Friday, March 20, 2009

The Rotten Coconut Awards

Best Movie Titles:

College Kumaran: With Mohanlal in the title role. Perhaps a better title would have been College Kumarante Achchan.

Sound of Boot: Very apt, as the audience 'booted' it out of the theatres without a qualm.

De Ingottu Nokkiye: Nobody gave the movie even a first glance, despite the director trying to milk some controversy from some canned scenes.

Innovative Concepts:

An ex-major who has resigned his post (with no apparent repercussions) and opted to run the college canteen, with occasional forays into activities like coaching students, taking on corrupt politicians, helping out orphans in distress, bashing up stray goondas etc. Extremely original.

A love story starring Mammootty prancing around in leather outfits in Singapore, I presume. There's even a fashion show where M struts his stuff - (s)exciting, huh?

Suresh Gopi in yet another 'different' role, this time as a sanyasi detective - bet even Agatha Christie couldn't have thought of this one.

Dileep (Mulla) is a hardened criminal, who is forced to care for a baby. Within some days, the baby changes his behavior, arousing and developing the sense of empathy and humanity in the cold blood killer. Very, very original.

The English Scholar Award:

Move over, Suresh Gopi and Mammootty - M.G.Sreekumar is here. With buzz words like 'Audien' and 'Criticization', rumor has it that Renji Panicker is planning to cast M.G.Sreekumar in his latest abusive saga of cussing, swearing, and filpping the bird.

Best Director:

Balachandra Menon for De Ingottu Nokkiye (roughly translated to Hey! Look Here!). Not content with writing and directing this neo-classic, the director also appeared on several channels accusing others of 'chopping' his creation. Never miss a trick for publicity, huh?

Comeback of the Year:

should have been a cakewalk for this reward; he had his first post-millennium hit, riding on the petite shoulders of Gopika, and worked hard to revive some of his old mimicry tricks.

However there was another unexpected comeback in 2008 that had audiences whistling in joy, and dancing in the aisles. Yes - I am refering to the one actor in the history of Malayalam cinema who encompassed all emotions into one expression; who modulates his dialogue delivery like no other; who screeches like a jackal when delivering the only authentic karate kick of Malayalam cinema - none other than Babu Anthony in 20-20.

Performances of the Year:

Mohanlal in College Kumaran lends new expression to the word sleepwalking. In a role he is clearly disinterested in, Lal barely goes through the motions - leading to the question why exactly he signed the movie.

Mammootty in Annan Thambi on the other hand, is loud, ebullient and thoroughly irritating - I almost prefered the sleepwalking Lal. I can at least figure out why Lal walked through CK in a daze; but why Mammootty invested all his energy into a movie as inane as AT defies logic.

Old Wine in New Bottle Award:

Unanimously to Sathyan Anthikkad for re-inventing, re-polishing, re-painting, and re-selling the same wheel over and over again.