 'Road' from RGV's Factory (whatever happened to them...they've been more run-of-the-mill than even Karan Johar for sometime now!). I mean, the hero's miffed, deranged ex-girlfriend offers him a lift that he never should have accepted - sounds similar, doesn't it? But o-boy, was I mistaken!

'Open Your Eyes' is as close to a mind-fuck as you can get. If you thought 'Eternal Sunshine...' played games with your mind, wait till you see this. The director takes one of our most common filmi cliches, the horrific dream which the hero suddenly snaps out of, and weaves a teasing, tantalizing tale out of it. I really can't say any more about the plot, without divulging the crux of the movie. However, take it from me, this is an exhilarating movie experience - sorta like watching 'Matrix' for the first time, minus the mind-blowing action sequences.

Eduardo Noregia does a terrific job as the protagonist. He is never over-the-top, and plays his role with just the right amount of frustration and menace. Penelope Cruz, as always, is a treat to watch on screen (especially topless!). But the true hero of this film is the director Alejandro Amembar, who's also credited for the writing. He's weaved together the psychological thriller and sci-fi genres seamlessly, and magnificently at that.

The movie bears quite some similarity to our own B&W classic 'Yakshi', starring Sathyan-maash (as he is popularly known) in one of his more famous performances. The psychology of somebody who's face is grotesquely mutilated, and their attitude toward sympathy (especially from women) is quite similar in both these movies. There are other similarities too, but I can't give those away without divulging the plot. Of course, the Malayalam movie is a lot more melodramatic, and it hasn't aged tremendously well. However, 'Open Your Eyes' gives us an idea as to how 'Yakshi' could be remade as today. However, if the remake is gonna be like what Hema Malini made with Madhoo (I think the name of the movie was 'Mohini'), then I think they'd rather not even try.

Why I Don't Like Cats

2007-03-12T20:00:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know that cats are more of gal-pets; but my aversion toward cats goes even beyond the usual Mars-Venus theory. And believe it or not, as far as I remember, it all started after reading a darned Mandrake comic-book!! When I was a kid, Diamond comics weren't into the market yet (yeah, am a dinosaur). IMHO, Diamond comics destroyed some great comics like Phantom (and let's not even talk about that dumb movie), Mandrake etc with their loud, large drawings; the whole element of mystery was not there anymore. Diamond comics weaned me off Phantom, and made me gravitate toward Asterix instead (now, that is some comic book!).

Am veering off the topic here, let me get back. The Mandrake tale was kinda stupid, when you think about it. It dealt with how cats have a separate planet of their own, and how they all get together after midnight to share tidbits about their owners. Yeah, I know...crap of the highest order. But this stupid story made me realize two things:

a. Cats disappear after 10:00 PM. I have never seen a cat after 10... God knows where they all go, but they do all go somewhere. I mean, think of all the dogs that have chased you when you were sneaking back to the hostel after a movie...have you ever, ever seen a cat at that time? No, I bet!

b. Cats are not naturally affectionate. Sure, they purr when you fondle them, and they rub against your legs when they are hungry; but they don't really need humans!

So...why this post? Well, I hate to admit it, but....my wife saw a cat at 12:00 AM two nights ago. There goes myth #1 :(.

But.

CATS ARE NOT AFFECTIONATE !

Review: Pachaikili Muthucharam

2007-02-22T20:59:00.000-05:00

Whatever is the matter with Gautham Menon? Why on earth does he feel the need to alter a perfectly good plot in order to cater to the masses - especially when he seems to have gone to a lot of trouble to avoid doing just that? I mean, firstly he casts wholly against type - bulky mass hero Sarath Kumar as a happily married medical representative who gets beat up quite a lot, the anglicized-looking Andrea as the demure wife and the demure-looking Jothika as the fiery 'other woman'. Then he does a volte-face and makes Sarath Kumar turn into Nattamai all over again to bash up 25 goons. with a penknife through his palm. Decide what you want to do, dude!

I haven't watched 'Derailed' the movie, but I did enjoy the twists and turns in the novel by James Siegel. The best part of the book (for me) was all about how an average, everyday American Joe outthinks and outwits a criminal. Unfortunately, Gautham decides to ignore that very part of the book, and make it a match of brawn instead of brains - it is just this that sounds the death knell for the movie.

Sarath Kumar tries very hard to be as non-filmi as possible (though his masala origins give him away every now and then). In fact, this is probably a career-best performance for him, though I did think Arjun (from Shankar's 'Gentleman', 'Mudhalvan' etc) would have suited the character better. I thought Andrea was very cute, though. Jothika plays the role straight, unfortunately, instead of nuancing her performance. She goes through her trademark gamut of 'cute expressions' in the first half of the movie, and then toward the end snarls and bares her teeth in a manner very reminiscent of Chandramukhi. Milind Soman is adequate, but he doesn't really have anything much to do.

Harris Jayaraj really needs to give up doing BGM scores. His score is a huge disappointment, and one piece in particular was very much like a song from 'Kaakka Kaakka'. He scores with the songs, though, and the film theme itself is nice. Actually, his BGM scores sound great musically, they are just not very situational!

In the end, the failure of this film is the failure of the director. Perhaps I had my hopes set rather high, but 'Kaakka Kaakka' and portions of 'Vettaiyadu Vilaiyadu' had firmly established (to mymind) Gautham as a director of heaps of promise. However, this is definitely a step back from his previous movies. His villains are fast becoming stale, with the trademark long-haired and disheveled looks, dialogues mouthing Hindi obscenities etc. The song picturizations are sometimes atrocious (pray, what was that dream sequence doing in this movie?), and his hesitation to take that crucial footstep from the safety of mundane masala has been instrumental in the ultimate demise of this movie.

Monsters, Inc

2007-02-14T20:08:00.000-05:00

Nah, this is not a review of the film. Its more like an attempt to take a look at the various morbid books about killers I have enjoyed. Its one of my favorite genres, actually - the sort of books where an FBI team/sleuth and one or more serial killers play mind-games with one another.

Think serial-killer, and one of the most common images that comes to my mind is Hannibal Lecter. The author, Thomas Harris, has written 5 books in 30 years, 4 of them about Lecter - talk about obsession! Though I didn't enjoy the latest one all that much, 'Red Dragon', 'Silence of the Lambs' and 'Hannibal' pretty much make up for anything he may (not) write in the future. Hopkins has pretty much personified the role (and Kamal did a pretty good take on Lecter in 'Abhay' too), so I'd love to see what young Ulliel does to the character in the latest sequel.

Dennis Lehane is one of those authors whose books I regularly wait for. IMO its only a matter of time before he develops the sort of following, say, a Michael Connelly has. 'Gone, Baby Gone' was his first book that I read, and it just blew me away. Ever since, I have been an ardent fan. His investigators, Patrick and Angela, are great, great characters (his other books like 'Mystic River' are pretty awesome too). I just can't wait to get my hands on his next book.

Connelly, of course, can be depended upon to provide an enthralling read most of the time. In Harry Bosch and Terry McCaleb, Connelly has a set of great personalities to weave his tales with, and he seldom disappoints. I really have to thank my friend for introducing me to Connelly (I still consider 'The Poet' one of the best thrillers I have read); she seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth ever since her marriage, though.

The Agent Pendergast series by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child is not morbid, but the character itself is so enigmatic that the first few books (especially 'Still Life With Crows') great reads. Pendergast is obviously modeled upon Holmes, but he has a few additional quirks of his own that make him pretty endearing.

Cody McFayden has a great first book to his credit - heck, he got even a morbid veteran like me hooked. Agent Smoky Barrett - even the name has a peculiar ring to it, doesn't it - is as flawed a character is as they come. I mean, she's an ex-FBI agent who's been raped, and what's more (worse), has had her daughter raped in front of her. Her trauma and recovery, even without the cat-n-mouse hunt, makes 'Shadow Man' a great read.

I've grown weary of the Lincoln Rhyme series by Jeffrey Deaver. However, there's no denying that some of his books - especially 'The Bone Collector' and 'The Vanished Man' - are compelling reads. 'The Devil's Teardrop' is not a Rhyme novel, but its a terrific book too - about tracking down a criminal through handwriting analysis.

For the more discerning reader, I strongly recommend 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' by Lionel Shriver. Its a repelling, neverthless strangely fascinating book, as you try to unravel the motivation of a schoolboy to commit mass murder. The book is structured in the form of letters from Kevin's mom, who loathes him, to his dad, who dotes on him. Its a pretty long book, but a great book.

Apna Sapna Mani Mani

2007-01-30T21:28:00.000-05:00

But alas! Mani Ratnam, at least this time round, has compromised his vision to deliver the all-India hit that has proved so elusive in the past - which is not bad, just that its a little sad to see somebody like Mani Ratnam succumb to BO dictates too. He takes bits and pieces from some of his best movies, to tell us the fable of pioneer Gurukant Desai in his latest outing 'Guru'.

Guru, like Anandan of 'Iruvar', is a man of dreams. The difference is that Guru dreams of wealth, while Anandan dreams of politics and power. The similarities don't end here, though. Both Guru and Anandan marry a bold, forthright Aishwarya Rai; neither of them marry for love, at least in the beginning. Neither of them can resist the corrupting allure of power, despite claims to the effect that they do it all 'for the people'.

Guru, like Velu of 'Nayakan', believes that laws are made to be broken, especially if they do not make sense. Neither Guru nor Velu-Nayakan hesitate to intimidate adversaries by barging into their homes uninvited. Both of them stop short, however, from harming an enemy upon the uncomfortable realization that he's married to somebody they love.

Guru and Sujatha, like Shekhar and Shaila from 'Bombay', have twins.

Guru and Manikdas, like Anandan and Selvam from 'Iruvar', split after a clash of ideologies. However, they continue to be respectful of each other, despite being harsh critics of each other too.

Meenu, like Anjali, is expected to die shortly. Yet her enjoyment of life during her brief existence endears herself to everyone around her.

The Mallika number 'Mayya Mayya' serves much the same purpose as 'Nila Athu' from 'Nayakan'.

Despite all this rehashing, the film has some great moments - especially the scenes featuring Abhishek and his dad, Abhishek and Aish (sharing some sort of camaraderie at last, after some 5 films together) after they first come to Bombay, the ones with Abhishek and Mithun together, and of course all the scenes with Madhavan oir Vidya Balan anywhere in the frame.

Aishwarya, easily the weakest link of the cast, manages to hold her end together. Despite retaining her ingratiating voice and style of dialogue delivery, she delivers a competent performance. This is easily her best work after 'Iruvar'.

Mithun is a solid presence in the movie. There's nothing much that stretches the actor in him, really. But its a relief to see him in a normal character role, with a decent part to play (as opposed to stuff like 'Lucky').

Vidya Balan, though saddled with a half-baked role, is very, very competent. So is Madhavan, re-doing his intense act from 'Leysa Leysa'. The proposal scene between him and Vidya Balan was one of the best scenes of the movie.

In the end, this is an out-and-out Abhishek vehicle. I'm no fan of the guy (I didn't like him in 'Yuva', for instance), but here he's outdone himself. Apart from his odd posture at times, he's extremely good here (especially considering the fact that he's barely 20 films old). While it is true that he could have got a lot of the nuances like the accent, for one) correct, his expressions were spot-on. Most importantly, nowhere did it seem that any other contemporary actor might have done a better job.

ARR, surprisingly, disappoints. This is nowhere in the realm of his earlier collaborations with Mani. While 'Jaage', 'Ay Hairathe' and 'Tere Bina' are exquisite, the same cannot be said about the rest of the soundtrack. What's more, Mani disappoints with his picturizations - especially with that of 'Tere Bina', which seems straight out of 'Snehithane' from 'Alaipayuthe'.

In the end, 'Guru' is a disappointment for those who were expecting Mani at his vintage best; I do hope his 'Lajjo' with Aamir and Kareena has a more original screenplay. However - and this holds true especially for those who are not familiar with some of Mani's earlier movies - it most definitely is worth a watch for Abhishek's bravura performance.

The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

2007-01-23T18:05:00.000-05:00

A year ago, one might have forgiven somebody for thinking that Sourav Ganguly was down and out. For one, the verbose coach was against him. For seconds, the chief selector had stated equivocally that Ganguly would no longer be in contention for selection. And to add injury to insult, the best cricketing website of the country seemed to be in cahoot with the new captain and coach. And to absolutely rub salt into raw wounds, players were reprimanded if and when they spoke out in support of the ex-captain. To say the least, this was not the best way to treat one of the greats of the game. To stage a comeback, then, in the face of such opposition, and under such immense pressure, speaks volumes about the man's fortitude and mental toughness.

This time, the man has been diplomacy personified, and has let his bat do all the talking (though I'm sure he must have enjoyed it just a little bit when Chappell got slapped). In the past month, he's outscored all his teammates and ensured himself a berth in the One Day team, and that too in the opener's position that he used to bat best at. His 98 in the previous one-day match must definitely be, to borrow a phrase, the best 100 that never was.

With this comeback, the Prince of Kolkata graduates from being a mere great to a true legend of the game. And, if I may say so, in the current squad he's the only member who is playing like a legend.

Looking Back at 2006

2007-01-01T17:44:00.000-05:00

Yeah, we are in a whole New Year all over again...how time flies. Last year this time, I was busy preparing to go home for a much-deserved and much-awaited vacation - and of course, getting to know my would-be-wife better through phone calls, Yahoo Messenger and the then-introduced chat-thru-Gmail.

Biggest Change of 2006: Is that I'm now married, of course. Earlier, come the weekend I'd be out of boring Long Island in a flash. But now, traveling on the spur of the moment is no longer so easy (or cheap) as before.

Whirlwind Activity of 2006: Our travel to the US. Got married in Aug, came to Chennai in mid-Sept and played housie over there until mid-Oct. Then we had to pack up everything (including dispose off the stuff that we'd bought over there), and then head out to the US. There, we stayed in a hotel for a week (for which we had to do some mini-unpacking), after which we moved to an apartment (where large-scale unpacking began on an earnest note).

Best one-liner of 2006: After the marriage was all done, and everybody concerned had a big sigh of relief, there was a brief get-together function organized at my wife's place, with just close relatives attending. And of course, being a Mallu function, there was alcohol in abundance. I timidly - it being THE BIG OCCASION after all - expressed my desire for a small peg, to be met by the remark: Not Today, Alcohol Decreases Performance. My FIL's face was a sight to behold :).

Best Movies of 2006:
From what I've seen so far,
5. Pudhupettai (T) directed by Selvaraghavan. Showed us what imaginative direction was all about, especially considering that we have been badgered by gangster movies off late. Dhanush proved yet again that he's a decent performer, given the opportunity.
4. Thanmatra (M), directed by Blessy. The movie was certainly a bit on the slow side, with a definite similarity to Iris. However, some astounding acting by Mohanlal saw it through. Bachchan and Bhansali could take a cue from the movie as to what Alzheimers is !!
3. Lage Raho Munnabhai & Khosla Ka Ghosla. Simple down-to-earth movies, both of them. The former saw Munna & Circuit (trhey're fast becoming the Indian Asterix & Obelix, IMHO) reunite to give us a grand movie about Gandhigiri. The latter saw Anupam Kher giving a good performance after ages, plus Boman Irani in yet another wicked role (I'm a huge fan of this guy).
2. Omkara, directed by Vishal Bharadwaj. An adaptation of the Bard's Othello, the mainstay of the movie was certain Saif's turn as the despicable Langda Tyagi. Who'd have believed that this effeminate young man, labaled the official Anari of Bollywood, would end up chewing scenery?
1. Rang De Basanti, by Rakeysh Mehra. Aamir Khan, notwithstanding his age, mingles among a group of young college kids and proves yet again that he's easily one of the best actors amongst his generation. All the actors deliver, in fact, but this is a real triumph of screenplay. Even though the climax was weak, the movie made you do what nothing else had done in a long, long time: sit up.

Also notable were Being Cyrus, Woh Lamhe, Gangster and Pattiyal (T).

Best Actors of 2006:
Again, based on what I've seen so far:
5. Konkona Sen: Despite not having author-backed roles, she managed to shine in both Omkara and Yun Hota To Kya Hota. Easily the finest female actor of the current generation.
4. Kangana: For a debutante to deliver power-backed performances like Gangster and Woh Lamhe was nothing short of astounding. That the movies were tightly edited and directed well helpted add allure to her performances.
3. Arshad Warsi and Deepak Dobriyal: two of the best performances this year, in Lage Raho Munnabhai and Omkara respectively.
2. Saif: For an actor originally labeled effeminate to do a volte-face and deliver a knockout performance as a crude, uncouth villain is no mean feat. Saif managed to do that with panache this year. Lets hope he proceeds in the same vein.
1. Mohanlal: Thanmatra was a challenge for any actor, even for one of Lal's calibre. Mohanlal enacted the role of an ordinary man afflicted with Alzheimer's to perfection in a manner few others can even think of. Undoubtedly one of his career-best performances.

Others who delivered memorable performances this year were Dhanush (Pudhuppettai), Kamal Hassan (VV), Bharath (Pattiyal), Sanjay Dutt (Lage Raho..), Boman Irani (Lage Raho.., Khosla Ka..), Anupam Kher (Khosla Ka..), Shiney Ahuja (Woh Lamhe), Mallika Sherawat (Pyar Ke Side Effects), Kareena (Omkara), Ayesha Takia (Dor), Shreyas (Dor).

Worst Movies of 2006:
Too many to list; some of the more popular ones were:
5. KANK had Karan Johar trying to be different. Well dude, either don't try again, or try real harder.
4. Chandramukhi (T): to take a perfect screenplay like Manichitrathazhu and ruin it in such a spectacular manner deserves special accolades.
3. Malamaal Weekly would have made poor Ned turn over in his grave thrice over (the movie was a remake of the awesome Making Ned Divine). Can some association please ban Priyadarsan?
2. Krissh & Dhoom-2: Salvaged only by the biceps of Hrithik. They could have made Aish dumb (no, as in literally not speak) in Dhoom-2...would have helped considerably, you know!
1. Fanaa, despite a dream-cast, managed to actually bore you. This one was for imbeciles.

Comeback of 2006:
A certain Mr. Ganguly. He's made his way back into the Test team (and will into the ODI team too, if Sehwag's recent form is any indication) in style, and forced Mr. Chappell to eat humble pie. Let's see if he performs consistently now, though !!

Has been a long list, signing off for now. Wish all of you a happy & prosperous 2007.

My World This Week

2006-12-10T20:24:00.000-05:00

BOOKS:

Read a satisfying book after ages - debutant novelist Cody Mcfayden weaves a great tale of serial killers and an elite FBI taskforce in his 'Shadow Man'. Given that this is a theme done to death (and that too, by authors as gifted as Thomas Harris and Michael Connelly, just to name two offhand), the author does a fabulous job. Smoky Barrett, wounded in all senses of the word, makes for an endearing heroine - not quite a Clarice Starling, but pretty great alright. I'd recommend this book anyday, especially to fans of the genre.

MOVIES:

Watched 'Iruvar' once again, and fell in love with the movie all over again. For the few unfortunate moviegoers who haven't seen this movie yet, rent / buy a copy straightaway; somebody has also put up the whole damn movie on Google Videos, fyi. For one, its the best Mani Ratnam movie ever, IMO. And, it has Mohanlal at his awesome, vintage best (he really deserves to be called vintage now!) - whoa, what a performance! In addition, it has Prakash Raj matching Mohanlal scene for scene, in the second amazing performances of the movie.

The movie deals with the dynamics of the MGR-Karunanidhi duo. Hindsight is a great thing to have, and it shows in a lot of the dialogues (a young Karunanidhi remarking to actor MGR that the latter's entry into politics would really 'kill' him - ironic and sorta sad, since it did turn out to be sorta true). The weak link is mostly Jayalalitha's character, played by Aish Rai in her first ever screen appearance. She's better here than all her other screen appearances put together, but most of her screen-time appears to be heavily edited, and the character suffers as a result. There's another scene where Mani slyly hints that Jaya might have actually goaded MGR into raising arms against his old friend KNidhi. In the end, its virtually a school of acting from Lal - given a meaty role to sink his teeth into, Mohanlal shows once again why he's up there matching shoulders with the rest of them.

Kamal Hassan's 'Hey Ram' is another movie that has few things wrong with it. Except for some self-indulgent direction and poor graphics, this is a near masterpiece of a movie. Semi-fiction as a genre is rare in Indian cinema, and so is a film criticizing the policies of Gandhi (no matter how obliquely). 'Hey Ram' straddles both worlds with aplomb most of its running time.

Its a heavily researched movie, and the effort shows. Characters speak in their own mother-toungues most of the time (unlike a Kashmiri terrorist conveniently knowing Tamil, for instance), and are seldom black or white. Kamal himself is grey here - a mere puppet in the hands of Hindu hardliners such as Abhayankar (splendidly enacted by Atul Kulkarni). References abound - whether they be to Sarvarkar's controversial works (its not clear whether the movie refers to Hinduvta or Gandhi Gondhal), or to the Ramayana. Its intelligent movie-making here from Kamal, with little thought or compromise made in the name of entertainment. It might have affected the movie's BO prospects, but then so be it, I guess.

The performances are just awesome: Naseer as Gandhi is very convincing. Amjad Khan's son plays a rioting Muslim, and is pretty sleazy. Rani and Vasundhra Das do turn in good performances, but end up being remembered more as the target of Kamal's lecherous gropes. Atul Kulkarni steals the show from the lot of them with ease. Kamal is just apt acting-wise, but its as a screenplay writer and director that he is in complete control here.

Also watched Farhan Akhtar's and SRK's version of 'Don'. Of course, none of the current actors manage to match the charisma of their counterparts in the original (esp Kareena; SRK comes the closest); but still, watching the new hi-fi Don is fun alright. The action sequences are nicely done, SEL put in some nice numbers (the new numbers, that is; the remixes are not a shade on the originals) and the climax packs a tremendous punch (which the purists and staunch AB loyalists are gonna hate, obv).

Farhan manages to rein in Khan, and except for the horrible dialect he attempts as the normal guy, he comes out truimphs in and as the new-age Don. He is much more cruel and sadistic than AB ever could be; however, he's not a patch on AB in the style department. AB was naturally stylish, despite the horrible clothes he wore; SRK tries hard to be, and the effort shows sometimes.

'Jaaneman' was alright, I suppose. Salman struts his stuff, Akshay Kumar was affable for the most part (and I loved that goofy laugh of his) and Preity is her chirpy self. Director Shirish Kunder attempts to make a Broadway show out of the movie, and would have brought it off were it not for the stale, insipid music by Anu Malik (save the Ajnabi number). Also, for the record: its painful to hear Gulzar pen words like 'mera future hai tere hath mein' or some such crap. He should stick to his splendid Urdu-spouting self. Oh, and how I wish men would learn not to weep like they'd caught their dick in their zips or something; SRK started the trend, and now everybody seems to be following suit; terrinble I tell you!

'Vivaah' was too, too sweet for my taste. All the reverence and goodness made me want to puke. Amrita Rao (who I like) looks piteously at everybody, behaving like a pregnant cow; Shahid sports his 'I'm SRK' ruffled hairstyle and runs around like a loveshorn puppy - uck, in one word!

MUSIC:

Its ARR all the way here. First it was 'Munbe Vaa' from the Tamil flick 'Sillunu Oru Kaadhal', and now its the songs from the much awaited 'Guru'. As has been the norm, ARR seems to reserve his best stuff for Mani Ratnam.

'Tere Bina' is a gem of a number sung by ARR himself in a Sufi style, reminiscent of the great Nusret - its amazing how different Chinmayi sounds here (she sang the title track in 'Kannathil Muthamittaal'). 'Aiy Hairathe' is another splendid romantic ditty, that wouldn't have been out of place in the upcoming 'Jodha-Akbar'; its sung exquisitely by Hariharan and Alka. And then we have the soaring 'Jaago', which begins as a hush and soars into a full-blown extravagantly orchestrated piece.

Bleeding Bond

2006-11-23T19:02:00.000-05:00

You know what struck me 10 minutes into the new Bond flick, Casino Royale? Bond bleeds; he's almost human, dammit!

Daniel Craig plays a very different Bond from what's been the norm so far. Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan etc were mere clones of the sheer force of personality that Connery originally brought to the role (and pretty poor clones at that; I liked Connery so much that I've not seen most of the other Bond movies since, except for a couple of Roger Moore ones). Bond here is relatively new at being 007, and Craig brings alive Bond's desperation to succeed. Despite not looking the part, Craig has enough vitality to pull it off. I guess it helps that this Bond is not the suave, confident and one-liner spouting cool spy we are all so used to. Instead, Craig's Bond is a blonde athletic man with an arcebic wit to boot, who gradually grows into Bond (this might be something that the director Martin Campbell actually devised; if so, more credit to him).

The story is pretty simplistic; in a corny, corny scene Bond even wakes up from the dead (literally!). The Bond girl (Vesper) here is pretty alright, and the character provides some kind of insight into why Bond goes on to treat women the way he does. Its probably good that Aishwarya Rai was not picked for this role; she'd have fluttered her large eyelashes through the role. Eva Green does a neat job of it, bringing in quite a bit of intrigue to her character.

The bleeding-eyes villain is rather lame. The card-game, which could have been so good, is very poorly done. The action scenes are excellent (particularly the grainy opening scene inside the bathroom, and the chase until the Embassy), but the Bond car (with all the gadgets) was desperately missed. The movie could definitely be trimmed down by at least 30 minutes.

Worth a watch, at least to see Craig as Bond.

Another Look at Virumandi

2006-11-20T20:48:00.000-05:00

'Virumandi' is one of Kamal's serious movies that did not impress me much. Upon first viewing, it hardly seemed to be in the class of other gems such as 'Mahanadi', 'Anbae Sivam' and 'Hey Ram'. Granted, the film featured at least a couple of awesome performances (which seems to be a standing feature of most Kamal movies, which is why the standard accusation of onemanship against him is not completely justified IMO) courtesy Pasupathy and Abhirami, as well as an unusual screenplay. But the movie fell well short of my high expectations. Which is when another look at the movie presented itself, I had my eyes out for some redeeming features (I just hate hating the Kamal movies!).

First, the positives:

The relative newcomers, Pasupathy and Abhirami turn in masterly performances. Pasupathy oozes menace and deceit, and Abhirami delivers a knockout of a performance as a vivacious willage lass with a strong mind (a performance largely ignored by most of the awards, strangely). In fact, both of them out-act a strangely out-of-form Kamal, who looks really old and jaded in the flashback portions. Perhaps the onus of being the screenplay-wrier, stunt-director, director, singer and hero got to him! Though Kamal manages to showcase his method-acting skills in a couple of scenes (notice how his fingers twitch when he is nervous), he is listless for the most part - well, as listless as a Kamal perormance can be, I guess. Napolean looks dignified, and deadpans a few lines. Rohini does a neat cameo, in which her confrontation scene with Kamal was just AWESOME.

The screenplay is another laudable aspect about the movie. Opting for a two-pronged narrative adds many a layer to the movie, and each layer unravels only upon the re-telling of the tale. Masterly (though not entirely original)! The manner in which the movie unfolds - like a documentary, thru the eyes of a human activist, portrayed by Rohini - is impressive too.

The village ambience is yet another huge-plus for Virumandi. A typical TN village has been painstakingly recreated, and everything is just apt. Ilayaraja provided some outstanding BGMs as well - some of the more impressive pieces being during Pasupathy's narrative, Kamal's courtship of Abhirami etc.

However.

First of all, the violence: now, I am not exactly squeamish about violent movies; I just loved the 'Kill Bill' series. But certain movies warrant certain kinds of stunt direction. In incorporating the same 'Kill Bill' style of action sequences for 'Virumandi' that he did for 'Aalavandhan', Kamal falters. The sub-standard graphics don't help either. It does seem to me, a keen observer of Kamal's cinema, that Kamal has a fixation for a certain kind of violence on screen - blood spraying, limbs getting chopped etc are getting to be increasingly repetetive.

The implied message - that of capital punishment not suitably deterring crime - also seems half-hearted. Virumandi is not exactly the most innocent guy around; he's just gone around murdering half a dozen people, and stabbing another dozen - not exactly the best candidate for clemency, I'd say. Putting that bit in was Kamal trying to be rather a bit too clever for his own good - attempting to elevate the film from being merely the tale of a happy-go-lucky villager to a socially relevant fable. However, it backfires, making the movie seem half-baked.

All in all, a brave attempt by Kamal to balance the sensibilites of the front-benchers and of his own niche audience - he doesn't entirely succeed, but that won't stop him from trying again, I am sure. And that is exactly what makes me admire the hell out of the man.

Married Life

2006-11-12T17:15:00.000-05:00

Why does everybody feel like they have to ask me what my married life is like? I mean, its not like I am going to tell them them that married life sucks; so why! And this 'married life' thing is a huge misnomer; so far, 'married life' is pretty much like 'unmarried life'! Ok, mabbe I'm a bit green behind the ears still, so ask me the damn question coupla years later, dude!

And then then are the marriage jokes. Everybody, but everybody has a marriage joke to tell me. Its not all that hilarious, folks; check out whether the grin plastered on my face is genuine at first! In fact, not a single marriage-joke has amused me so far.

The last two weeks have passed by like a whirlwind; we had the appointment at the US consulate, where an old lady in her 60s trying desperately to look as if she were in her 40s instead, clicked her tongue sympathetically at my wife while viewing our marriage photographs (ithe photos are a necessity at the consulate to get a dependent-visa for your wife). I explained to her that all the snaps where I was topless were inside the temple, and she passed on a wry 'Yeah, I know' in my direction (I liked the tone of that one, though, resigned and incredulous all at once!). And the visas were ours.

Barely a week later, we found ourselves on an Emirates flight bound to Dubai (and then to JFK), with our rented house in Chennai left in shambles, and our poor parents left to take care of packing off all our stuff home. Upper management sucks, I do have to say - havent they heard of something called prior notice? If it wasn't for my friends in this project, I'd never have had an inkling, and would have had to call the whole thing off. As it was, it was quite hectic.

Landed in JFK, reached the hotel. This is the first time I was being put up in a hotel like this, and I went ape-shit after 4 days like this. Needless to mention, my wife was snapping at me for every second word I uttered. Thankfully, I managed to find an apartment and shift within 3 more days. And right now, its apartment-furnishing time!

No Cowing Here

2006-10-09T07:08:00.000-04:00

Just got back after a frustrating weekend in Kerala - much of it was spent in a car, commuting between Thrissur and Kasarkode (Northern Kerala), in a futile attempt to reach the famous Mookambika temple. Of course, the Mangalore riots over the past weekend put an end to any such wishes one might have had.

The reason for the riots? Well, there are more than a couple of rumours floating around. One, of course, is the official line touted by much of the press - that it was due to cow-slaughter (guess Google-journalism can do only so much). A second story doing the rounds is that a group of right-wing Hindu activists stopped a vehicle carrying cows, and the arguments that followed acted as a trigger for the violence. The third report, more in line with what people at the Kasarkode-Mangalore border had to say, states that the right-wing Hindu activists never actually intercepted the vehicle carying the cattle; even before that, the vehicle seems to have been involved in an accident. Apparently the altercation between the driver and the family of the victim sparked off things. And of course, since the driver was Muslim while the accident-victim was Hindu, so militant elements from both religions had to intervene, and there had to be a Hindu bandh, then a Muslim bandh etc etc.

Its sad that an ordinary hit 'n run accident was allowed to escalate to a matter of such alarming proportions. Anyone who's ever driven a car in Kerala know that bus & truck drivers are the biggest menace on the roads - they drive like bloody maniacs. Thier reckless driving is the reason for many an accident, but the drivers are seldom penalized - their unions are far too strong for that. As a result, the only thing a heavy-vehicle driver is scared of in the event of an accident is a thrashing (and they receive that pretty often too). Drivers being made accountable for hit 'n' run accidents would go a long way in ensuring some better road-manners.

Then we have the small matter of cow-slaughter. I have never understood this business of the cow being holy - if its due to the association with Lord Krishna, then we have a whole host of other animals that could be holy too (mouse, tiger, swan etc). If there's any other concrete holy/scientific reason behind this, I'd love to hear of it! And let's not even begin talking about how much care we take about all the cows that we find on the streets, eating plastic bags and other such nutritious stuff. Keralites have been eating beef for ages; does that make all of us impure Hindus? It has also been well-documented (see here, for instance) that in the pre-Vedic ages, even Brahmins used to eat beef (and mind you, this was long before the Muslim invasion). Hence, any claim or propaganda to the effect that Hindus do not eat beef is wrong; there are plenty of Hindus who do. If anybody opposes cow-slaughter and beef-eating, bring in legislation to ban it - like you have laws against eating pork in Saudi Arabia, for instance. Otherwise, nobody's not gonna stop me (and many others like me) eating beef, no matter how many vehicles are stopped or how many stupid bandhs are called.

To blame our political parties - be they right, left, Hindu, Muslim or secular - is to belabor an oft-repeated point. Its useless, and a waste of my time as well as yours. Everytime an incident of this kind occurs, politicans are ever-ready to point fingers at one another, and to land at the riot-spot to have snaps taken. Its been no different this time either.

At the Kasarkode border, we were warned by the localites. When we attempted to go further, a bunch of Muslim lads even came screaming behind us in a jeep, warning us not to enter Mangalore at any cost. The policemen posted at various points along the road also issued strict warnings to this effect. Thanks to all of them, we did not enter Mangalore, and were the better off for it.

The only positive to come oput of the trip (apart from the couple of temples we visited) was that being in Kasakode for the better part of Saturday offered us an opportunity to visit the famous Bekal fort (the one in the Uyire/Tu Hi Re song from Mani Ratnam's 'Bombay'). Its a magnificent fort indeed; its not for nothing that Kasarkode is called the land of forts (there are a few other forts too, but we did not visit them). There's an adjoining beach nearby too, but the sea is ferocious, and there are warning signs all around (didn't see any lifeguards, though?!!). However, the road leading to the fort is terrible, and there's not a decent restaurnat anywhere near the place. Its sad to see such a beautiful tourist spot underdeveloped and deserted (though there did seem to be landscaping going on).

Wedding Album Woes

2006-10-03T02:35:00.000-04:00

It wouldn't be the slightest bit of exagerration to say that photographers are the bane of every bridegroom (probably the brides too, but at least the end-results are usually favorable in their case!). They make it a point to shine the brightest of lights into your face, and then have you stand in the most awkward of poses (tilt your chin a bit more! Ah, don't show your teeth that much!). And to top it all, they use flashes that would put even lightning bolts to shame. Is it then the least bit surprising that half of the poor bridegrooms' photos have them squinting tiredly at the cameras with a grimace plastered onto their faces?

My case was no different. Even at the best of times, I am not exactly photogenic. But the album for the wedding reception was really carrying things a bit too much. I mean, even my poor father-in-law couldn't recognize me, dammit! Ok, the photographer chap was unobtrusive (as in, he didn't do things like stop guests and ask them to shake hands with me a second time and all that), but hey, f**k unobtrusiveness - its the album that matters, right! And to think we even complimented him on being so unobtrusive. I have a good inkling to give him a piece of my mind the next time I go to my hometown (which is this weekend).

The wedding-photographers, on the other hand, were constantly intrusive. They corrected my posture, continually requested guests to shake hands with us a second time, and to add insult to injury, took separate photographs as well. In on of those 'separate photographs', the guy suddenly jumped up and made a sudden lunge toward my crotch - apparently he wanted to adjust my crumpled mundu. Well, next time you reach out to correct a crumpled mundu, give a fella some warning so that he doesn't think you are giving in to some vile carnal impulse. But to give the fellow his due, he did produce a very nice wedding album. And believe me, with me in it that is no mean achievement.

Know what's funny? Apparently, the American Embassy wants 10 wedding photographs when Smitha appears for her L2 (dependent) visa, along with my renewal. I have a good mind to spring some of the most horrible ones (I have one of mine snarling at the photographer) on the unsuspecting officials, but seeing the ferocious expression on my face they might suspect me of being a terrorist (you see, I speak a 'foreign' language too)!

Eat This With Some Fava Beans

2006-09-26T02:04:00.000-04:00

It's not often that one encounters strong, well-etched out negative characters in books. In fact, IMO it is infinitely more difficult to craft an interesting villain, than to flesh out the hero. Perhaps this is why many times, villains end up being mere stereotypes (heroes do too, but that's another story). Here are some villains who are anything but:

Hannibal Lecter: truly one of a kind. Almost synonymous with Antony Hopkins ever since the movies released, this Thomas Harris creation (Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal and Red Dragon) is often downright chilling, and never less than disturbing. This article offers some insights into the events that made Hannibal the Cannibal. In an awe-inspiring description, Harris describes Hannibal as 'not really fitting into any psychological profile' and also goes on to say that while at prison, he 'attacked a nurse, tore out her eye, dislocated her jaw and ate her tongue; his pulse never went above 85 all the while'. What's more, Hannibal has 6 fingers, maroon eyes that reflect light and small white teeth. He has an exceptional sense of hearing and smell, and tilts his head to one side when listening (a mannerism that Hopkins adopted in the movies too).

Can you imagine the increduility that I felt when I heard that they were launching Hannibal Lecter into Bollywood? Guess who played Hannibal? Apna Akshay Kumar!

Jackson (The Winner, David Baldacci) is not a 'real' character, unlike Hannibal Lecter. Yet IMO he remains one of the most ingenious and cunning villains to be created in recent thriller fuiction. For much of the book, Jackson is a faceless man; appearing in disguise after disguise, he hides his true identity until the very end. The lottery scheme described in the book is pretty decent, and the book would make a great movie. The cat 'n' mouse game between Jackson and the heroine (LuAnn Tyler) is pretty engrossing as well.

Annie Wilkes (Misery, Stephen King): who can forget the lunatic, scheming nurse who keeps captive her favourite author Paul Sheldon - all because she's his 'number-one fan'? 'Misery' is one of Stephen King's earliest novels, if I am correct. It also happens to be my introduction to Stephen King, and o-boy, was I hooked! For the uninitiated, King is a master storyteller (especially the ones he writes as Richard Bachman), and 'Misery' finds him at his best. Annie Wilkes is a haunting character who stays with you for days after you have completed the book.

There was a recent Tamil version of 'Misery' - Balu Mahendra's 'Julie Ganapathy'. Veteran actor Saritha gave a scintillating performance as Annie Wilkes (or Julie Ganapathy, if you please). However, director Balu Mahendra succumbed to box-office dictates and inserted a couple of item numbers (doesn't even an eminent director of his stature have any sense? I mean, come on - having a wet dream in the last thing a man living in virtual terror would do!).

Norman Bates (Psycho, Robert Bloch): One of the very best in the horror genre, featuring an immortal fictional character. Tony Perkins enacted the role (in the famous Hitchkockian thriller of the same name) to perfection; Norman Bates brings to mind only Perkins, and nobody else. The done-to-death shot of the nubile girl in the shower being watched by an unknwon was pioneered by this film, I believe. The fact that the movie is on par with the book speaks volumes about the genius of Alfred Hitchcock.

Prof. Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle): Perhaps best known as the man who 'killed' Holmes. To many, that alone would make him the most-hated villain of all time. Moriarty was perhaps Holme's worthiest antanogist, and this should make him a certainty in any such list!

An interesting tidbit: I have read an interview of Stephen King that his main inspiration behind 'Misery' was the widespread protest that followed Holme's death while grappling with Prof. Moriarty.

Rainbird (Firestarter, Stephen King): John Raibird is a Red-Indian assassin who makes his entry only toward the latter half of the book. However, he makes a creepy villain alright - especially as he is pitted an innocent Charlie, a young girl cursed with pyrokinetc powers due to no fault of hers. His psychological skills as he toys with the young girl's mind invoke admiration as well as hatred in us.

The Poet (The Poet, Micheal Connelly): To put it simply, 'The Poet' is one of the best thrillers I have ever read (and as you can make out, I have read quite a few). Connelly exceeds himself in this exquisite book that does not star his usual assortment of characters (Bosch etc). Although the climax is not all that great, the journey to uncover the killer is awesome. The fact that Connelly establishes such a strong villain, using only his adversary's findings, is what makes this book such a good dread.

Btw, the title is a famous bit from one of the Hannibal Lecter books.

VV and Keerthi Chakra: Reviews

2006-09-25T03:35:00.000-04:00

'Vettayadu Vilayadu' has been a much-awaited film in most of South India. Starring the versatile Kamal Hassan and directed by upcoming director Gautam, the movie promised a lot. Does it deliver? Well, it does - at least partly.

VV is a classic cop-hunts-serial killer tale - nothing more, nothing less. Thankfully, there are none of the usual Kamal-touches in the movie - no smooches, no hints at child abuse, no high-pitched wails of misery, no atheist expositions and what's best, no high-funda makeup. Instead, we have a rather fleshy-looking Kamal - receding hairline and paunch in tow - play his age (well, almost!), and that certainly was the best aspect about the movie for me. Discarding the usual conventions of how a police officer in the movies has to look like, the hero looks like how any middle-aged policeman would look. There's nothing much in the role for an actor of Kamal's stature, and he doesn't disappoint in what he's been given either (would have been a challenge for somebody like Surya or Vikram, though).

The serial killer - played by Daniel Balaji, who was there in Gautam's earlier venture 'Kakka Kakka' was well - hams too much. Though he is menacing alright, he fails to convey the intelligence/cunningness the character seems to possess intuitively. As a foil to Kamal's character, he fails miserably. Thankfully, most of the time the taut screenplay hides his inadequacies. Jyothika is good in her role - Gautham certainly writes interesting characters for her.

The pluses? Well, it is a decent thriller, and has Kamal playing his age. It has a mature romance (which does not mean Bachchan and Hema Malini grooving to 'Chali Chali' for a change!), something that is so rare in Indian cinema. The little touches Kamal and Prakash Raj add to their characters when they meet are wonderful (it is so true that great actors enhance each others' performances). And of course, the technical aspects are superb.

Of course, VV was so amateurish in a lot of ways. First of all, it has the same old cop's-wife-killed-by-goons flashback. When will we stop doing this in our movies? If you have to show it, at least do it decently, like they did in 'Ab Tak Chappan'. The whole flashback portion was the worst aspect of VV. And pray, why did they add that miserable special-effects scene - the one showing Kamal zooming on a bike? The whole 'Raghavan instinct' thing was embarassingly and uncharacteristically voluble. And that bit about Jyothika having a kid - completely irrelevant! To top it all, the movie (especially the climax) had a huge 'Kakka Kakka' hangover.

Like most of Kamal's non-comedic movies, this one too is watchable fare.

At the outset: 'Keerthi Chakra' ('Aran' in Tamil) is poorly, poorly directed. In fact, were it not for the sheer presence of Mohan Lal in this amateurish attempt, it could pass for one of those Vijaykanth flicks (substituting Pakistani terrorists with Al-Qaeda would be about the only change required). Mohan Lal must have been sozzled to have accepted this movie.

First of all, there's not much of a story here. Its the usual tale about a bunch of patriotic armymen trying to thwart terrorists from harming the country (male-bonding goes with the territory). Lal leads the pack. Lal, like Kamal in VV, is grim most of the time. Yeah, you guessed right: his wife too was killed by Al-Qaeda. Lal's hawaldar is upcoming Tamil actor Jeeva (who turns in a competent performance). The terrorists are a bunch of perpetually scowling, screaming and ranting Muslims who keep saying 'jihad' that and 'jihad' this. And then there's the 'Indian Muslims are Indian first' moral, shoved into our faces first by a vile rape scene, and then by the lunatic sole surviver screaming curses at the dead bodies of the terrorists.

Lal and Jeeva are about the only positives in this farce. Though Lal is a bit too - (hmm..how shall we put this?) rotund - to essay the role of a commando, he makes no mistakes in the histronics department. Once again, its not much of a role, but Lal stands up and delivers. In fact, he ends up saving the movie from becoming an outright disgrace. Jeeva acquits himself honorably in his scenes with Lal, and that's a fine compliement by itself. The commando scenes are well-shot as well.

The negatives? You must be kidding me. Clueless direction, unimpressive music, listless camera work, terrible acting, a gruesome rape scene, inane & hackneyed dialogue - where do you want me to start? You'd be better off watching a Vijaykanth flick - at least, you can laugh!

One for the Foodies

2006-09-20T05:36:00.000-04:00

Apart from books and movies, food is another big weakness (its not that difficult to make out, once you have met me!). Hence, I always did love to try out new restaurants - though I have been disappointed quite often, I have sometimes been pleasantly surprised too.

Over the last few months, I have spent virtually all my weekends roaming around Bangalore and Chennai (on alternate weekends) with Smitha. Needless to mention, this offered me the perfect opportunity to visit some new eateries, both in Bglr and in Chn. I have been planning this particular post for quite some time, but it materialized only now.

Indi Joes (Indijoes), Bangalore: The place has some exotic cocktails, for sure. And they have an attractive Happy Hours offer as well: for any drink you buy before 8:30PM, you will get a free refill. Located inside the Carlton Towers complex on Airport Road, this swanky joint also has a good selection of sizzlers and desserts. I would personally vouch for the fondude; it was excellent. Its definitely not very quiet, though; I went there during the World Cup season, and the place was alive, if you know what I mean. I thought the nachos were excellent too, but I had to munch them up all alone, so I guess the feeling was not universal! A meal for two, including a couple of cocktails, would set you back by around Rs.750 - just make sure you get there before 8:30!

GRT Grand, Chennai: This is fast becoming one of my favorite restaurants in Chennai. The Indian restaurant (Copper Point) inside provides combines lovely interiors and impeccable service with mouthwatering food. The non-veg thalis that they serve are especially good - a typical thali comes with a thirst-quencher like jal-jeera, a non-veg appetizer plus a veg appetizer and then the regular thali with a non-vegetarian dish. The fish curry is truly awesome, and holds special memories.

The first time I visited Copper Point was with my dad, sis' and Smitha. Now, both dad and sis' are allergic to prawns, and hence we told the waiter specifically not to serve prawns. However, there was some kind of screw-up and they did end up serving prawns. Me and Smitha dug in, and the next time the waiter came by, we mildly said: Hey, you did end up serving prawns anyhow. My dad made some vague comment about how he'd have ended up puking into his plate. The waiter apologized profusely, and brought us a delicious fish-curry (which I ended up ordering on a couple of other visits too) - on the house. Now, that's service for you!

I'd recommend this hotel to anyone. Its a wee bit pricey: a meal for two, plus a couple of beers apiece would empty your wallet by around Rs. 1200. Some of the thirst-quenchers are really, really expensive though; there's one particular concoction with coconut-water and honey that costs a steep 95 bucks! If its a special occasion, I'd say its worth it.

Sikandar, Garuda Mall (4th Floor), Bangalore: This restaurant is hidden away inside Garuda Mall; the entrance obscures a finely done azure-blue decor. However, this is one of the few negatives I can point out about the restaurant. The interiors were splendid, and there was adequate space between the seats (I hate some of those restaurants where you can hear every word that the guy on the next table says). Moreover, they had a non-smoking section as well.

I'd popped in Sikandar for lunch, and I have to admit that the buffet was scrumptious. We ordered a couple of cocktails too (now, that's another interesting story, but if I repeat that here I might be sleeping on the sofa for the next couple of weeks, and I don't fancy that much!), and everything was excellent. I'd love to visit the restaurant again, and will do so at the next chance I get. you should too!

Savera, Chennai: Minar, the rooftop Mughlai restaurant in Savera, is my favourite restaurant in Chennai. For one, if you are lucky enough to get a window seat you get to have a bird's eye of Chennai for miles around (its on the 11th floor). And then, you have the ghazals; a blind singer responds favorably to suggestions and belts out ghazals and other select oldies. The service has always been efficient, and the kababs are lovely (if you ask me, I'd choose the Machli Noorjahani or the Machli Koliwada anytime). And most importantly, they serve pickled onions with the drinks (I have always been a sucker for these)! Be warned, though: Minar borders on the slightly expensive side; a meal for two could easily cost you Rs. 600 or more.

Zara Tapas, Chennai: This one calls itself a Mexican tavern. They have a nice ambience, an impressive collection of cocktails and some great snacks. And yeah, the waiters are all young and try their darnest to process your orders fast. The window tables are lovely, and by 10PM the place is completely full. They have a pepper-squid-something snack that's really yummy. However, the place is really, really on the expensive side.

The next post on restaurants will be the ones I really didn't like all that much. But that's for next time. Please do feel free to add your own recommendations (irrespective of which city they are in!)

Outkissing the Serial Kisser

2006-09-15T06:32:00.000-04:00

Bald maverick & ex-director Mahesh Bhatt has dug up new diaries that he wrote when he was romping in the hay with Parveen Babi (lucky bastard!), and is planning to script (yet) another kissjerker with apna Emraan Hansini. The story goes something like this:

Hansini is an high-profile ex-pimp (ex, 'coz while running away from the husband of a woman he tried to sell to Amrita Singh, a Beirut-based madam, he was hit by a running car) who now limps badly. He is married to one of his old clients, Udita Goswami, who has made a name for herself as one of Beirut's top call-girls. They have an unhappy marriage, as Hansini has had a conscience attack after his accident, and does not approve of Goswami coming home late, and neglecting their adorable little child Rohan. And what's more, she does not even attend Rohan's lacrosse matches!

Shamita Shetty is Mrs. Plain-Jane unhappily married to party animal Ashmit Patel; opposites don't attract, in this particular case. While Shamita is content to sit at home and vaccum the carpet, Ashmit believes in setting the city on fire. Repeated attempts to drag Shamita to parties have ended up with Ashmit spending the night on the sofa, and Ashmit now goes to parties alone.

Hansini and Shamita meet. Sparks fly. Despite Shamita's initial reluctance, Hansini succeeds in kissing her. Again and again (yet another lucky bastard)! They have a rollicking affair, running around on the streets of Beirut scattering poor pigeons all over the place.

Of course, there has to be a lovemaking scene too. Set to a soulful song by a Pakistani singer, of course.

In what has to be an incredible coincidence, Goswani and Ashmit knew each other; in fact, Ashmit used to be Udita's favorite customer. But that's all history now. They share tips on how to rescue their respective marriages. They even sing a song together, where Goswami flaunts her midriff yet again. However, inevitably, they find out that their respective spouses are cheating on them. Much yelling and slapping follow.

After yet another airport-climax, where Hansini knocks down a hundred people and their suitcases, he and Shamita finally end up together. All's well that ends well.

Only, KJo (like JLo, only KJo's sexier!) beat the Bhatts in making this epic saga of infidelity. Thus we have the laborious KANK and not an exciting Gangster.

Its not that bad - considering that KANK is just Johar's third movie as director, KANK is an ambitious effort that is slightly better than his previous offering, K3G. In fact, compare KANK to other 'third' movies, and it even begins to look decent. However, KANK is no ordinary movie (if you don't know why, you have read this post in vain)! Karan Johar does have a decent sense of script, and a great eye for dialogue. However, what he also unfortunately has is a weakness for hayckneyed melodrama and bucketfuls of glycerine. If Karan does away with all the melodrama & glycerine, he might have the glimmerings of a good (and not merely candyfloss-competent) director in him. Let's hope he produces a tight, well-edited film next time!

Shaadi Ke Pehle

2006-09-13T03:52:00.000-04:00

For once, this is not a film review; instead its a recap of my final bachelor moments...

The night before the wedding, we had a small function at home for family & friends. Most of the elders - meaning people of my dad's generation or even older - attacked the liquor ferociously, while the women and children kept re-visiting the sarees and the ornaments.

To say that most Mallu men drink would be like saying most fish (or is it fishes!) swim; liquor is a must for any ceremony that does not involve temples (except the poorams, but that's another story altogether). As I have mentioned elsewhere on his blog, from the fermented white toddy tapped from young coconut trees to imported golden scotch, us Mallus love to devour all of it. And then of course, we have the various brands of cheap arrack sold - naming these is a science by itself, I have to say. I mean who else could think up brand-names like Aana-Mayacki (Elephant-tranquilizer, supposedly strong enough to make even an elephant stagger), Resurrection (so strong that you'd get up only after 3 days), and Manavatti (Bride, a 'lighter' brand which'd have you hanging your head down like a bride)? In fact, the only place you can find Mallu men standing meekly in line would be at wine-shops; in front of that great equalizer, alcohol, we seem to lose that furious combative spirit that otherwise so naturally overpowers us at other venues such as railway stations, bus stops and cinema theatres.

Women and sarees/ornaments, of course, form a much more global phenomenon. Take any self-respecting South Indian lady (ok, maybe not all the gals of CurGen, but still at least 50% of them) to a Kancheepuram shop, and you have them drooling at hours & hours of non-stop nirvana. They, somehow, are blessed with an ability to discern the quality of weavership by just running a lazy hand over the pallu of a saree (for other ignorant men, like me: this action somewhat resembles how Dickie Bird signals FOUR!). The new sarees bought for the wedding must have been re-opened and folded, if I were to warrant a guess, roughly about 365 times on that night alone. And of course, there were groans of 'Oohs!' and 'Aaghs!' everytime the ornaments were displayed. Ah, well - its like men and cricket, I guess - only worse!

By 10:00 PM, the men were all tired of drinking, the women were tired of saree-viewing and the kids were hungry. The food was served, and families slowly started trudging off to their respective homes. Old drunk men came up to me and clasped my hands in theirs, eliciting from me all kinds of promises - to go to bed early, wake up early tommorow, pray hard etc. Yeah go home, buddy, so that I can sleep, you know!

The driver was busy dropping people home, and at around 10:30 we had a frantic call from him: apparently a Tata Sumo had come and rammed the car from behind. Now, this was serious alright - this was the 'wedding car' that had to bring us home the next day. Before one could say 'Jesus Christ', some 2 cars laden with drunk men itching to pick a fight had taken off to the site of the accident. What's worse, my dad was one of them (though he does claim he wasn't drunk, he caertianly was itching to pick a fight!). Luckily, things were settled peacefully and there wasn't much damage to our car (just a tiny dent); hurrah, the wedding car was alright!

After packing off all the guests, we now had to make our way to the hotel near the mandap to spend the night. The marriage itself would take place at Guruvaoor, a temple where as many 150 marriages would take place on an auspicious day. In fact, there has even been a 'mistaken identities' wedding at Guruvayoor, due to the huge rush. I mean, just imagine hundreds of excited brides & bridegrooms with anxious parents in tow hustling and bustling toward the mandap, even as their respective photographers try in vain to get the 'right' angle: pandemonium would be an understatement! But still, its a six-zigma process alright! Anyway, to avoid all this chaos we'd decided to hold the wedding as early in the morning as possible, and hence we were staying near the temple.

We reached the hotel by around 11:45 PM. I took a quick shower and went to sleep. Thus ended my my last day as a bachelor...

And lo,

2006-09-10T12:08:00.000-04:00

I am a married man!!

Koopa Mandookam

2006-08-10T07:51:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, there lived a frog in a well; he thought that all was well, and that the well was the best. He wallowed to his heart's content, until he met a turtle who told him about the Indian Ocean.

I can't help feeling most of our film-critics and fans are sorta like the frog in the well. Any semblance of competence is immediately hailed with the highest order of praise; mediocrity is seldom recognized for what it is, and I'd better not get started on our many incompetent actors.

Look at Amitabh Bachchan, for instance. He is the biggest superstar the country has ever seen (at least in terms of longetivity, if nothing else). He is also an awesome entertainer, as KANK proves yet again. However, he - fairly or unfairly - receives rave reviews for whatever he does - TV shows, dumb movies such as 'Waqt', and even dumber ads (the new Dairy Milk ad is one of the dumbest I have ever seen). However, try to list out some world-class performances from him - and you have zilch. None of his performances - not even ONE - can hold a candle to the ones that great actors like Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Marlon Brando, Naseeruddin Shah, Om Puri, Mohan Lal and Kamal Hassan have delivered in abundance. And before you object, 'Black' was definitely not world-class; it was merely an overhyped, over-praised effort by the Big B to reach the acting heights he once used to easily surpass ('Milee', 'Abhimaan' etc). Where a little subtlety would have gone a long way, Bachchan tragically sought to overact.

Let's look at another superstar: SRK. His performance in 'Swades' was much-praised. Pray, what exactly did he do in that movie that was so great? For one of the few times, in a career spanning more than 10 years, Khan was not himself (ok, to be fair, he was more than that; he was definitely competent). Does that define a great performance? Of the other two Khans, one cannot act if his life depended upon it, and the other Khan has somehow (admirably) resisted Bollywood's tendency to destroy what little talent one has (Bachchan and SRK are prime examples).

Mind you, this is not an attack on superstars; if so, I'd have attacked the other great superstar of our times: Rajnikant. However, Rajni at least makes no pretension about his acting skills. He's made up his mind to give his fans a rollicking time in the aisles, and he does exactly that - admittedly with a lot less sophestication than the Bachchans and the Khans, but with a lot more success. And I'm no big fan of Rajni myself: I thought that 'Chandramukhi' was a poorly directed, and even more poorly-enacted miserable rehash of what was originally a terrific premise.

Some of the actors (and not stars) I do admire, and whose movies I look forward to, are:

Kamal Hassan: One has to admit, this guy has guts. Despite several heart-wrenching box-office failures (I still can't believe that 'Anbae Sivam' flopped so badly), the guy keeps on ticking. And once a year, he comes out with some path-breaking cinema as well. He is getting to old to continue with his on-screen antics, though. Judging by his latest movies, there is a terrific screenplay-writer and director lurking in him, that soon ough to outrace the actor in him.

Naseeruddin Shah & Om Puri: After a terrific performance in last year's 'Iqbal', Naseer popped up in 'Krissh' in a wierdo act that was almost painful to watch. As somebody remarked elsewhere (I forgot who), they ought to pay this guy some money every year so that he doesn't have to do crap like this for monetary reasons. Om Puri isn't as selective as Naseer - he appears in a lot of crappy stuff. But whenever Om chooses to do a 'Bollywood Calling' or a 'Dhoop', one realizes what a terrific actor he really is.

Mohan Lal, who seems to have got his act back together. For the last 5 years, the guy had been doing ONLY C-grade moustache-twirling-rowdy movies. After several flops, he seems to have come to his senses. And o-boy! - 'Thanmatra' was some comeback alright!

Aamir Khan, who seems to have made up his mind to do some sensible cinema. Despite the occasional Fanaa, this actor is - for the most part - dependable.

Kareena Kapoor & Rani Mukherjee: I have maintained from the onset that Kareena can act, despite snide comments from all and sundry (my mom can't stand her). 'Chameli', 'Dev' and now 'Omkara' continue to prove me right. Rani, on the other hand, has been terrific right from her 'Rani Ki Aayegi Baraat' days, and I have always liked her infectiousness (yes, even during her Govinda-days). Hopefully, she will continue to straddle the 'Black's with the 'KANK's.

Atul Kulkarni & Manoj Bajpai: Kulkarni outshone even Kamal Hassan in 'Hey Ram' - he just dominated all the scenes he was in. And hey, am I the only one who thinks Kulkarni's fiery rendition of 'Sarfaroshi ki Tamanha' was the best scene in RDB? Bajpai, on the other hand, seems to be going nowhere. After fiery performances in 'Satya', 'Shool' and 'Kaun' - all from the RGV camp, mind you - the actor seems to have lost his touch. But there's no doubting the man's versitality.

Vikram, who spent years acting as Mammootty's driver-cum-assistant (the poor chap was picked solely to dance! Vikram must be thanking his stars that Mammootty has two left legs) before graduating right to the front of the class with Bala's 'Sethu'. Ever since, he has never looked back. Today, he is one of the few actors to successfully straddle meaningful cinema with the run-of-the-mill stuff - who else could carry off the dark 'Pithamagan' (which is one of the finest Indian movies I have seen) with the same panache as the over-the-top, flamboyant 'Anniyan'? Btw, Vikram's colleague and co-actor in 'Pithamagan' is no mean actor himself.

Konkona Sen, who is JUST AWESOME. So far, she hasn't put a single step wrong in any of her performances - be it as the rustic UP wife in 'Omkara', the South Indian housewife in 'Mr & Mrs Iyer' or the schizhophenic child-woman in '15 Park Avenue'. And on top of it, she's barely 8 movies old. In fact, let me stick my neck out here and say that she just might prove to be the best actor in this list - there, I have done it!

Of course, there are a whole lot of other great actors out there: Paresh Rawal, Mammootty and Shabana Azmi, just to name a few. However, the actors in them seem to be on vacation! Rawal seems to be content fooling around perpetually, Mammootty seems to have gone crazy (what else do you call a 57-year old triple National Award winner who is perpetually dancing - or rather, trying to - dance - with girls barely past 20?) and Azmi has been content for far too long playing the same role over and over again. Of course, they are all great actors, and just might bounce back!!

Omkara vs Kaliyattam

2006-08-07T01:30:00.000-04:00

Went and watched 'Omkara' yesterday. An encore from Vishal Bharadwaj after 'Maqbool', though I did think the latter featured better performances all around. But then, I also think that the former is directorially a better effort. I couldn't help comparing 'Omkara' to the Malayalam adaptation of 'Othello' (named 'Kaliyattam') as I watched the events unfold on screen. Here is a direct comparison of the principal players in both the movies.

Vishal vs. Jayaraj: I'd like to claim an honourable draw here. While 'Omkara' is steeped in the milleau of rural UP, 'Kaliyattam' is based on the fascinating backdrop of temple artforms and the beliefs surrounding it. Both directors were equally successful in integrating the premise into the backdrop convincingly; both directors deserve full marks in choosing an unconventional cast and making them perform exceptionally well. However, I felt that Vishal scored slightly better in rounding off his characters better; Jayaraj was guilty of ignoring the other characters (look at how well Vivek Oberoi's Firangi is moulded, for instance). Vishal also dishes out nuances (the green tinge for Saif, the black shawl for Othello) that enhance the overall appeal of his version.
Verdict: Vishal has the slightest of edges.

Ajay Devgun vs. Suresh Gopi: As the dark Moor, Ajay is as grim as ever. Despite tantalising glimpses of the affection Omkara feels for Dolly (this is Devgun at his most romantic, I think!), Ajay fails in conveying the depth of Omi's love for Dolly. Moreover, Ajay has done this sort of thing far too often, and he merely performs upto everybody's expectations. Suresh Gopi, on the other hand, vastly derided by one and all as an actor who could do only the gun-touting, foul-mouthed act, put in a humdinger of a performance as the deformed Perumalayan (Othello) who feels that the trust he placed in Thamara (Desdemona) has been betrayed. Gopi's love for Thamara is worn on his sleeve, and his sense of betrayal is all the more effective for it.
Verdict: This one goes to Gopi.

Kareena vs. Manju Warrier: I admit I might not be objective here, but this one is a cinch. Kareena puts in an amazing performance as Dolly. The gaiety, bewilderment and anguish are all conveyed with finesse. One wonders how an actress can be so effective in one movie, and equally lacklustre in others (read 'Khushi', 'Main Prem Ki..' etc). However, despite Kareena's sterling effort, she is no match for the natural performer that Manju Warrier was (she no longer acts). To run the risk of repeating myself, Manju was sheer magic on celluloid - what else can one say about an actor who even managed to overshadow MohanLal ('Kanmadam')? 'Kaliyattam' was but one of her minor roles, and she shone in even that.
Verdict: Kareena, despite a fine performance, is no match for Manju.

Saif vs. Lal: Saif has put in a lot of effort to get under the skin of Ishwar Tyagi. Be it the rough dialect, the chipped yellow teeth, or the crafty grin - Saif Ali Khan ensures that his persona never ventures even a peep. Particularly noteworthy is that pivotal scene where Omi passes him over as successor; Langda betrays his emotion only by a flicker of the eye. Envy, sadness and finally rage play across his eyes, and he smiles a trifle bitterly. Lal, on the other hand, was terrific alright; but subsequent movies have diluted the impact that 'Kaliyattam' had created. Lal perhaps made a better Iago, but Saif had the tougher act to carry off. The only area where Saif failed, I felt, was in not making Langda repulsive; Lal's Paniyan was downright repulsive.
Verdict: Saif scores over Lal for his sheer transformation into Ishwar Langda Tyagi.

All the other protagonists in 'Omkara' - in particular, Vivek Oberoi and Konkona Sen (who is just remarkable) - score over their counterparts in 'Kaliyattam'. Oberoi finally turns in a noteworthy performance after 'Company'; his grief and anguish are palpable. Konkona seems utterly incapable of being bad - she just seems to belong with all the other women there, that you don't even recognize her for a minute - and that, is the ultimate compliment.

The few downsides of 'Omkara' are in the commercial devices it resorts to. Bipasha is a huge misfit and so are those stupid item numbers (what a figure she has, though!). Konkona's Kali-act was also a bit too predictable, I thought. Overall, a tremendous movie though.

'Phunnee' Language

2006-07-31T11:55:00.000-04:00

I guess all of us have our own favorite stories about teachers destroying the English langauge. Indeed, anecdotes of 'open the windows; let the air-force come in' and such are commonplace by now. Here I present a few of my own favourite college anecdotes:

This happened during my MCA, in my juniors' class. This was a new prof (for Networking, of all things), and the students were understandably a bit cagey, not sure of what to expect of this new chap. The prof, dressed impeccably, strutted up and down the class, doing the usual introduction session. Then he asked for the class-rep and walked down to the blackboard. 'Tommorow, I want some charcoal in this class!', the prof thundered.

'Charcoal !!', wondered the flabbergasted students. The hapless class-rep threw some panicked glances toward the class-toppers, but they seemed equally bewildered. So the poor guy ventured an incredulous 'Charcoal, sir ?'. The prof, by now beginning to get quite impatient with the inability of this class to take in a simple command, reiterated in an ominous tone 'Yes, yes, charcoal!'.

By now, it was clear to everybody that the guy was a hopeless nut. One of the guys threw caution to the winds, and asked the prof: 'What do you need charcoal for, sir ?'. The highly irritated professor exclaimed, 'What do you mean, what for? I want to maintain a daily bulletin !'. By now, it had dawned on the prof that he was cursed with a class of imbeciles, and a peculiar calm descended on him. He took pity on the gaping students and said: 'Of course, all of you have to contribute to make this a success'.

The class-rep finally had an inkling of what the prof wanted by now. He ventured a guess: 'Sir, do you mean thermocol by any chance ?'. 'Exactly, you hit the nail on the head, my dear boy !', exclaimed the by-now beaming professor. Needless to mention, the story was out within hours, and was the subject of much hilarity for at least a week.

There were lots of other incidents with this prof, but this one became truly famous in campus. Of course, the guy was christened 'Charcoal' ever after. The strange thing was that at times he would speak coherently, and then he would go and utter something really wierd, which would have everybody around him in splits.

This was during one of those infamous model-exams that we had every semester. The girls were writing furiously, as if their lives depended on it. Some of the guys were copying desperately, while some of the others (including me) just couldn't be bothered. The teachers (invigilators, so to speak) in charge of that particular hour were a couple of new guys.

Now, these guys were really peculiar - they moved around as if they were Siamese twins. I mean, you just couldn't spot one without the other. They also dressed sorta alike - cream/white shirts, khakees and a smear of ash on their foreheads. And neither of them could use more than two words of English in a sentence.

The pair almost caught a girl copying; she managed to get rid of the chits just in time, and staunchly denied it, of course. The duo proceeded to ask the one question that every person getting caught copying at exams should be asked: 'You true or false?'. Now, we were final-years, and not really in a mood to write exams and all that. As a result, this ingenious question threw the class into hysterics. The poor girl, whom the question was directed at, was gaping at the guy like a goldfish in a bowl. Unfortunately, while laughing the loudest little did I know that I was the next bakra in line (all of us think they were asking the girl whether she was saying the truth or lying, but to this day we are not sure!).

The exams were getting over, and everybody was slowly getting up. The new teachers meticulously collected everybody's papers, and asked for the class-representative (me). Then they asked me: 'Who hand?'. Startled at this sudden question directed at me, it took a moment for me to process the meaning. After a moment of speculating whether he meant Maradona's 'Hand of God' or something like that, I politely (as politely as I could manage) said that I did not understand. They tried to make things clearer: 'Paper who hand?'. The class was once again in hysterics, and I was trying hard not to smile myself. I thought they wanted to know who to hand over the answer-sheets to, and asked them whether that was what they meant. They nodded in unison: No!

By now, the entire class wanted to go, and began shouting out suggestions. A brainwave struck one of my friends, and he shouted out truimphantly: 'Who handles this paper! They want to know who is handling this paper!'. Looking at them for confirmation, both of them were nodding their head approvingly. Mightily relieved, I told them the name and ran away from there.

But seriously, I often wonder how such candidates get through interviews. After all, isn't at least a minimal conversational ability in English a must for a teacher (that too, at a post-graduate level)? Some of the teachers we have been forced to endure wouldn't get past the first stage of an interview of one of our IT firms (which is probably why they have opted for the teaching profession, I suspect).

Just to make things clear, I have had some great teachers during my college life, and I remain grateful to all of them. However, I have also had to endure many insufferable and incompetent teachers purely for the sake of internal marks (which they keep reminding you of whenever they suspect you are getting a bit superior). Isn't it time we get rid of the much-revered guru-shishya model (where a student is supposed to respect and adore his teacher irrespective of whether (s)he is good, bad or ugly) and adopt a more professional approach of evaluating our teachers based on students' feedback?

Before Omkara, there was Kaliyattam (M)!

2006-07-30T05:56:00.000-04:00

I have not seen any new movies. But I do want to see Vishal Bharadwaj's 'Omkara' - for several reasons. Both 'Makdee' and 'Maqbool' made for some engrossing cinema (though I did find the former a tad amateurish, but the director more than made up for it in the latter), and IMO Vishal is certainly a talent to watch out for. In his latest venture, the director has managed to assemble a bunch of talented actors (yes, I do believe Kareena is talented - watch her in 'Chameli' and 'Dev', for instance). Most of all, I want to know whether Vishal surpasses one of my own favourite movies - 'Kaliyattam', an attempted by ace director Jayaraj (who is no staranger to Shakespeare adaptations, btw).

A bit of history about the title first: the Malayalam word 'kaliyattam' is actually the name of an art-form that is often refered to as the predecessor of Kathakali (which, I hope, needs no introduction). Kaliyattam is a temple art-form performed in front of temples - mostly owned/managed by celestal homesteads in the time this art-form used to flourish - as an inaugural function, and also as a kind of annual pooja for social and/or familial safety. Each character is the staging of a kaliyattam is called a kolam (form). To distinguish between the type of character (heroic, wicked, comedic), each kolam employs special styles of face-painting. Of course, being a temple art-form, the chief kolam is usually the god/goddess of the temple. Rumour has it that at the time of performing the kaliyattam, the spirit of the god/goddess enters into the person assuming the kolam. Hence the person who assumes the lead kolam, so to speak, has rigorous processes to follow and is held in great esteem by everybody.

Jayaraj places Shakespeare's 'Othello' into this religious & artistic milleu. Othello, of course, is the person who enacts the chief 'kolam'. In a masterly performance, Suresh Gopi enacts the insecurities of Othello with masterly command. However, Lal (a popular director, forced into acting by Jayaraj in what would prove to be a stroke of genuis) as Iago steals the honours right from under Gopi's nose. As the scheming, ingratiating and evil Iago, Lal gives a performance of a lifetime. Manju Warrier plays Desdemona straight, with none of her usual quick repartees that the audience of Kerala had come to love by then (indeed, IMO she is one of the finest young actresses to have graced the Indian screen). The rest of the cast perform competently.

I read in a recent interview with Vishaal that he had opted not to put in the song that Desdemona songs on the night that she is killed. Bad decision, I think. In the Malayalam version, this is a beautiful number that goes ennodenthinu pinakkam...(Why are you upset with me...) that has gone on to become an immortal song for Kerala cine-goers. Bipasha's items numbers currently blaring on screen haven't really impressed me much, but let us see whether Vishal manages to upstage Jayaraj.

Update: There is now an article 'Kaliyattom' on Rediff. Click here to read it.

My World This Month

2006-07-30T04:16:00.000-04:00

Blogging has hit a severe roadblock; the organization I work for has decided to block every single site in the world. Wonder why we have the Internet, after all - the org might as well remove all connectivity, for all the good that being connected does us. IMO, if the purpose of such mass-blocking of sites is to increase productivity, then they certainly have their policies all wrong.

Anyway, due to such hindrances at work I decided to opt for a broadband connection. But the Airtel customer-service being what it is, I truly do not know when I will get a connection (a visit to the Airtel office has already proved futile).

It's been an eventful month, certainly. On the personal front, hectic wedding preparations are going on. And of course, this has not been the quietest of months otherwise either. First we had the RD (Reader's Digest) survey on rudeness (which, it appears, was really a survey on courtesy) which hit the news. There were a lot of Mumbaikars vehemently protesting against the methods of survey, against the results and even recommending 'ruder' cities. The last I heard, the Shiv Sena were planning to burn all shops that sell RD (hopefully, they won't really do it; I am just kidding!).

And then we had the Mumbai blasts. Of course, for all our government has done about it, the blasts might never have happened at all. I remember what happened when there was an attack on Parliament; military operations on the border were instantly escalated, and remained intensified for a couple of months. Moral of the story, I guess, is that our government will act against terrorists only they are targetted personally. Wah, government ho to aisi!

Many people also praised the 'spirit of Mumbai', and remarked that this was an apt rejoinder to poor RD. The poor Mumbaikar attempts to get on with his life as best as he can, and even that is politicised. Could people please stop talking about this indomitable spirit, at least at this time? Any other city in the world would have responded in the same way in the face of such devastating tragedy (e.g. NY during 9/11, the affected areas during the tsunamis etc). Instead, hit out at our inability to do anything about this continual terrorist threat.

For all our criticism of America's policies on terror, remember one thing: they have not had another terrorist attack on their soil. I am sure thay'd rather take on all the criticism than face another 9/11. Most unfortunately, our government seems to believe in the reverse - hence the sorry state of affairs.

To Read Or Not To Read - Is That A Question?

2006-07-06T05:11:00.000-04:00

Not to me. From childhood, ever since a teacher (bless her) thrust a well-worn Enid Blyton book at me, I have never been without books. Despite my mom's best attempts to coerce me away from books at least at mealtimes, the habit has persevered. Indeed, I am quite the laughing-stock at several restaurants in Chennai, for plonking myself on an unoccupied table and reading away to abandon. IMO, the excietement of reading a thriller is paramount when you are either eating, or in the loo (yeah, I am wierd, I know!). I am so wierd that in our house every loo has inbuilt bookshelves!

Some of the books that I have read over the past few months have been quite interesting, and some others have been outright trashy. Here I describe a few of the interesting ones:

'We need to talk about Kevin' by Lionel Shriver is a humdinger of a book, though morbid at times. The book worked for me at several levels: as a commentary on society's perceived notions of the mother, as an interpretation of the possible motives that compel a teenager to kill his peers and most of all, the more-than-ample suggestions that the narrator may not be presenting an entirely unbiased account. The book is about Kevin Katchadourian, who kills 10 people at his school when he is just 15. The tale is narrated by Eva, Kevin's dysfunctional mom. To the author's credit, neither Kevin nor Eva ever descend to being merely stereotypical characters - they are complex, difficult (even hateful) characters sometimes, but on the other hand even Kevin is endearing sometimes. For those of you who enjoy serious reading, this is an amazing read.

'The Poisonwood Bible' by Barbara Kingsolver is an interesting read, but IMO falls short of being great. The book narrates the tale of a fiery evangelist who tears his family away from everything they are used to, and hauls them away to the politically volatile Congo. The story moves forward through the viewpoints of the preacher's daughters. Despite a great plot, the book really fails to propel itself to a modern classic. Kingsolver failes to bring alive the Congo, the way Wilbur Smith used to bring alive Africa in some of his earlier works (or as Khaled Hosseini did Afghanistan so eloquently in the wonderful 'The Kite Runner'). Also, one of the protagonists - Rachel - has no character graph at all. I did enjoy all the biblical references, though (I am a big fan of all biblical fiction).

'The Pilot's Wife' by Anita Shreve is highly overrated, IMO. I could foresee where the book was going almost from the beginning; was almost like one of those cheesy 80's Jeetendra-Rekha-Jayaprada potboilers. I did like the way she conveyed the way the family copes with the sudden tragedy, but the other-woman-angle (sorry!) was uncalled for. Recommended only for staunch followers of Danielle Steele and the like.

'Like Water for Chocolate' by Laura Esquivel is more like a re-telling of a legend (like somebody narrating the Ramayana, for instance), and less of a conventional novel. Once this fact was firmly entrenched in my mind, I was absolutely entranced by this novel. First of all, the book follows a unique, rivetting format: every chapter begins with the recipe of a dish that Tita is currently preparing, and then dissolves into the actual plot. And the Mexican recipes (especially the quail in rose-petal sauce one) sound really yummy, I have to admit (but my being a glutton has nothing to do with the quality of the book!). This is a great, great book - just have to see the movie version too.

I am currently reading:

'Hangman's Journal' by Shashi Warrier: This boasts of a plot that seems (at least in the initial stages) similar to Adoor Gopalakrishnan's latest masterpiece 'Nizhalkuthu' (Interplay of Shadows). The books got some good reviews, and Shashi Warrier has written some decent stuff before ('Night of the Krait', 'The Orphan' etc).

'A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian' by Marina Lewycka is next on my list. This too has been heavily recommended to me, and is supposed to be a damn good read; let's wait and see!

P.S.: Excuse the bastardization of the great Bard's work!

Benevolent Bhaji

2006-07-04T03:21:00.000-04:00

The lady stood by, crestfallen, as the entire Indian team went by without even looking at her. Dissapointed, and more than a little pissed-off, tears of anger and frustration clouded her eyes. Just as she prepared to work her way out of the ground, a a gentle voice beckoned her:

tusi ro rahe ho? You no cry. I give what you want!

It was our own Bhaji, whose tender heart could not bear the sight of the misty-eyed foreigner. Apna Turbanator promptly proceeded to give her his own autograph, and was promptly rewarded by a 100-watt smile.

Of course, the clothes (sic!) had nothing to do with it!

(Image Courtesy Cricinfo)

My Big Fat Mallu Wedding - Part I (Invitation Cards)

2006-07-03T01:12:00.000-04:00

After the engagement hungama, now its time to begin fussing about the marriage itself - aug 26 sounds ominously proximate, darn it!

Now, being the bridegroom, I find myself in the fortunate position of having to do almost nothing! One of the few things that I did need to take care of was choosing a decent invitation card . Upon making some 'discreet enquiries', I was convinced that my choices in Chennai boiled down to either 'Menaka Wedding Cards (Kodampakkom)' or 'Olympic Cards (Parry's)'. Now, I just knew that Kodampakkom is somewhere close to the dreaded Panagal Park zone, that area in Chennai where even the most seasoned drivers venture into only with trepidation. However, emboldened by my friends' comments on how the traffic was 'much better nowadays', I made the foolhardy decision of trying to reach the damn place on my two-wheeler.

Several hours and half a dozen flouted traffic rules later, I finally found myself weary and drained at the entrance of Menaka Cards. The showroom itself offered a bewildering array of choices, not exactly a reassuring sight to somebody who had just drained himself by participating in traffic that seemed straight out of a Matthew Reilly book. For reasons best known to the proprietor(s), they did not have an organized catalog of wedding cards; instead they just had the huge collection displayed on the walls, whose texture and text you could personalize. The kahani mein twist, however, was that these displayed cards could apparently be switched daily (randomly). I mean, if I'd chosen a card and come back the next day with my fiancee to show her the card of my choice, there's have been the distinct possibility that I'd have driven myself crazy hunting for the damn card. Seems to me an extremely inefficient and inorganized way of doing business, but then they are the biggest suppliers of wedding cards in Chennai; so I guess their friggin' system works, after all. Anyway, due to this queer idiosyncrasy, I found myself in the rather unenviable position of having to make a second trip to the bloody place, this time with Smitha in tow (she wanted around 100 cards too), so that we could choose a template and give the order.

This time around, I wisely keep my bike at a friend's place, and continue the journey by an auto (Chennai autowallahs are not exactly paragons of virtue, but anybody who can navigate through that kind of traffic for a living has earned his money alright, IMO). After several breathtaking kamikaze moves (through which Smitha has her eyes tightly shut), the auto-driver gets us to the above-mentioned cardshop within 20 mins. I tip the guy, who's puzzled face suddenly breaks into a beatific grin. He asks me whether he should wait. I tell him not to ride his luck too hard, and venture inside the cardshop for the second time in the week.

To tell you the truth, they do have an awful lot of good cards. I was rather keen on a wonderful card with MGR on the main-page, with a stamp-sized beaming Jayalalitha on the right-bottom corner (it had red-gold borders too), but unfortunately my fiancee did not quite see things my way. Neither of us wanted the huge newspaper-style cards, and hence we desisted from even going near that section of the store. The card that we chose finally was pretty decent, after all (in spite of me, I should say). My only grouse was that the card had one Ganpati too many, but I was quickly overridden and hushed up, so the Ganpatis stay, I guess! We studiously avoid all those horrible cliches - 'Compliments, beloved sister Nimmie', 'Ensure presence & avoid presents' and other such crap.

A week later, I am back at the store - this time to collect the cards (by auto again, of course). I am horrorstruck to note that the cards are not in their respective envelopes - drat it! I guess I have a couple of hours of folding to do too - makes me think we could have avoided the envelopes, but what the heck!

P.S.: This is my 100th post on this blog - wow!!!! I do hope there has been some improvement in the quality as well!!!

Wham! Bam! Thank You...

2006-06-23T09:04:00.000-04:00

My previous post - a review of the disastrous Fanaa - gave me an idea for this post: well-known lovemaking scenes from Indian cinema. As I'd mentioned in the previous post, for a country that is obsessed with sex (I mean, we make such a big deal out of it - bans, fatwas, lawsuits and what-not. And then, of course, we have the small matter of our population) we are curiously squeamish about depicting lovemaking scenes in our movies - surrogates like two flowers touching each other, two horses (one black and the other white at that; I have always wondered what the colors signified) galloping, two butterflies tittering over a flower, two birds perched on a branch, a spilt pot of milk (for chrissakes, I mean) - the list is endless!

This post lists down the few actual lovemaking scenes that come to mind. Please do note that this list is not in any particular order - titillation-value, aesthetic-sense etc - I am just writing them down as and when they come to mind. You are welcome to contribute!

a. Kamal Hassan and Rani Mukherjee in 'Hey Ram':

One has to admit, Kamal Hassan is one lucky bastard. Wielding the directorial helm, Kamal does a fair imitation of a dog with a bone - he paws poor Rani, slobbers all over her face, and even bites her butt. However, when it comes to the actual scene, Kamal goes back to the old bedsheet-covered demure Indian woman cliche.

b. Mallika Sherawat in 'Murder'

Oh-man. This truly showed us 'what lies beneath' alright! Mallika's ample 'screen-presence' reduced even Emraan Hansini, the serial kisser of our times, to a mere spectator on the sidelines. i suspect even a suggestion of a bedsheet would have been pooh-poohed at by Mallika.

c. Rahul Khanna and Nandita Das in '1947: Earth'

Rather elegantly picturized, this one. The good-looking Rahul and the dusky Nandita sizzle in the background as the villain of the piece, Aamir, shows us the turmoil in his mind.

d. Kamal Hassan and Vasundhara Das in 'Hey Ram'

Hey, our man ain't done yet! After Rani is bumped off, Kamal 'discovers' Vasundhara, a demure yet intelligent Brahmin lass. Kamal is unnaturally controlled in the first few frames. However, after some bhang, Kamal unleashes himself on an unsuspecting Vasundhara; natural order is restored.

e. Anil Kapoor and Dimple in 'Janbaaz'

Feroz Khan's Janbaaz features a love-making scene shot with the hero and heroine romping around in hay, probably to camouflage the hairy Anil Kapoor. Remember, this was the shot that prompted Dimple to label Kapoor a barber's delight, probably in jealousy of him usurping her own 'crowing glory' tag.

f. Vinod Khanna and Madhuri Dixit in 'Dayavaan'

Feroz Khan directs this one as well. Or rather, mis-directs it, considering that he flicked almost every scene of the Mani Ratnam-Kamal Hassan classic 'Nayakan', and yet produced such excreable stuff. Featuring a teenaged Madhuri (and a teenaged Ramya Krishnan as well), this movie is still remembered only because of this love-making scene. Vinod Khanna exhibited a marked enthusiasm for the scene, that was noticeably lacking in several other scenes. Well, I guess one can't really blame him!

g. Manisha Koirala and some kid in 'Tum'

One of the most horribly picturized love-making scenes ever, in most probability. Manisha sprawls uninvitingly on a bed, looking more like a blue-whale trapped in a net and less like a desirable woman with every passing second. The poor kid, trying hard to simulate some semblance of passion, struts his stuff while Adnan Sami sings some nonsensical song in the background. Truly tragic, this, especially when one remembers the likes of '1942...' and 'Khamoshi'.

h. Madhuri Dixit and Anil Kapoor in 'Parinda'

Loudmouth though he is, Vidhu Vinod Chopra is one of the more sensible directors around. 'Parinda' features an elegantly shot love-making scene, with Anil Kapoor thankfully not showing much of his hairy self. The scene interperses with shots of a manic Nana Patekar (in a brilliant performance)furiously in search of them, and the suspense is built up skilfully.

i. Mallu love-making scenes - featuring Shakeela, Maria, Reshma and others of ther ilk

Now, these are genuinely funny, and form an entirely different category by themsleves. Most of these women are 40+, and look it too. Plus, they are all massive. For instance, the last emotion one would feel upon the sight of Shakeela on a bed would be lust (except in the case of a male hippopotamus, perhaps!); she is absolutely gigantic. The others are not much better either. And as for the actual scenes, they are so ludicrous that one can't help laughing out aloud. I will not attempt to describe them here, they are absolutely beyond words!

P.S: I think Kamal Hassan should form an entirely different category by himself too. I mean, hey, just count for yourselves: Hey Ram, Nayakan, Chachi 420, Virumandi, and still counting) but I'm a big fan of his movies, and hence I shall desist.

Fim Review: Fanaa

2006-06-21T06:36:00.000-04:00

What does one say of a director who manages a casting coup of sorts (Aamir Khan and Kajol are, arguably, Hindi cinema's best leading actors at the moment), and yet screws it all up by making a shoddy excuse of a movie? Kunal Kohli, who after torturing us with the disastrous 'Mujhse Dosti Karoge' - yeah, sadly I watched that too - opted to play safe by doing a desi version of 'When Harry Met Sally' (i.e. 'Hum Tum') minus the fabulous orgasm-scene, botches it up yet again. Everybody knows the story by now, I guess; for those who don't, its a dumbed-down, badly directed version of 'Dil Se'. Anyway, the movie is so sick I just had to write about it, so here goes:

An chinky-looking tourist guide (Aamir Khan, with more wrinkles than Jackie Chan) tries hard to woo the visiting Kashmiri lass (Kajol). IMO, one of the few intelligent things about the screenplay was making the girl blind; its sorta hard to imagine anybody else falling head-over-heels in love with this particular sicko shayari-spouting guide. To cut things short (and avoid umpteen shayari-bantering scenes), he flirts, she responds, he backs off, she becomes horny, they make love and lo - the inevitable happens: the babe-in-the-woods is now pregnant.

Now, Kajol does try to call her parents for advice before hopping into bed for what would be her first desi love-making scene (you know, the kind where the people making love are all cosily wrapped up inside satin bedsheets so that only their shoulders are visible, and the enthusiastic actors try to comepensate & enliven the procedure by furiously necking) on screen. Her mom Kiron Kher hogs the call, not allowing poor li'l fat daddy Rishi to talk to darling horny beti. Now, I am sure he wanted to talk about safe sex to his horny daughter, but because Kiron did not give the phone to him, Kajol did never realize the vritues of safe sex, and she became pregnant. Public Message 1: So all ya Kashmiri gals visiting Delhi, make sure you listen to your respective dads!

Well, getting back to the story (hic!), Aamir now takes Kajol to a bald doctor speaking in some strange wacko accent, who provides what seems to be Public Message 2: keep visiting your doctors, as medical science is progressing by leaps and bounds, and anything may be possible tommorow. Of course, the hefty consultation fees are but a minor incovenience. I bet the director's dad was a bankrupt doctor or something - any takers for this theory? But I digress: after delivering the public message, the bald doc promises a sucessful 'retinal transplant' and wheels off poor Kajol to what is presumably the OR. When she wakes up, hey presto: she can see! But by this time Aamir is AWOL, and presumably dead (Kajol acts well in this scene). But then comes the proverbial twist in the tale: Aamir is very much alive, and is in fact a dreaded international terrorist (a much trimmer and better-looking terrorist at that), who happened to fall in lust (sorry, love) with the blind Kashmiri lass. And then there's poor Tabu, a hotshot member of some obscure (well, given that the only other hotshot member seems to be Sharad Saxena, I bet it has to be pretty obscure) anti-terrorist squad - she must have been in need of some desperate money to have even given a moment's thought at this role.

The post-interval events are, in comparison, more entertaining; cliched and hackneyed though they may be. The terrorist organization now (that is, after 7 years) has a nuclear bomb, and Aamir has infiltrated a militray base to get his hands on the last piece (the 'trigger'). But then, Tabu's hot on his heels, and after a Bond-like chase sequence Aamir is injured badly enough to take shelter in a house (who else, but Kajol's). But of course, Kajol doesn't recognize Aamir (she was blind then, duh!). Possibilties of yet another love-making scene, where Kajol would recognize Aamir by the 'feel' of him, did cross my mind; but the director resorts instead to the antakshari phenomenon for the oh-my-gawd-its-him scene (I thought shayari would have been more appropriate, considering all that speil in the first half, but never mind!). Aamir and Kajol manage to make this stupid scene work, and that's quite a herculean task, believe me. Oh, and before I forget, there's the mandatory cute-as-a-button kid as well: the result of Kajol not listening to her 'experienced' dad. Rishi, I suspect, probably did the movie for all the free Scotch whiskies he was seen gulping throughout the movie.

The logical (a misnomer if there ever was one, I know) culmination follows: Aamir recuperates and even bathes the child (this is not the damn climax, ok!). But then Tabu (yeah, she was thinking all this time) has the bright idea of sending out televised warnings about a diminutive but dangerous man, and Rishi & Kajol get the picture. So Aamir bumps off Rishi, and Kajol bumps off Aamir. From a flying helicopter, Tabu shoots down the head of the terrorists, who is in yet another helicopter enough! Whew !!!

The sad part is that despite the hackneyed plot, the screenplay does have its moments (especially in the post-interval portions). For instance, Tabu argues briefly about a referendum on Kashmir, a topic hitherto left unexplored in cinema. There is also a subtle undercurrent of animosity between Tabu and her colleague, which remains unexplained and unexplored until the end (compare this to how well the relationship between the characters of Aamir and Mukesh Rishi was conveyed in 'Sarfarosh'). In the climax (clearly 'inspired' from Ken Follet's 'Eye of the Needle'), Aamir displays a fanatic steeliness to his character that could have made for cinema in the hands of a competent director.

Kajol, appearing on screen after a brief hiatus, is effective. Her character is essentially a repeal of her meek, obedient, docile sister-act in 'Dushman' and 'Kuch Khatti, Kuch Meethi' (yeah, I know, I am entirely jobless!). Oh, she's Kashmiri, so she dutifully throws in an 'abbu' and 'ammi' every few sentences - must be due to all the hard work that Kunal Kohli put in researching the Kashmir ethos, you know. Still, Kajol looks as radiant as ever, and her sheer presence is infectious. She plays a large role in salvaging this crappy movie.

Aamir Khan, whose new-year resolution seems to be to become this generation's Manoj Kumar (there's Sunny Deol in the fray too, but that's another story), plays the terorist, who is also supposed to be a master-of-disguises. Well, his first disguise was certainly very effective; in the pre-interval portions Aamir looks OLD and sorta plump as well. However, in the second half of the movie he looks as young and active as ever. On the emoting front, he is competent; however the absence of a strong screenplay jars.

Tabu is convincing. Rishi looks the part. Kiron Kher is fast becoming the female Alok Nath, which would be a shame given her considerable talent. Sathish Shah and Shiney Ahuja appear have miniscule screen time, and are roped in for the sole purpose of illustrating how ruthless Aamir is.

Verdict: Give this one a miss!

Why do they call it 'Rush Hour' when nothing moves?

2006-06-16T00:13:00.000-04:00

That's a Robin Williams quote, if I am right. Quite true, though - 'rush hour' is quite the misnomer, if there ever was one. Here, I narrate a couple of my experiences over the last month:

Chennai: Mon to Fri
Now, I work on the 'IT Corridor' in Chennai; yeah, the same general area where the proposed six-lane highway is going to come up by the end of the year (optimistic, aren't they!). Irrespective of lanes and highways, I hope they think of repairing the roads sometime before the end of this decade. Riding a bike on OMR (Old Mahabalipuram Road) would be easier if you have ever played a bike-racing game; the potholes, traffic and terrible driving sense would make this a truly memorable experience.

Now, there is this particular junction called SRP Tools on this road; a month ago, the traffic jams here looked like the release of a Rajnikanth movie. Honking, screaming cars with their bonnets angled in every possible direction; hapless two-wheelers trapped between the maze of cars with no way out, with their drivers' eyes darting left and right through the helmets, looking for the slightest opening; far-sighted (literally!!) two-wheelers giving this whole chakravyuha a wide berth, encroaching upon the oncoming vehicles in a desperate bid to reach the other side; abuses hurled galore - we had it all. Of course, needless to add, there is no traffic signal here! Most importantly, not one driver had the simple courtesy of giving way; everybody was bent on inching forward centimeter by centimeter, at the same time. A deadlock that would have had even Dijkstra tearing out his hair in frustration, I am afraid.

From the beginning of this month, I was pleasantly suprised to find able policement patrolling this junction to make sure that such hopeless traffic-jams do not occur. Things are much better than they were before, although the roads are still horrible and people still have horrible driving-sense. The cops have their job truly cut out, and they are doing some fine work in this highly congested area. A big thanks to them, and to the administration for acting in time.

Mumbai: A Weekend last month
I was in Mumbai for my aunt's 25th wedding anniversary celebrations, and the stifling heat as well as the overpowering dust put me off immediately. Trust me, Chennai and Bangalore seem nowhere as hot and dusty as Mumbai was (that particular weekend, at least!). Needless to say, I don't plan to return anytime soon.

But during the way back to the Mumbai airport, I had a whiff of what everybody talks about: the indomitable Mumbai 'spirit'. The roads were hopelessly jammed, with all kinds of vehicles blocking each other. And not a policeman in sight, to boot; I was resigned to the fact that I'd miss my flight (even accounting for the hopeless ineptitude of the Mumbai airport, but that is another story altogether!). But then, I'd not bargained for the resilience of some citizens (a Marwari, another guy who looked like a chauffeur, and a couple of others) who came out of their vehicles and forced the jammed vehicles to back off - one by one, inch by inch. Cajoling a lady on a scooty, berating a truck-driver who tried to inch forward while everybody else was backing off, exchanging good-natured banter with the auto and taxi-wallahs - they did all this and more with an easy familarity.

The junction (with no traffic signal, of course) was finally cleared, and the volunteers (for want of a better word) stayed at the junction to ensure that all the vehicles cleared that junction smoothly. This is something I have seen in no other Indian city before, and I have been to many cities in South India. Indeed, if somebody tried the likes of this in Kerala, he'd have probably got hit for trying to act too smart (and there'd have been a Communist bandh as well as a Congress bandth too). I was really, really impressed (and needless to add, thankful for saving me my 5000 bucks!).

As Govinda would put it, it happens only in India :).

Film Review: Pudhupettai

2006-05-30T07:29:00.000-04:00

Warning: Those of you who haven't seen this movie, but intend to: stay away from reading this until you have (seen the movie). There are PLENTY of spoilers ahead.

There's this particular passage in Mario Puzo's 'The Godfather', where Michael Corleone suddenly stiffens and glares at his brother Sonny who's laughing hard at 'the kid who wants to gun down the police captain, all because he got slapped around in the face a little bit'. Puzo's prose is absolutely rivetting when he describes the change that comes over Michael's persona; a chillness seems to emanate from Michael that fills the entire room.

Justifiably, this scene is not present in Coppolla's own version; nor was it filmed by Mani Ratnam or RGV in their own versions of this masterpiece (I am not even looking at stupid remakes like 'Aatank hi Aatank', 'Abhimanyu' and others of their ilk). Trust cocky Selvaraghavan to take a stab!

As a gang-member repeatedly hurls abuses against Kumar's (enacted magnificently by Dhanush) dead mother, the hitherto meek and obedient Kumar suddenly snarls back: Shut up, #$#@ or else! Of course, the scene falls flat on its feet (as a 'Godfather' tribute, else it is rather decent); Dhanush, not a Pacino, Kamal or a Mohanlal on even his best day, has neither the looks nor the panache to carry off such a scene.

What does Selvaraghavan do now? Well, try again, of course! This time, he resorts to the genius of Yuvan Shankar Raja to provide a lilting bgm as he prises out a nearly perfect scene - as perfect as they can get in commerical Indian cinema, I'd say. As a political hoodlum swings his arm to finish off a battered, staggering and dead-on-his-feet 'Kokki' Kumar, the director - in an astonishing display of film-making savvy - has his gawky protagonist blindly hit out with every iota of strength left in his body. The hoodlum drops down dead, and the 100-odd mob stands by in a shocked silence as a clearly exhausted-but-indomitable Kumar yells out like a maniac for more punishment. Combined with Yuvan's background-score, the scene underlines yet again what tremendous talent this brother-duo possess.

Now, there are a whole lot of people who avoid Selvaraghavan movies, claiming that he makes utterly crass movies about psychopaths. Well, their claims are partly true - his protagonists do exhibit signs of mental illness. But his movies are never crass; he just makes movies on crass people. And that, my friends, is a huge difference. With 'Pudhupettai', Selvaraghavan reaffirms that 'Kathal Kondein' and '7G Rainbow Colony' were no mere flashes in the pan.

'Pudhupettai' tells the tale of 'Kokki' Kumar, who narrates the story of his life from an imaginatively shaded prison cell (was the dual coloring supposed to indicate symptoms of multiple-personality disorder in Kumar? I am not sure, but the thought certainly crossed my mind). Kumar ends up in a life of crime upon his sheltered life being thrown into shambles when his father murders his mother in a murderous fit of rage. The meteoric rise of Kumar from the baby of the gang to a sudden adult is depicted mostly through a series of random scenes - Kumar eating, Kumar having sex with the prostitute (Sneha, who puts in a performance that can be best described as dignified), Kumar surviving an attack by the skin of his neck etc. The pre-interval portion of the movie is a treat to watch.

Post-interval, Selvaraghan resorts to idiosyncratic techniques which are fascinating to watch but do end up spoiling the tempo hitherto established. Moreover, much like in Mahesh Manjrekar's Vaastav, this part of the movie deals with a Kumar drunk on power (as they say, there is no better aphrodisiac than power), and the gradual unravelling of his empire. Unfortunately, Dhanush tends to go overboard in more than one scene, and his gravelling voice is irritating in several sequences. There is also at least one song more than what would have been ideal, and the best song of the album has not been picturized at all. The politics-gangsta' nexus is all very nicely filmed, but evokes strong feelings of deja-vu (RGV's 'Satya', for instance). However, there was an AWESOME scene with Dhanush and Sonia Agarwal (whose sole purpose in the movie was this scene, IMO!), where she almost snidely tells Dhanush that Sneha's child may not quite be his; Dhanush's heartbroken expression and the subtle hardening of his eyes speaks volumes (more than his voice ever could).

Now, for the performances: its the gawky, skeletal Dhanush all the way. Overcoming his looks, the young actor puts in tremendous effort and delivers a powerhouse performance. The only scenes that jar are the ones in which he hams, and thankfully Selvaraghavan does a fine job of reining his brother in most of the time. Sneha does another one of her trademark roles (the beautiful, dignified-in-the-face-of-suffering Indian nari), and she does pack in a lot of screen-presence, one has to admit. Most of the new actors do well. Sonia Agarwal has nothing much to do, except for that great scene.

Selvaraghavan is a tremendous talent, and he will only improve (the guy is just 3 movies old!) as time goes by. One wishes, though, that he stops picturizing those inane dance-numbers even when they clearly do not fit in to the scheme of things. Also, I strongly felt that in 'Puthupettai' the erotic song with Sonia was put in only to underline the fact that he is not a director to shy away from depicting sexuality on screen. However, in his previous outings (namely 'Kaathal Kondein' and '7G Rainbow Colony', though to a lesser extent), the scenes were integrated into the script, whereas here it is NOT. The climax, though perhaps as close to real-life as one can get, is a tremendous letdown (this was the case in his previous movie as well).

Verdict: A firm thumbs up (not for the faint-hearted; there's plenty of sex, violence and abuse).

Reservation - The Order of The Day

2006-05-25T07:21:00.000-04:00

For the last couple of days, I have been besieged with the following fwd:

Manmohan Singh (to George Bush): We are sending 10 people to the moon.
GB: Really? Who?
MS: 3 OBCs, 2BCs, 4 astronauts and a woman!

I am sure most of you would have received variants of the same message by now; after all, there are only so many new fwds on a given day. I am irritated by the whole issue, and hence my (outspoken) thoughts on the whole mess:

First of all: why do we oppose reservation? Is it because we are convinced that reservation is bad for the future for our country (i.e. moral and/or patriotic reasons), or is it more 'coz we strongly feel that a 50% reservation policy (or something of a similar vein) would severely undermine our own chances in the not-so distant future? I have to admit, I personally feel that it is predominantly the latter factor that has propelled the issue this far; it certainly is THE principal factor that makes me curse the ilk of V.P.Singh and Arjun Singh. After all, there are lots and lots of other equally inane things (reservation for women? demolition of slums? the Narmada dam issue?) that do not attract even a minor proportion of the publicity that this issue has (not to suggest that this is unimportant; it is, equally so).

If this vague feeling of insecurity were not enough, we have the fact that for the last 50 years the policy of so-called affirmative action has not helped in any way at all - we KNOW that mere caste-based reservation does not help. We have all those studies - the various ones that Karan Thapar quoted in his interview with Arjun Singh - to prove it. But do the pro-reservation dimwits care? No sir! Instead of doing the correct thing - which would be taking steps to reform our primary education and our inane examination system, which I grant is a long-term solution, but a sane one at least - our folks compound the problem by adding layers of reservations. Reservations for school seats, reservations for college seats, reservations for jobs, reservations for promotions (oh isn't that in yet? Fear not, the day is not too far away).

What makes this newfound enthusiasm for reservation even more abhorrent is that it is based on caste. Yes, you got that right - on CASTE. After 50+ years of Independence, after all those fwds of how India is 'shining' and 'improving', the elected leaders of our country still continue to think on the lines of segregating people on religion and caste. Most of us have already been privy to televised debates where students belonging to the forward classes have been accusing BC and OBC students of not being competent enough, and the disgruntled (but obviously) (O)BC students have been reacting in equally poor taste. Trust our politicians to create an issue where none existed, of course.

Now, I disagree with those who say that a reservation policy based on economic strata might be a better idea; I disagree with the whole policy of affirmative action itself. Why? Because any reservation in the educational sector is based on marks. And as anybody who has done his/her public education in one of the universities in South India (I am not all that familiar with the scene in the rest of India, but trust me, I am not too hopeful on that front either) can tell you, our examination system sucks. Big-Time.

First of all, we have an evaluation system where teachers are paid based on how many exam papers they evaluate per day; of course, they 'evaluate' a few dozen exam papers per day to earn as much money as they can (I apologize to all the sincere teachers out there, but even you know that you are outnumbered). One cannot really balme them; its their livelihood, dammit.

Then of course, we have all those horror stories of exam papers missing - perhaps, half eaten by cows and goats 'coz the driver of the university van decided to take a leak in an empty farm, leaving the door open. Of course, then there are all those stories of how all roll-numbers beginning with 'S' got exactly 93 marks out of 100 - irrespective of how many questions they even attempted.

But you might say, the good students fare well anyway. Trust me, its out of desperation - one learns to beat the system. Use lots of color-pencils and crayons and stuff to 'beautify' your answer-paper; underline important points; practice your goddamn handwriting as if you were going for a friggin' handwriting competition instead of an exam on Discrete Mathematics - sound familiar? Yes, one learns to beat the system at its own game.

My point: any student with the sheer tenacity to grind it out - 'mug' pages and pages of the textbook with not an inkling of the concept behind it - is liable to get great marks and be 'eligible' for posts in institutions of higher studies. On the other hand, a truly intelligent and interested student who goes out of his/her way to refer other books and understand the ifs and the buts will most probably barely be able to gather passing grades. That's merit for you, most of the time.

Hence any policy of reservation in education finally comes down to this: those who learn to beat the system would now face competition from those who haven't learnt to beat the system; that these others happen to be from a different caste is but incidental IMO. Hence the very idea of reservation is repugnant to me - whether it be for other castes, or the underprivileged.

IMHO (mabbe a naive one at that) one of the best ways to help would be to establish a meritocratic system (a meritocratic system does have its share of flaws, but would definitely be an improvement on what exists now). Establish scholarships for the economically backward in all schools, be they private or public, and establish norms to ensure that only the truly economically challenged get to take advantage of such scholarships. Change all examinations to an objective-based system, so that one doesn't have to carry a whole friggin' crayon factory to the exams. Insread of pushing for affirmative action, establish a policy of zero-discrimination instead s.t. we do not have Hindu, Muslim, Christian and Jainish schools. I belive a combination of these factors would help, but the implementation - sadly, that is another matter altogether!

P.S: The worst part is, do even the most hardcore advocators of reservation believe that it will help the truly underprivileged? Those who need real help - the last thing they have on their mind is attending school; they are struggling to survive. So who is reservation really for?